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The struggles (social, financial and political) of Petroleum V. Nasby

embracing his trials and troubles, ups and downs, rejoicings and wailings, likewise his views of men and things : together with the lectures "Cussid be Canaan," "The struggles of a conservative with the woman question," and "In search of the man of sin"
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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CONTENTS.

  • LETTERS.

    • I. An Autobiographical Sketch.
      Photograph of the Author. — Cost of Photograph. — Birthplace of the Author.
      — Precocious Boyhood. — Origin of his Political Principles. — Education. —
      Enterprise. — Misfortune. — Cruel Judge. — Objects of his Life. — Model Father.
      — Benevolent Neighbors. — Versatility of Genius. — Becomes a Useful Member
      of Society. — Striving for a Fortune. — Matrimonial Disaster. — Renewed Devotion
      to his Life-work. — Becomes a Politician and Office-holder. — Is happy. 33

    • II. The Secession of Wingert's Corners.
      Meeting of Citizens. — Nasby Chairman. — Address to the World adopted. —
      Grievances. — Overburdened with Taxes, and without Share in the Offices. —
      Independence declared. — Military Preparations. — The People resolute. 39

    • III. Negro Emigration.
      Negro Population. — Dangers of the State. — An Alarm. — Resolutions. — Stirring
      Appeal to Patriotism. 41

    • IV. Proposes to Celebrate the Fourth of July.
      Order of Procession. — Exercises of the Day and Evening. 43

    • V. Annihilates an Oberlinite.
      The Cause of the War. — Perversity and Obstinacy of Oberlin. — The American
      Eagle. — Effect of Oberlin Ideas. 44

    • VI. Makes a Candidate “uv Hisself.”
      Reasons. — Claims. — Capacity. — Principles. — More Resolutions. — States his
      Position, which is Comprehensive. — Isn't particular what Office he has. 47

    • VII. Shows why he should not be Drafted.
      Studies Himself. — Is Bald-headed. — Dandruff. — Catarrh. — Blind. — Bad Teeth.
      — Diarrhœa. — Costiveness. — Ruptured. — Varicose Veins. — Corns. — And is
      afflicted with Political Opinions. 50

    • VIII. In Canada.
      Congratulations. — Unskilful Physicians. — Terrors of Night Travelling. — A
      Voyage in an Open Boat. — The Hegira of the Invalids. — Cantious Canadian
      Landlord. — Unpleasant Bedfellow. — Applies to his Wife for Money. 51

    • IX. Is finally Drafted.
      Homeward Bound. — Happy Anticipations. — Disappointment. — His Nose betrays
      Him. — Seeks Safety by Volunteering. — A Ray of Light. — Condensed
      Ecstasy. — Patriotic Enthusiasm. — Affecting Message to Louisa Jane. 53

    • X. Deserts — His Experience in Clothes.
      Escapes by a Fortunate Mistake. — Falls into the Hands of the Louisiana Pelicans.
      — Their Uniform. — Changes his Uniform. — Provides his own Rations. 55

    • XI. Captures a Turkey.
      Discomforts of Military Life. — Light Food and Clothing and Irregular Pay. —
      Great Abundance of Money. — The Turkey. — Is confiscated. — Feast. 57


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    • XII. Improves his Fortunes by Marriage.
      Misery. — An Extravagant Wife. — No Credit. — Marries a Widow. — Result of
      the Speculation. — A Practical Joke. — Change of Views on Slavery Question. 59

    • XIII. Converses with a Southern Soldier.
      A Great Rascal spoiled by Lack of Brains. — Family Misfortunes of a Southerner.
      — The Utopia of Mechanics. — Nasby as a Watchmaker. — Prospective Success
      of the Confederacy. 60

    • XIV. At Home.
      Suffering for Principle. — Human Endurance limited. — Justification of Desertion.
      — How Deserters fare at Home. — Hospitality of his Friends. — They take
      up a Collection. — A Mistake. — The Difference explained. — Nasby retains the
      Money. 62

    • XV. Assists Draft Resisters.
      Drills the Heroes of Hoskinville. — Extraordinary Military Expertness. — A
      Stratagem. — Arrested and imprisoned. 63

    • XVI. Strategies.
      The Hobby of Democracy. — Disguises Himself. — Negro Invasion — Perfect
      Success. — Deception justifiable. 65

    • XVII. Addresses the Soldiers.
      Managers of the Democracy meet. — Alarming Stupidity. — Some Political Facts.
      — Inroad of the Negroes. — An Appeal for Peace. 67

    • XVIII. Organizes a Democratic Church.
      Dangerous Influence of Churches. — Nasby's Gigantic Intellect contrives a Harmless
      Church. — Order of Exercises. — The Sunday School on a Pure Basis. —
      Catechism. — Rewards to stimulate the Infant Mind. — A Festival. — Prospective
      Good. — Touching Scene. — Virtue rewarded. 69

    • XIX. Goes on with his Church.
      An Intelligent Audience. — The Sermon. — Tyranny denounced. — Democratic
      Class-meeting. — Confessions. — Fines to be devoted to Missionary Service. —
      A Rich Field. 71

    • XX. “Capcherd.”
      Joins the Peace Forces at Millersberg. — Is made Commander-in-chief. — The
      Enemy appear. — Taken and imprisoned at Columbus. — An Epistle to the
      Church. — Begs to be shown some Little Attention. 73

    • XXI. Starts a Paper.
      Insulting Remark. — The “Marter and Tyrent Resister” — Principal Contributors:
      Petroleum V. Nasby, P. V. Nasby, P. Volcano Nasby, and Mr. Nasby. —
      Appeal to the Democracy for Support. — Enthusiastic Reception by his Church.
      — An Assault. — A Rescue. 74

    • XXII. Preaches, and makes a Sudden Shift.
      The Draft Inevitable. — Precautionary Measures. — Two Sets of Resolutions. —
      Immigration Encouraged. — The Sagacious Nasby. 76

    • XXIII. Observes a Day of Fasting.
      Instructions to his Flock. — The Text. — The Silver Lining. — Conundrums in
      the Pulpit. — Exhortation. — Census of the Church. — The Church safe. 78

    • XXIV. Confession of Faith.
      A Glorious Season. — Eighteen added to the Church. — The Confession of Faith.
      — Preparations for a Revival. 80

    • XXV. Visits Vallandigham.
      The Prisoner. — A Scene. — His Motto “Nil despritrando.” — The Two Great Men
      of the Age. — Plans for the Salvation of Ohio. — A Large Nest and a Small Hen. 81

    • XXVI Converses with a Brother.
      The Wanderer returns. — Affectionate Reception. — Still holds to Democracy. —
      Not up to the Times. — He repudiates his Party. — Denounces the Degeneracy
      of the Times, and departs with the Blessings of Petroleum V. 83


