152. CLII.
A MEETING AT THE CORNERS.
Post Offis, Confedrit × Roads }
(wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky),
October 30, 1867.
I wuz a sittin in the Post Offis, a cogitatin over the results
uv the Ohio and Pennsylvany elections, and hopin for an ekally
good report from Noo York, thinkin that ef my hopes wuz
realized, and sich a Constitooshnel Dimokrat ez Seymour shood
be elected, I mite, in considerashun uv my long, and I bleeve
valuable services, aspire to suthin more profitable than a Post
Offis. I do not complain, for the posishen hez bin the means
uv establishin a credit upon wich I hev lived thus far comfortable;
but yet I shood prefer a place where the salary wood
be suffishent to give me enuff so that I cood lay up suthin for
old age.
I felt good over the victory, and it seemed to me ez tho we
ought to speak, ez Kentuckians, to our brethren North, instructin
uv em how to hold the Staits wich they hev won
for us.
I give notis, that the Corners wood assemble at the tootin
uv the horn, for the purpose uv sendin forth the voice uv
Kentucky to the Staits North. The evenin come, and the
entire Corners wuz there. Deekin Pogram wuz in his regler
seat; Issaker Gavitt wuz in his sainted father's place, wich
hez gone hentz. Kernel McPelter wuz there, and also the
others who made up the male population uv the Corners, and
their wives. It wuz a glorious meetin, and I wuz a rubbin my
hands and feelin good at the prospeck uv an improvin occashun,
when, to my utter disgust, I saw the door open, and Joe Bigler,
who wuz born to be my pest, come in, with Pollock, and twenty
or twenty-five niggers, old and young, male and female, white,
yaller, and black, and all uv em took seats together in the
corner uv the church. I knowd by the meek look uv the niggers,
and the eggstreem quietood uv Bigler hisself, that suthin
wuz up, wich wood develop itself. Bigler and Pollock generally
develop.
I opened the meetin by remarkin that “the times wore an
auspishus look. The power uv the nigger in Amerikin politics
hed bin demonstrated. The nigger hed bin so manipulated in
Ohio and Pennsylvany ez to give us these States, which we
cood hold. But the Dimocrisy uv Ohio and Pennsylvany hed
a work to do, wich they cannot neglect with safety. They hed
declared the nigger inferior to the Caucashen, and they must
keep him so. The nigger must be kept jist wher he is, to
serve ez a irritant to Dimocrisy. Ohio gives the niggers uv
that State certain facilities for learnin to reed and write;
accomplishments wich no laborin class wich is to be guided,
controlled, and worked excloosively by a sooperior class, needs
or hez any biznis with. So soon ez a man begins to reed he
begins to hev an inquirin mind, and begins to feel a dissatisfaction
with his speer. Let Ohio repeel these laws to-wunst, that
the niggers may not —”
“Reverse the arrangement,” sed Bigler, “and git to be
sooperior to the white. Is that it, Perfesser?”
“Not eggsackly that,” returned I, not knowin wat he wuz
drivin at, “but ez Hevin ordained the niggers to be inferior
to us, and serve us, it looks rather dangerous to —”
“Give him a chance to rise? That's wat yoor gettin at, I
see. I am a Dimocrat, ez yoo know; but I don't shudder from
that cause — not any. I hev faith in the Lord, wich yoo appear
to lack, wich is strange, considerin yoor profeshun. Ef
my colored friends here wuz ordained by the Almighty to alluz
okkepy an inferior position to us, why, they'll do it anyhow,
onless, indeed, we degrade ourselves below ther level. Ef I
understand yoor idea, it is that the proud Caucashen is the
only favored race wich fixes its own posishen itself, and that
all the other races hed places assigned them, wich Godalmity
hevin fixed, they can't pass. That bein the case, wat's the
yoose, Perfesser, uv our foolin away our time a tryin to
strengthen his laws by any act uv ours? Ef the Almighty
fixed it, kin we do it any better than he?”
“But spos'n the nigger, ef we don't keep him down by law,
shood rise above us?”
