11. XI.
CAPTURES A TURKEY.
Camp uv the Looisiana Pelicans, }
November the 15th, 1862.
Nasby still lives, though I must say its rayther tite nippin.
The servis uv the Suthrin Confedracy wood be ez pleasent ez
any military life cood be, were it not for three things, to-wit:
1. We hev nothin to eat.
2. Our clothes is designed more for ornament than use, consistin
cheefly uv holes with rags around em — an appropriate
summer costoom, but rayther airy for this season.
3. Our pay is irregular, and not jest ez good in quality ez cood
be wished.
Fer instance. Our regiment hezzent reseevd a cent fer eight
months, and ther wuz much grumblin, wich cum to the ears uv
the kernel.
“The men murmur, do they?” sed he to his adjutent.
“Their complaints is just, and they shel be paid their just
dooze. Is ther a printin offis in the town?”
“Ther is,” retorts the adjutent.
“Go take possession uv it in the name uv the Confedrit
States, and seeze whatever paper he may hev on hand. The
faithful Pelicans must be paid.”
The next day every wun uv the men hed his haversack
stuff with money, each wun takin ez much ez he judged he
cood use. It does very well, except that it gives the grocery-keepers
much trouble, as they take it by weight — a $1 bein
wuth ez much ez a $20, ceptin that the $20 is a trifle the largest,
and weighs more.
An incident. I wuz out on pikkit dooty, in the immejit
visinnity uv a planter's barn, who hed bin suspectid uv Unionism.
I saw a turkey, capchered it, and indulged all the way
into camp into the pleasant idee that, fer the fust time in two
months, I wood hev a stumic-distendin dinner. Ez I entered
camp I met the kernel, who, ez his eagle eye caught the proud
bird I held, spoke, sayin, —
“Ha! a turkey! Wher gottist thow him?”
“I capcherd him at Johnson's,” replied I.
“Fat and young,” mused he, feelin uv him; and then, lookin
up, thus he did say: “My venerable patriot (he allooded to my
gray hairs), this bird belonged to a Union man, and all sich
property taken by the army belongs, uv coarse, to the goverment.
Yoo will forthwith take it to my quarters.”
Not hevin eaten any thing for 18 hours, I determined to
make wun effort for my turkey. Sez I: “Admittin the bird
belongs to the government,” sez I, “I may retane him, I suppose,
by payin his valyoo,” and I tendered him a handful uv
the money we hed reseeved that mornin.
“Not so fast, my aged hero,” sed he. “The government
needs turkeys more than it does money. Money we kin make,
but yoo must be aware that, without a material alterashen in
our anatomikle structure, the makin uv a turkey by us is a impossibility.
Leave the property at my quarters.” * * *
That nite I passed the kernel's quarters. Ther wuz a sound
uv revelry within, and the odor uv a Thanksgivin dinner assailed
my nostrils. The next mornin I saw the kernel's dorg a
chawin the bones uv that government turkey.