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    • XXVII. Preaches — Subject, “Givin'.”
      What is giving? — When should we give? — Democracy always Scriptural. —
      Why we should give. — The Consequences of not giving. — A Great Lesson. 86

    • XXVIII. Visits Camp Dennison to Electioneer for Vallandigham.
      Approaches a Party. — Sows his Seed. — Stony Ground. — Disagreeable Result. —
      Outrages. — Sudden Retreat. — Escape. — Sick. 88

    • XXIX. Waileth.
      Resolves to become a “Nunnery.” — Martial Law. — The Election Returns. —
      Swoons — Despondency. — An Attempt at Suicide. — Foiled. — Prostration. —
      Takes to Strong Drink. 90

    • XXX. In the “Apossel Biznis.”
      A Democratic Propagandist. — Extracts from his Journal. — Pilgrimage. — Borrows
      of the Faithful. — A Good Hair-dye. — Concessions Necessary to Compromise.
      — Borrows Money, and gives his Note. — Benevolence a Characteristic. —
      Borrows more Money, which he expects to pay. 92

    • XXXI. Has an Interview with the President.
      A Modest Request on Behalf of Ohio Democracy. — Lincoln, struck with his
      Modesty, promises to consider the Matter. — Encourages Nasby, who, without
      Ambition, would accept a Post Office. — Dismisses himself impressively, and
      walks off. 93

    • XXXII. Preaches.
      The Text. — Why the Democracy needs saving. — A Broad Platform. — The Panacea
      for Democratic Woes. — Abolitionists must be induced to Enlist. — And
      Canadian Refugees to Return. — A Big Job. 96

    • XXXIII. Submits a Plan for the Salvation of the Democratic Party.
      A Radical Change. — An Anecdote. — Resolves to Conciliate the Blacks. 98

    • XXXIV. Takes a Retrospective View.
      The Good Old Times. — Disintegration of the Party. — Abolition creeps in. — An
      Army of Ghosts. 99

    • XXXV. Communes with Spirits.
      Nasby's Faith in Spiritualism. — A Happy Belief. — The Circle. — The Spirits of
      the Fathers. — Unsatisfactory Answers. — All the Spirits Impostors. — The Last
      Words of Douglas. — The Collection pays for the Use of the Church. 101

    • XXXVI. Tries an Experiment.
      Perversity of the Human Race. — A Beautiful Provision of Nature. — The Strong
      take the Weak under their Protection. — White Slavery Established in the
      North. — A Strong-minded Woman. — The Result. — Disestablishes the System. 104

    • XXXVII. Establishes African Slavery.
      Tries an Experiment with Negro Slavery. — Proves the Principle by the Scriptures.
      — A Popular Scheme. — The Discussion. — Heretics in the Church. —
      This System also fails. — Jordan a Hard Road. 106

    • XXXVIII. Opposes the Nomination of a Military Man.
      Nasby a Man of Talent. — His Faith in Democracy. — McClellan's Want of Ability.
      — Constitutional Rights Illustrated. — Grant too Bloody. — Party Gymnastics.
      — The Style of Man Needed. — A Happy Thought. 108

    • XXXIX. Tries to Awaken an Interest.
      Gloomy Forebodings. — An Effort at Strategy. — Disappointment. — Terrible Falling
      off. — Drifting. — His Congregation Lukewarm. 110

    • XL. Recommends Unanimity.
      An Incident. — Borrowing a Family Trait. — A Parable. — Discouraging Work. —
      Moral. 112

    • XLI. Again repudiates McClellan, and gives Reasons therefor.
      No Elements of Success. — If elected, would be of no Use. — The Parable of the
      Circus Rider. 114


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    • XLII. Ordains a Missionary.
      A Promising Candidate. — The Charge after Ordination. — The Ship “Democracy”
      headed for the Rocks of Destruction. — Rules for a Democratic Missionary. 116

    • XLIII. Gives Thanks.
      A Psalm of Praise. — Proviso. 118

    • XLIV. Waileth.
      A Wail. — Distraction. — A Terrible Bereavement. 120

    • XLV. Fremont's Nomination.
      The Right Man in the Right Place. — Encouraging Prospects. 122

    • XLVI. The Return of Vallandigham.
      Great Rejoicing. — Somewhat Mixed. — The Exile's Duty to his Party. — A
      Troublesome Friend. — The Author's Affection surpassed by his Patriotism. 123

    • XLVII. Defines his Position, and appeals for Aid.
      Obstacles to Democratic Success. — The Corner Stone. — Superstitions of the
      Churches. — The Principle of Property in the Negro derived from Blackstone.
      — A Weak Point in Every Democratic Principle. — Laborers Plenty, but Harvest
      Scant. — Contributions can safely be sent to any Regular Officer. 125

    • XLVIII. Declares for Repudiation, and Union with the South.
      Certain Success of the Southern Confederacy. — Reconciliation of Democracy
      with New England Impossible. — Confederacy will not undertake to pay our
      Debt. — Repudiation a Dirty Trick. — Democracy must do it. 127

    • XLIX. Shows that a War Platform won't do for the Democracy.
      Contemplates retiring from Public Life. — Prospective Destruction of Democracy
      Immediate. — Success Equally Dangerous with Defeat. — Clear Elucidation of
      the Proposition. — Success not Desirable, and why. 130

    • L. Has a Class-meeting, and Deprecates Negro-killing.
      The Speech of the Saints. — Brother Siples is Weak, but has his Faith Strengthened.
      — Another Weak One Strengthened. — Misdirected Enthusiasm. — A
      Little Computation. — Vile Slanders refuted. — An Honest Man. — Southern
      Ardor Dampened. — A Touching Picture. — Nasby's Flock still Strong. 131

    • LI. Starts a Society of His Own.
      An Order adapted to the Party. — The Ritual. — A Series of Interesting Queries.
      — Position of the Society strong. — Appeals to the Natural Instincts of its
      Members 132

    • LII. Indorses the Nomination.
      Always does from Principle. — Biographical Sketch of a Candidate. — The Father
      of the Man. — His Railroad Experience. — His Military Career Well Known. —
      Nasby accepts the Platform, and takes up a Collection. 134

    • LIII. The Candidates and Platform.
      The Enthusiasm for McClellan. — Diversity of Opinion. — The Idea of Brother
      Guttle. — Is a little Particular. — Consolatory Remarks of the Pastor. — An
      Accommodating Platform. — Guttle Squelched 137

    • LIV. Waileth.
      Psalm of Humiliation and Agony. — A Double-barrelled Wail. — A Cry of Anguish.
      — A Heart-rending Wail. — Job, Naaman, and Samson discounted. — The
      Ox and the Ass. — Curses the Day of his Birth. 139

    • LV. Lamenteth.
      Reaches a Conclusion. — A Reason of Mourning. — Psalm. — Nowhere to turn.
      — A Prayer for Victory. 141