“I shood unanimously conclood that ther hed bin a mistake
in the figgers, and that we wuz, after all, the sons uv Ham and
they uv Japheth. How wood yoo like that? But that ain't
wat ails us. There ain't where our danger is. Dimocrisy,
like a man with a tape-worm, carries the elements uv its own
destruckshen. Missegenashun is wat's sappin the foundashuns
uv the party. Agreein with yoo that the nigger's
place is fixed, and that the Dimocrisy coodent git along without
the nigger, I here utter my solemn warning agin the continyooal
lessenin uv the race, becoz that race is our rock, and
onto that we stand. Wat sense is there in wastin our capital,
or ruther dilutin it?”
“Wat do yoo mean?” askt I, not gittin at the drift uv wat
he wuz drivin at.
“Mean! My meanin is plain. The blacker the nigger is,
the further he is below us; the whither he is, the nearer our
ekal he is. In this calculashun we don't take intelligence, or
virchoo, or anything of the kind into account, but perceed
upon the hypothesis that a devilish mean white man is considerable
better than a smart and honest nigger. Therefore, any
drop uv white blood in a nigger's veins makes him just one
drop less objectionable. Look at the specimens wich I hev
brought with me to illustrate my pint. The light-colored niggers
will rise.”
And every cussed one uv em got up, ez ef by majic, and I
saw to-wunst wat he wuz goin for.
“You see, Perfesser, I hev here twenty-two spiled niggers.
Every one uv them ought to hev bin the son or daughter uv
two pure niggers, but they ain't. This one's mother, for
instance,” and he laid his hand upon the shoulder uv a likely
quadroon uv eighteen years, “wuz wunst the property uv
Deekin Pogram, wich circumstance accounts for her hevin the
Pogram nose and general cast uv countenance to an alarmin
degree, and —”
Ther wuz a piercin shreek heard, and Mrs. Pogram was
carried out faintin, and the Deekin turned ez red ez a lobster,
while Bigler, ez solemn ez a judge, went on: —
“This girl wuz wunst the property uv Deekin McGrath,
who is, I notis, here to-nite. Melissy, stand up,” sed he, and a
likely mulatto woman ariz. “You will notis,” sed he, “that
Melissy is rather dark, while her girl, wich yoo see afore yoo,
is a half lighter. The race bleached out considerable on Deekin
McGrath's place. I hev ten or fifteen more, uv various
shades, who hev the McGrath face, but —”
Mrs. Deekin McGrath, utterin a shreek uv rage, swung out
of the church, while the Deekin to-wunst assoomed the color
uv his fellow Deekin, Pogram.
“I mite go on; but wherefore? Yoo all see the pint. I
kin show yoo, in this colleckshun, wich I hev picked up, the
pecoolyer feachers uv the Dingeses, the McPelters, the Bascoms,
and every family around these parts, — that is, the
feechers uv the male members uv em. But sence the emancipashun
I hev notist that this thing hez come to a sudden endin.
I hev notist that sence the niggers hev owned theirselves,
there ain't no more uv this mixter. Yoo purpose, I suppose,
agin redoosin uv em to their normel condishun, and makin uv
em men-servants and maid-servants. Ef this is done, let me
entreet yoo, brethren, to stop the bleechin process. Ef yoo
hev any regard for the Dimocrisy, don't tolerate it no more.
The moment a half-white nigger is born, yoo can't enslave only
half uv him; for only half comes under the cuss, and only half
under the laws agin niggers. That one half keeps down to
the Ham level, but tother sores to the Japhet place in nacher.
Yoo can't whale a mulatto with only half the intensity yoo kin
a clear-blooded nigger; and when they keep bleachin out, and
out, and out, ontil they are almost white, what then? When a
nigger is nine tenths Pogram, and only one tenth nigger, what
then? Kin the Deekin be so deaf to the voice uv nacher —
so bare uv impulse ez to oppress so much Pogram for the sake
uv gettin his foot on so little nigger? I can't beleeve it. Besides,
when it's all run out — when the nigger don't show at all
— then wat is to prevent em from walkin off alone, and settin
up biznis for themselves ez white men? What will become uv
the Dimocrasy then?”
All this time the niggers wuz titterin, and the white women
wuz gaspin for breath, and the men wuz turnin red and white
by turns. I arose to rebuke him, when Bigler remarkt that he
guest enuff hed bin sed, and that probably the meeting hed
better be adjourned. And the audacious cuss give us two
minutes and a half to get out uv the buildin.
Petroleum V. Nasby, P. M.
(wich is Postmaster).