    • LVI. Has a Dream.
      Dreams are Unsubstantial. — Likewise Ghosts. — An Exploration of the Future.
      — An Interesting Examination. — A Prince in Disguise. — A Case of Slander.
      — Reflections on Posterity. 143


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    • LVII. Loses a Friend, and Writes his Obituary.
      The Fallen Pillar. — A Beautiful Trait of Character. — Commences his Political
      Career. — Perseverance. — Death Hastened by Disappointment. — A Consistent
      Member of the Church. — Comprehensive Political Principles. — Direct Cause
      of his Death. — His Last Words 145

    • LVIII. Has a Difficulty with his Flock, and leaves it.
      Freedom's Squawk. — A Happy Reason. — The Dream changes. — How the Result
      was Accounted for. — Fraud. — A Strategical Retreat. — Bids Farewell to
      his Flock, and departs for New Jersey 148

    • LIX. Deprecates the Arming of the Slaves by the South.
      A Dissertation on Blood. — Inferiority of Northern White Soldiers. — Chivalry
      of Officers. — A Touching Picture. — Fearful Destruction of Property. — Consolation
      of Democracy. — What ought to be done 150

    • LX. Has a Frightful Dream.
      Is afflicted with Dreams. — Jefferson at the Funeral of Democracy. — Is Surprised.
      — More Surprises. — And still more. — Douglas speaks over the Dead
      Body. 152

    • LXI. Proposes an Emigration of the Democracy.
      Thoughts derived from the Bible. — The Dangerous Remedy. — A Mathematical
      Calculation. — How to Make Heroes. — A Nation of Office-holders 154

    • LXII. Consults the Spirits.
      Has no Faith in Spirits. — Too Ethereal. — Some Tests. — An Assortment of Spirits.
      — Some Necessary, but Unpleasant Truths. — Secession caused by the North. 156

    • LXIII. Waileth and Curseth.
      Bad News. — A Wail and Curse. — An Epidemic. — “Speshly hot” Curse. —
      Sherman's “Cussidness.” 158

    • LXIV. Renounces Slavery.
      Wages of Sin. — Why he Renounces Slavery. — The Car of Emancipation. — The
      Devil's Work. — Sighs for the Fate of Jonah. — Juggernaut. — The Circular 160

    • LXV. Lamenteth.
      A Soul-rending Lamentation. — Surrounded by Enemies. — The Provost-Marshal. 162

    • LXVI. Details the Failures of the Democracy.
      The Stupidity of the People mourned over. — Failures in the Business of Prophesying.
      — The People Crazy. — Convinced of the Truth of the Millerite Doctrine. 163

    • LXVII. Mr. Nasby and his Friends hold a Meeting on the
      Fall of Charleston.

      A Moist Season. — The Resolutions. — Adopted. — Nasby makes a Speech. — The
      Fall of Charleston a Blessing. — Makes a Sensation. — And takes Occasion to
      borrow a little Money 164

    • LXVIII. Lamenteth over the Apostasy of the Saints.
      Tidings of Evil. — A Succession of Misfortunes. — Weeping and Cursing of no
      Avail. — A Loss of Faith in Humanity. — The Backbone of the Party gone 167

    • LXIX. The Fall of Richmond, and Lee's Surrender.
      Concentration. — Lee Surrenders. — Contemptible Actions of the Southern People.
      — The Last Concentrate Concentrated. — Democracy about to Dic of Chagrin
      and other things. — Nasby resolves to become a Nun 169

    • LXX. The Assassination.
      A Nation in Mourning. — Nasby Mourns. — Why. — Why he ever Disliked Lincoln.
      — Forgives him. — The Change not for the Better 171

    • LXXI. Makes a “Delegashun uv Hisself,” and Visits the President.
      Delegations in Vogue. — Defence of New Jersey. — Responsibility of the President.
      — The Only Plan. — Difference 173


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    • LXXII. Has a Vision.
      Ancient Dreams Prophetical. — Reception at the Gates of Heaven. — Better Reception
      in another Place. — Interview with Satan. — His Property. — In Fee. —
      Mortgages. — Who will and Who will not. — A Narrow Escape. — A Happy
      Awakening 175

    • LXXIII. Lays down a Platform for the coming Campaign.
      What the Matter is. — Red Flag of the Democracy. — “Save us from Nigger
      Equality.” — Central Committees must furnish them. — If they won't steal, the
      Committee must for them 178

    • LXXIV. Meets a “Reconstructid Suthern Chivelry, and hez
      Confidences.”

      General Marion Sumpter Fitzhugh Gusher. — A True Gentleman. — Parental Affection
      for the Old Flag. — State Rights. — A Child of Nature. — Conditions of
      Peace. — Generosity of Southern Democracy. — A Noble Man. — Nasby becomes
      a Lender 180

    • LXXV. Dreams a Dream.
      A Common Recreation. — A Monument to the Heroes of Gettysburg. — The Insult
      to General McGoryum. — Indignant Speech. — The Compromise 183

    • LXXVI. Issues an Address to the Southern Democracy.
      Two Discoveries. — Past Misfortunes. — What to do, and How to do it. — Enterprising
      Yankee. — Duties of Legislators. 186

    • LXXVII. Searches the Scriptures, and Gets Comfort therefrom.
      The Nigger past finding out. — Nasby dejected. — His Cure. — Providential Origin
      of the Nigger. — The Story of Noah. — Light. — Moral 188

    • LXXVIII. Opposes the Nomination of Soldiers.
      Halting between two Opinions. — Parable of the Doctor. — His Objections. — Political
      Capital enough 190

    • LXXIX. Suggests a Psalm of Sadness for his Friends South.
      A Psalm of Agony. — The Nigger. — Lincoln's Sin. — A Supplication for Mercy 192

    • LXXX. A Horrible Vision.
      Campbell. — Nasby's Superiority. — The Lost Negro. — The Death Scene. — Fernando
      Wood's Grief. — Funeral Orations. — What Horace Greeley said. —
      Awakening 194

    • LXXXI. Meets a Pardoned Rebel, who Enlightens Him.
      General Mosher. — A Model Man. — Unnecessary Fear. — Fate of the Ancient
      Chivalry. — Hopes. — A Child of Pious Parents 199

    • LXXXII. On Southern Character.
      Delusions. — The Effect of Novel Reading. — Youthful Credulity. — The Ideal
      Southerner. — The Real Southerner 201

    • LXXXIII. On the Diversity of the Races.
      Unfortunate Necessity of Giving a Reason. — No Reason to Give. — An Ethnological
      Point. — A Sound Theory 204

    • LXXXIV. Has a Conversation with the Devil.
      New Jersey in Danger. — Consolatory Remarks. — A Happy and Prosperous
      Devil. — His Fears and Hopes. — A Pleasant Country. — Fiendish Plans. — A
      Warm Embrace 206

    • LXXXV. Appeal to the Democracy.
      A Time for Action. — A Variety of Platforms. — A Subject for Contemplation. —
      New Jersey Safe 209

    • LXXXVI. After the October Elections, 1865.
      Abolitionism Rampant. — An Interrupted Speech. — And a Sudden Ending. —
      Mockery. — A Heavy Democratic Majority in the Future 212


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    • LXXXVII. After the New Jersey Election, 1865.
      Prospective Happiness. — A Terrible Blow. — A Sad Song. — A Wail. — Horrible
      Visions. — Where shall Refuge be found? 214

    • LXXXVIII. A Conversation with General McStinger, of the State
      of Georgia, which is interrupted by a Subjugated Rebel.

      Washington. — Comfortable Quarters. — The Offended Chivalry. — The Conditions
      of Reconciliation. — An Interruption. — What Mr. Maginnis had to say.
      — His Advice 217

    • LXXXIX. A Remarkable Dream — A Country Settled exclusively
      by Democrats.

      A Second St. John. — The Democratic Exodus. — Consternation among the Natives.
      — The President. — Oath waived. — Numbering the Host. — Clergy. —
      Candidates for Office. — Murmurings and Discontent. — The Moral 221

    • XC. A Change of Base — Kentucky — A Sermon which was
      interrupted by a Subjugated and Subdued Confederate.

      An Anchor. — Cheap Tools. — A Stupid Blunder. — Cheap Drinks. — Wages of
      Sin. — What is Sin? — Another Sermonizer. — The same Text from a different
      Stand-point. — A Disagreeable Conclusion 225

    • XCI. The Effect the Proclamation of Secretary Seward produced
      in Kentucky.

      The Dark Deed. — The Wail of the Patriarch. — A Fainting Scene. — The Misery
      of Abolitionism 229

    • XCII. A Conversation with a Loyal Kentuckian who had Faith
      in the Final Triumph of Democracy.

      A Hopeful Kentuckian. — His Cure. — Pleasant Anticipations. — A Difficulty
      Settled. 232

    • XCIII. A Plan Suggested for the Up-building of the Democracy.
      Light. — A Suggestion. — The Social Sliding Scale. — The Nigger must be Cultivated.
      — The Negro a Man. — And is sweeter than the Night-blooming Cereus.
      — The Foundation of the New Temple 235

    • XCIV. Enjoys a Vision of the Next World, Seeing therein many
      Curious Things, which are Published as a Warning to Politicians.


      Evening Meal. — A Light Supper. — The Dividing Line. — Myriads of Little Devils.
      — Their Amusement. — Satan's Ideas. — His Hopes 239

    • XCV. The Situation — The Democracy Warned.
      The Trouble of Living on Faith. — “Where is the Offices?” — Nasby's Recommendation.
      — The Central Idea. — Will he do it? 243

    • XCVI. The President's 22d of February Speech.
      The Capture of the President. — Unsound Reasons. — A Description of the Captors.
      — And their Enthusiasm. — A Genuine Democrat. — The Great Question. 246

    • XCVII. The President Implored to Show his Hand.
      A Protest. — Humanity Deceptive. — Reasons of the Speech. — Hesitation. — The
      Price of Allegiance. — The Central Figure 250

    • XCVIII. The Patriarchal System — An Affecting, Appeal in Behalf
      of a Friend.

      Free Negroes Successful. — John Guttle. — An Old Friend. — The Guttle Family.
      — Their Downfall. — Former Hospitality. — Guttle and the Democracy 253

    • XCIX. A Dream — The Course of Republicanism.
      An Interview with the President. — A Sad Want of Tact. — Corpse of Republicanism.
      — Dividing the Raiment. — Expressions of Grief. — The Struggle over
      the Plunder 256

    • C. A Kentucky Tea Party.
      Infidelity. — The Southern Idea of Sumner. — Pollock, the Disturber. — A Painful
      Investigation. — A Very Remarkable Coincidence. — The Commandment. —
      A Democratic Interpretation. — Assertion of Superiority. — Mrs. Pogram threatens
      War. — More about Sumner 260


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    • CI. A Psalm of Gladness — Veto of the Civil Rights Bill.
      An Exultant Strain. — What shall Come to Pass. — Blessed be Moses 265

    • CII. A Cry of Exultation — A Gleam of Light.
      The Moses. — Change of Israelites. — The Parable of the Eel. — Process of Reconstruction.
      — A Kentucky Code. — A Striking Tableau. 267

    • CIII. A Wail of Anguish — The Passage of the Civil Rights Bill
      over the Veto.

      A Kettle full of Curses. — Fire fed with Oil. — The American Moses. — The Seven
      Devils. — The Serpent. — Effect of Civil Rights Bill. — Gloomy Prospect. 271

    • CIV. Mournful View of the Situation.
      The Useless Curse. — Negro Impudence. — Where is the Curse? — What the President
      should do. 275

    • CV. The Reconstructed Congratulate the Country upon the
      Memphis Outbreak.

      The Unpleasantness at Memphis. — An Orator who understands his Subject. —
      Great Success. — Deep Foundations of Democracy. — Impertinent Questions by
      a Beast. — The Argument. 277

    • CVI. The Workings of the Freedmen's Bureau — A Report.
      An Unbiassed Report. — The Congregation Assemble. — What Captain Skelper
      knows about Bureaus. — The Infamous Bureau. — How it spoiled the Negroes.
      — Its Removal Necessary to the Welfare of the Country. 281

    • CVII. Presides at a Church Trial.
      Examination of Witnesses. — An Important Point. — Guilty, but Justified. — Full
      Explanation. — Prisoner Discharged. — The Court's Address to the People. 285

    • CVIII. Turns a Meeting, called to indorse General Rosseau, to
      Account.

      Chairman. — Resolutions. — The Everlasting Post Office. — Resolutions Unanimously
      Adopted without Reading. 288

    • CIX. Preaches — “The Prodigal Son” — An Interruption.
      Splendid Congregation. — Promising Prospects. — A Plain Statement. — Applying
      the Moral. — The Abolitionists Preach, but won't Practice — The Church Militant.
      — And its Statement. 291

    • CX. A Pleasant Dream, the Philadelphia Convention being the
      Subject thereof.

      His Dreams mostly Nightmares. — The Organization. — Who should be Admitted.
      — From the North. — From the South. — Garret Davis's Speech. — The
      Resolutions. — Tableau. — The Awakening. 295

    • CXI. Reward of Virtue — The Virtuous Patriot Secures his
      Loaf — Jollification.

      Receives his Commission. — The Johnsonian Catechism. — A Procession. — The
      Deacon's Speech. — Bascom's Remarks. — Congratulatory Addresses. — The
      Resolutions. 300

    • CXII. The Convocation of Hungry Souls at Philadelphia — A
      Description of that Memorable Occasion by One who had been
      Provided for.

      Perfect Satisfaction. — The Delegate. — The Prevalence of the Military. — What
      they all had in their Eyes. — Nasby is Overcome, and Faints. — Is Carried Out.
      — The Party Bonds. — The Story of the Irishman. 305

    • CXIII. The Great Presidential Excursion to the Tomb of
      Douglas — From Washington to Detroit.

      Nasby summoned to Washington. — Appointment of a Chaplain. — Preliminary
      Discussion of the Journey. — The Setting Hen. — The Start. — The New York
      Reception. — The Progress. — Albany. — An Unkind Cut. — Schenectady. —
      Nasby a Man much sought after. — Utica. — The Speech. — Rome. — Lockport.
      — Too much Swing. — Trouble at Cleveland. — The Procession of One. — Fremont.
      — At Detroit. — Brilliant Effort of the President. 310


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    • CXIV. The Presidential Tour Continued — From Detroit to
      Indianapolis.

      Nasby at Home. — The Presidential Cavalcade at Ypsilanti. — Enthusiasm of the
      People. — Ann Arbor. — More Enthusiasm. — Battle Creek. — Cheers. — Kalamazoo.
      — At Chicago. — The Ethiopian Cooks. — Trouble at the Biddle House.
      — A Dilemma. — Nasby Gently Persuaded. — Joliet. — Crowd Immense. — St.
      Louis. 316

    • CXV. The End of the Presidential Tour — From Louisville to
      Washington.

      Gratified at last. — A Touching Incident. — A Gushing Maiden. — Continuation
      of the Diary. — Cincinnati. — Enthusiastic Reception. — Unsophisticated Postmaster.
      — Great Variety in the President's Speeches. — At Johnstown, Pa. —
      Mifflin, Pa. — A Spontaneous Tribute. — Baltimore. — Arrival at Washington. —
      Postscript. 320

    • CXVI. At Home again — A Detailed Account of Soul-harrowing
      Outrages inflicted upon the People of Confederate × Roads
      by a Party of Freedmen, and how the Insult was Wiped out.

      At Home again. — A Negro Settlement. — Meeting of the Saints. — Speeches by
      the Brethren. — Pollock advises. — The Result. — A Reconstruction Movement.
      — An Unendurable Outrage. — Remarkable Forbearance. 324

    • CXVII. Is requested to act as Chaplain of the Cleveland Convention
      — That Beautiful City Visited for that Purpose.

      A Chaplain Necessary. — The Soldiers in Attendance. — Enthusiasm of the Delegates.
      — A Prisoner secured. — A Man of Principle. — Speeches. — The Extemporaneous
      Speaker. — The Wrong Carpet Bag. 329

    • CXVIII. An Appeal to the People just before the October
      Electious.

      The Sins of Congress. — To the Democracy direct. — The Magnanimity of the
      South. — The Bruised Reed. — A Moving Appeal. 334

    • CXIX. The October Elections — The Effect the Result Produced
      in Kentucky.

      Deacon Pogram's Suggestion. — Joe Bigler's Definition of Conservative. — The
      Pogram Household. — The Effect of the News. — Fruits of Radicalism. 338

    • CXX. The October Elections — Mr. Nasby's Opinion on the
      Cause of the Defeat of the President.

      The Cabinet Meeting. — The Testimony of an Official. — How an Expert did it.
      — The Main Pillar. — The Cabinet in Tears. 342

    • CXXI. Will you have Andrew Johnson President or King? —
      A Dream in which Andrew Johnson Figures as a King, surrounded
      by his Nobles.

      Nasby of an Imaginative Nature. — The Reception Night of “Androo the I.” —
      His High Mightiness. — The Servants. — The Arrival of the Nobility. — The
      Prisoners of State. — “The last uv the Tribunes.” — What had been done. — A
      Postmaster as Good as a Nobleman. 346

    • CXXII. A Cabinet Meeting — Letters from Rev. Henry Ward
      Beecher, General Custar, Henry J. Raymond, and Hon. John
      Morrissey, each Anxious to Preserve his Reputation — A Sad
      Time at the White House.

      Several Gentlemen Alarmed for their Reputations. — Mr. Beecher's Respect for
      the Office. — The Morrissey Seal. — A Broken Heart. 350

    • CXXIII. A Sermon upon the November Elections, from the
      Text, “No Man Putteth New Wine into Old Bottles,” with a
      Digression or Two.

      A Mournful Season at the Corners. — The Happy Negro. — A Servant unto his
      Brethren. — The New Wine in Old Bottles. — Old Cloth on a New Garment. —
      The Conclusion. 355


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    • CXXIV. The Amnesty Proposition — The Cross Roads made
      the Victim of a Cruel Hoax.

      The Little Game of Draw. — The New York Drummer. — The Joy which Filled
      the Corners. — Moderate Qualifications. — The Superiority of the Caucasian
      Race Vindicated. — The Deacon's Exposition. — Sad Discovery. 359

    • CXXV. Mr. Nasby Projects a College.
      A Southern College. — The Deacon's Idea of Education. — The College Grounds.
      — The Faculty. — Curriculum. — The Executive Committee. 363

    • CXXVI. Mr. Nasby Tries to Weep at the Tomb of a Friend.
      The Death of John Guttle. — Sad Reflections. — Causes of his Death. — The
      Guttle Family. — The Negro an Imitative Animal. — Mr. Nasby at the Grave.
      — The Meeting of the Daughters. — Interesting Conversations. — The Wreck
      that Ensued. 367

    • CXXVII. Mr. Nasby in North Carolina — The Abrogation of
      General Sickles's Order.

      Colonel Podgers. — The Insult. — The Trial and Decision. — Nasby's Modesty. —
      And Colonel Podgers's Liberality. 370

    • CXXVIII. Mr. Nasby's Account of his Stewardship — Laying
      the Corner Stone of the College Edifice.

      The Report. — Where the Money went to. — Indignation. — Laying the Corner
      Stone. — Reflections on Posterity. — Tableau. 374

    • CXXIX. Mr. Nasby Essays a Sermon, but is Interrupted by a
      Nigger.

      A Devoted Flock. — The Text. — Ethnological Proofs. — An Unexpected Interruption.
      — “Out of the Mouths of Babes and Sucklings.” — An Awkward Argument.
      — An Immense Condemnation. 378

    • CXXX. Mr. Nasby does the Cross Roads a Service.
      Peace at the Corners. — Studies. — The Uses of Northerners. — A Discovery. —
      Brother Lee's Experience. — His Conclusion. — Deacon Pogram's Joy. 382

    • CXXXI. An Important Case at the Corners under the Vagrant
      Act — The Decision of Squire Gavitt.

      The Case Stated. — The Trial. — Sudden Adjournment of the Court. — How the
      Negro was made a Vagrant. — Unconstitutional Laws. — The Decision. 387

    • CXXXII. Mr. Nasby is Despatched by the President upon a
      Mission, similar to that of Mr. McCracken.

      The McCracken Mission. — A Dirty Business. — An Anecdote. — Discovers the
      Causes of Defeat. — New York Postmasters round. — In Ohio. — The Disguised
      Nobleman. — His Success. — An Affecting Incident. — Discomforts of Travel. 391

    • CXXXIII. Mr. Nasby's Board Commences the Compilation of
      a Series of School Books for the, “Institoot.”

      That Corner-Stone. — The Proposed Series. — Some Examples. — Joe Bigler interferes.
      — And makes Trouble. — His Examples. — Recommends their Adoption
      emphatically 395

    • CXXXIV. Mr. Nasby desires Confirmation — Is Advised How
      to Proceed by the President, but Rejects the Proposition with
      Scorn.

      Reflections. — His former Visit to Washington. — Willard's. — The President's
      Dodge. — The Letter. — A Satisfactory Explanation. — A Spasm of Faithfulness
      399

    • CXXXV. Mr. Nasby takes a Retrospective View.
      The Military Law. — Grecian Strategy. — An Organ Backslides. — Discouraged. 404

    • CXXXVI. Mr. Nasby, in Imitation of Wade Hampton, tries to
      Conciliate the African.

      An Official Order. — Which was promptly obeyed. — Buying Negroes. — A Stirring
      Speech. — The Universal Brotherhood. — A Spoiled Scene. — The Minutes
      not preserved. — Want of Capital. — Joe Bigler's Advice 408


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    • CXXXVII. The Connecticut Election.
      Sensation at the Corners. — The Deacon Electioneering. — A Sudden Change. —
      A Cabinet Jollification. — Carnival at the White House. — The Removal of the
      Institute. — A Demoralized Yankee. — Nasby's Prospects. — The Normal Condition.
      412

    • CXXXVIII. The Russian Purchase.
      Origin of the Idea. — A Dangerous Position. — Nasby's Suggestion. — Testimonials
      to the Value of the Country. — From a Naval Officer. — Furs. — Professions.
      — The Isothermal Line. — Seward's Enthusiasm. — The Real Point. —
      Nasby's Opinion. — The Assignments. 417

    • CXXXIX. A Slight Alteration in the Name and Policy of Mr.
      Nasby's “Institoot.”

      A Meeting of the Faculty. — Ham and Japheth. — Bascom's Resolutions. — Why
      Offered. — The Deacon's Doubt. — Removed by Bascom. 422

    • CXL. Mr. Nasby Preaches a Sermon, the Effect of which is
      Destroyed by Northern Papers.

      Trouble with the Niggers. — A Mixed Congregation. — The Sermon itself. — The
      Scene after Service. — Spoiled the Next Day. — The Northern Papers. — Reproaches
      the Brethren at the North. 426

    • CXLI. The Decease of Elder Gavitt.
      The Fallen Pillar. — Birth and Education. — He didn't Read. — Why? — A Steadfast
      Democrat. — The Cause of his Death. — The Sad Event. — The Funeral.
      — Ends with a Row. — Contributions for the Monument. 430

    • CXLII. Triumphal Progress of J. Davis from Fortress Monroe
      to Richmond.

      Release of Jefferson Davis. — Generous Magnanimity. — The Perfect Arrangements.
      — Sympathy. — The Conference. — His Grief. — Scene in the Court
      House. — Out on Bail. — His Plans. 435

    • CXLIII. An Account of the Trip to Raleigh.
      The Discussion in the Cabinet. — Seward Approves the Trip. — Randall opposes
      it. — The Determination. — Affecting Demonstrations of Popular Favor. — The
      President's Speech. — The Penniless Boy. — The Monument. — Affecting
      Scene. — The Tableau. 437

    • CXLIV. The Boston Excursion.
      Randall's Opinion. — Prospects of a Successful and Delightful Tour. — Decides to
      go. — In New York. — A Massachusetts Governor. — His Welcome. — The
      President's Reply. — A Precautionary Measure. — The Boston Way of doing it. 445

    • CXLV. Mr. Nasby Dreams a Dream.
      Inquiries from the South. — The Dying Giant. — The Heavy Load. — The Catastrophe.
      — Interpretation and Moral. 450

    • CXLVI. The Negro Question — The Change.
      Too many Reasons. — A Simple Proposition. — Religion vs. Politics. — A Hard
      Point. — A Test Case. — Astrological Examination. — A Mathematical Demonstration.
      — The Intellectual Difference. — Too much Investigation. — Too many
      Facts. — Terrible Result. 453

    • CXLVII. A Consultation at the Corners, followed by a Dream.
      Conferring Degrees. — The Next President. — The Dream. — Disguising the Lion.
      — And his Death. — The Interpretation. — Nasby Approves the Nomination. 459

    • CXLVIII. An Amnesty Proclamation.
      A Familiar Consultation. — The President's Confidence. — Letters. — The President's
      Strategy. — The Proclamation decided on. — Nasby Delighted. 463

    • CXLIX. Mr. Nasby in a Democratic County in Southern Ohio.
      The Inducement. — A Description of the Town. — An Excited Populace. —
      Taxes. — Painful Experience. — Friends Moving. — The Speech. — The Peroration.
      — An Unpleasant Denouement. 468


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    • CL. The Antietam Dedication.
      At Washington. — The Cabinet. — Making an Address. — Corrections. — The
      Speech Completed. — An Objection overruled 472

    • CLI. Mr. Nasby Assists in the Ohio Election — The Defeat of
      the Amendment.

      The Preparations. — The Parades. — Anti-Negro Feeling. — Deep Feeling in the
      Community. — Intelligence. — The Effect in Kentucky. — Meeting at the Cross
      Roads. — The Faculty of the Institute determine to Revise the Scriptures. —
      The Word “White.” 476

    • CLII. A Meeting at the Corners.
      Cogitation over the Elections. — The Regular Speech. — And the Regular Interruption.
      — Diluted Capital. — Illustrations. — The Troubled Sisters. — Sudden
      Adjournment 481

    • CLIII. The November Election.
      Joy at the Corners. — A Picture. — The Meeting. — Deacon Pogram's Claim. —
      Other Claims. — The Discussion. — An Effort and a Failure. 485

    • CLIV. Mr. Nasby Regulates a School.
      Written under Happy Circumstances. — The Disturber, Lett. — Trouble in the
      School. — The Expulsion. — The Morey Girls. — Recuperation 490

    • CLV. The Alabama Convention — The Woes of John Guttle, Jr.
      A Fearful Night. — A Chip of the Old Block. — A Disconsolate Crowd. — The
      Troubles of Guttle. — The Convention. — Who were there. — Ruin ahead 494

    • CLVI. A Convention of Sufferers.
      Nasby's Letter. — His Sufferings. — A Brief History. — His Tableau in Canada. —
      Sufferings of a Saint. — And the Reward. 498

    • CLVII. The Decease of Elder Pennibacker.
      Moral Reflections. — Nasby does not Waste Strength. — A Fallen Pillar. — Sketch
      of his Life. — His Many Virtues. — Was an Inventor. — A Dilemma. — The
      Last Illness. — A Happy Death. — A General Disappointment. 502

    • CLVIII. The Pendleton Theory in Kentucky.
      Silence at the Corners accounted for. — Mr. Bigler's Grief. — The Theory not
      Original. — How the Old Thing Works. — Unexpected Result. — Bascom's Triumph.
      — The Peace-Makers. — Peace Restored. 505

    • CLIX. The Impeachment Matter.
      At Washington. — Letter from Belmont. — Letter from Pierce. — Other Letters.
      — Mr. Randall's Conclusion. 509

    • CLX. Pollock vs. Bigler.
      Excitement at the Corners. — The Trouble Increases. — Two Large Families. —
      The Terrible Examination. — Trouble among the Deacons. — The Reconciliation
      513

    • CLXI. Sergeant Bates in Pettusville, Virginia.
      The Procession. — Reception Speech. — A Discourse on the Flag. — Concluding
      Ceremonies 518

    • CLXII. A Convention at the Corners.
      Former Mode of Argument. — Joe Bigler interferes with the County Convention.
      — The Discussion of his Rights. — Resolutions, Regular and Irregular. — Bigler's
      Resolutions. — Posterity. — Meaning of the Term. — The Convention Dissolved
      522

    • CLXIII. The Preparation of the Martyr for the Coming Event.
      Mrs. Cobb's Adieu. — Her Circumstances. — The President's Simple Wants. —
      His Determination. — What his Friends say. 525

    • CLXIV. The Impeachment Failure — The Feeling at the White
      House.

      Great Excitement. — Despatches from Friends. — The Coolness of Randall. — A
      Dream. — A Race. — Stripping the Racers. — The Start 528


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    • CLXV. The Chicago Convention — Mr. Nasby gets on a Heavy
      Disgust.

      In the Wrong Pew. — Hospitality of the Various Delegations. — Insult to Kentucky.
      — A Judicious Pause. — A Short Discourse on Democracy. — The Great
      Idea 533

    • CLXVI. The Democratic Candidate for the Presidency.
      Mr. Nasby's Nominee. — Why? — Jethro L. Kippens. — Is Geographically Level.
      — Nobody knows him. — Happy Position on the War Question. — Has the Elements
      of Popularity. — Other Qualifications. — Is National in his Views 537

    • CLXVII. Mr. Nasby a Delegate to New York.
      On the Way to New York. — Assaults a Nigger. — His Success. — Finds him a
      Delegate. — Resolutions. — Determined to be Suited 540

    • CLXVIII. A Futile Attempt to Ratify the Nominations at the
      Corners.

      The Decorations. — A Good Beginning. — Trouble. — Excited Discussion. — Nasby's
      Safety. — The Terrible Ending 544

    • CLXIX. The Presidential Election.
      Bad News. — The Election of Grant. — Fate. — The Dark Future. — Mr. Bigler's
      Advice to the Deacon. — A Prophecy 548

    • CLXX. Mr. Nasby goes to New York, and establishes himself
      in Business.

      A Change of Base. — The Outfit. — His Friends Encourage Him. — Indulges in a
      Dream. — His Sign. — The Opening. — Nasby Treats the Crowd, and is a Popular
      Man. — The Opening too Gorgeous. — The Awakening and Ending 551

    • CLXXI. Mr. Nasby and his Friends Consider the Question of
      Bread and Butter.

      A Discussion. — He Proposes to Settle Somewhere. — Distance an Object. — To
      his Friends. — Joe Bigler's Suggestions. — The Life of an Organ Grinder. —
      Objections. — His Friends force Assistance on Him. — An Obstacle 555

    • CLXXII. Mr. Nasby Finds a New Business, which Promises
      Ample Profits.

      A Light. — A Prosperous Beginning. — His First Clients. — The Claim. — What is
      Loyalty? — A History of the Claims. — How it Was. — Another Outrage. —
      Numerous Claims at the Corners 558

    • CLXXIII. The Last Outrage upon Kentucky — Passage of the
      Constitutional Amendment by the House.

      Nasby's Influence on the Right Side. — A Pleasant Picture. — Effect of the Outrage
      on the Corners. — How it Was. — Majesty of the Law. — How it Will be.
      — Practice in Justice Pennibacker's Court. — A Weak Point in the Amendment.
      — The Only Hope 561

    • CLXXIV. The Last Cabinet Meeting — The End of the Johnson
      Reign.

      The Contrast. — A Moist Administration. — The Calm President. — His Last
      Acts. — The Leave Taken. — The Cabinet. — What will Become of Randall. —
      What the Rest will do. — The Magnanimous Johnson. 565

    • CLXXV. Mr. Nasby Witnesses a Procession of the Sons of Erin.
      The Enthusiasm. — A Dream. — The Banquet. — St. Gumbo. — Letters of Regret.
      — Mr. Nasby Regrets that he was not a Negro. 570

    • CLXXVI. The Corners Outraged.
      A Crowning Disgrace. — A Nigger Assessor. — A Peculiarly Aggravating Case. —
      The Power he Wielded. — And How He Did it. — A Rich Assessor. — A Blind
      Government 574

    • CLXXVII. The Corners Have a Discussion as to the Matter of
      Carpet-Baggers.

      The Corners. — Alarm — A Meeting. — Speech of the Champion. — Free Discussion.
      — Joe Bigler's Speech. — The True Carpet-Bagger. — The Resolutions. —
      An Unexpected Turn. — A Light. — The Distinction. — A Definition 578


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    • CLXXVIII. Mr. Nasby Nurses the Labor Movement at the
      Corners.

      Enthusiastic Meeting. — The Protest. — The Negro Plasterer. — His Insolence. —
      Changes his Trade. — His Fate. — Nasby Proposes to Lead the Anti-Negro
      Movement. 582

    • CLXXIX. Mr. Nasby and his Confreres hold a Commercial
      Convention at the Corners.

      The Delegates and Officers. — The Letters of Regret. — A Resolution. — Black
      Sheep. — The Work Done. — Women at the Corners. — A Singular Omission. —
      The Convention Re-assembled. — Resolutions Passed. 585

    • CLXXX. Mr. Nasby at last Loses his Post Office.
      Out of Office. — The Corners in Mourning. — A Small but Talented Procession. —
      The Negroes Up. — The Whites Down. — Trouble. — Nasby's Bondsmen. — Despair.
      — What he Proposes to do. 590

    • CLXXXI. Mr. Nasby Receives a Letter from his Steadfast
      Friend.

      In Ohio. — A Letter from Home. — The Surroundings at Pepper's. — A Mine Discovered.
      — Trouble in Kentucky. — Affectionate Remembrance of Nasby at the
      Corners. — The Lack of Labor. — Bloated Bondholders. — The Bond Question.
      — How it was met. — Joe Bigler steps in. — Consistency. 594

    • CLXXXII. Mr. Nasby attends a Convocation of the Democracy
      of New York.

      The Officers. — Resolutions. — What they Wanted. — The Debate. — The American
      Consul at New York. 600

    • CLXXXIII. Settled at last — The City of New York to be his
      Final Resting-Place.

      The Dove. — The Harp of Erin. — He Serves the Party Best who Votes the Most.
      — A Successful Opening. — Precautionary Measure. — Speeches and Toasts. 602

    • CLXXXIV. Mr. Nasby Gives a Brief Account of his New Establishment.

      The Trade. — Bad Company. — Terrence O'Sullivan. — Holds Office. — A Soft
      Thing. — Mr. O'Sullivan's Brother. — They Visit Sing-Sing. — Remonstrate
      with the Warden. — O'Sullivan's Determination. — Mr. Nasby Consoles and
      Encourages. — A Ray of Light. — Protection of the Democracy. 605

    • CLXXXV. The Friends of Mr. Nasby hold a Meeting, and indulge
      in a Wail over the Passage of the Fifteenth Amendment
      by the Ohio Legislature.

      Meeting in the Sixth Ward. — Nasby Chairman. — What was Said. — The Effect
      in New York. — A Revolution. — An Unpleasant Reminder. — Nasby's Plans
      and Prospects. 609

    • CLXXXVI. Mr. Nasby in a Despondent Frame of Mind.
      A Kentucky Conference. — Signs of the Times. — Preamble and Resolutions. —
      A Fearful Squabble. — Disappointment. — Recreant Senators. 612

    • CLXXXVII. The Fifteenth Amendment.
      A Meeting. — Different Views of the Matter. — Resolutions Proposed by Nasby.
      — A New Departure. — Another Set of Resolutions. — The Prompt Action at
      the Harp of Erin. 615

    • CLXXXVIII. Mr. Nasby Attempts to get Possession of the
      Negro Vote.

      After the Ethiopian. — An Ethiopian Secured. — The Second Ethiopian. — At last
      One is Cornered and Prepared. — The Failure. 619

    • CLXXXIX. A Few Last Words — The Writer hereof bids his
      Readers Farewell, and hurls a Trifle of Exhortation after
      them.

      Farewell. — Nasby's Experience Peculiar. — The Nigger Votes. — The Hope of
      Democracy. — Natural Provisions. — Words of Good Cheer. — Farewell. 623


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  • LECTURES.

    • I. “Cussid be Canaan.”
      All Men Free and Equal. — The Fathers of the Democratic Party. — How the
      Declaration Should Read. — Some Criticisms. — On Various Writers and the
      Bible. — Nigger and Negro. — Distinguished by “It” and “Him.” — The Haters
      of Nigger Equality. — Jefferson's Ignorance. — The Affair of Noah. — The
      Flood. — Indiscretion. — The Curse. — A Huge Devil. — Who are White Men?
      — Ham's Apology. — Beginning of Democracy. — A Blessed Curse. — What
      might have been. — How the Curse Didn't Work. — Nimrod. — Weak Spots. —
      More Difficulties. — The Extent of the Curse. — The Question of Color. — The
      Blackness Accounted for. — From the Kentucky Point of View. — From the
      Negro Point. — Matter of Heat. — Has its Advantages. — Location. — Descendants
      of Canaan. — The Tub. — An Ancestry. — Why the Curse was Believed
      in. — Its Convenience. — The Attempt to Kill the Curse. — Missionaries, Miscalled
      Pirates. — The Curse Killed. — The Audacity of the Canaanites. — How
      they Helped in the War. — Their Ingratitude. — Their Privileges at the South.
      — The Curse Abandoned. — Lee's Surrender. — Southern Modesty. — The Negro
      not a Man. — The Bureau of Perfumery. — Ignorance. — The Troubles
      Encountered. — The Beast Theory. — Difficulties of it. — What Becomes of the
      Beast at Death. — The Black Face under a Blue Cap. — The Cowardice of the
      Republicans. — A Philosophical Truth. — How Shall We Dispose of the Negro?
      — The Lion Prejudice. — What to Do. — Negroes in Office. — The People
      should have the Choice. — Man. — The Negro's Rights. — All Men Created
      Equal 629

    • II. The Struggles of a Conservative with the Woman Question.
      A Conservative. — By Birth and Education. — The Ancients. — Woman. — What
      could we have done Without Her. — Her Position in the Past. — A Biblical Statement.
      — Woman has the Advantage from the Start. — Eve. — Adam's Good Traits.
      — A Happy Family. — Intellectual Power. — More Biblical Statements. — How
      the Argument Works the Wrong Way. — Inferiority. — Mrs. Jezebel Ahab. —
      Pocahontas and Delilah. — The Conundrum Maker. — Rebekah. — Promptness.
      — Feminine Thought. — Female Disabilities. — The Woman's Proposition. —
      The Man's Answer. — A System Proposed. — The Troubles. — Every Woman
      should Marry. — Flying in the Face of Providence. — The Question of War. —
      The School Teacher. — The Question of Marriage. — Labor. — The Example of
      Young Men. — A Bit of Experience. — Continued. — What they Demand. —
      And Why. — A Ponderous Protest. — Dr. Bushnell's Reasons. — Peace. —
      What shall we do with it? — Applying the Remedy. — What should be done
      with it? — Customs Overturned. — For Humanity 660

    • III. “In Search of the Man of Sin.”
      The Solo. — Mr. Nasby Mentions Himself. — The Imitation of Washington. —
      The Result. — His Wisdom. — Natural and Acquired. — An Excellent Man. —
      A Friend of Humanity. — And a Patriot. — The Beginning of the Search. —
      Where to Go. — The First Venture. — The Men of Sin in New York. — Requisites
      of a Wicked Man. — A Moral Reflection. — The Influence of the Men. —
      In Washington. — Cadetships. — The Sober Member. — The Extreme Radicals.
      — The Troubled Thompson. — Management in Politics. — Jencks and Reform. —
      The Franking Privilege. — A Conundrum. — The Way to Repeal. — More Conundrums.
      — In New Jersey. — Becomes somewhat Orthodox. — A Monopoly.
      An Anecdote. — How Much He Found. — The Reformers. — Forming a Society.
      — Woman. — His Faith Shaken. — Another Anecdote. — A Sagacious but
      Wicked Young Lady, — Feminine Extravagance. — Return. — What he Finds
      at Home. — Estimating Sin. — Bibney and Mrs. Swan. — Messrs. Bloch and
      Kitt. — Political Sin at Home. — The Pure Cicero. — Searches Himself. — A
      Wife's Faults. — The Reform. — A Closer Investigation. — The Man of Sin
      Known. — Encouraging Remarks to other People 687


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