44. XLIV.
WAILETH.
Church uv the Noo Dispensashun, }
May the 16th, 1864.
To the Churches: A calamity hez befallen us! Lee is
whaled. This afflicshun hez bin sent for sum good purpus.
We hev not bin faithful, and hev bin chastized. O, how we
must hev neglectid our dooties, to hev brot this upon us! Hev
we resistid drafts ez we shood? Hev we bin instant, in season
and out uv season, in killin niggers? Hev we used doo diligense
in mobbin hetrodox Churches? For these and other
short-comins we are now payin. The follerin sam uv hoomiliashen
will be chantid on the second Sunday uv Joon, in all the
Churches in my diocese:—
A WALE!
Lift up yer voices mournfly, O my people!
Howl, O ye saints! howl like unto the hungry wolf and the
disapinted jackal.
Cry out like wun who hath a great pain — like him who suffreth
with belly-ake.
Cast ashes upon yer head, O Fernandywood, and clothe yerself
in sack-cloth.
Hev another colleckshun taken up, O Vallandigum, and pay
yer board a year or two in advance, for yer exel is lengthened.
Weep and wale, and gnash yer teeth, O Dimokrasy, for yoo
hev bin measured, and yer coffin ordered, and the day uv yer
funeral apinted; and lo! the corpse will be ready.
For the biter hez bin bit; yea, the strong man hez bin overcome.
Grant, who wuz to hev bin whipt, wuz not whipt; on the
contrary, quite the reverse.
And Lee, him we sot our harts upon, hez bin beaten, and
grate hez bin the slawter uv his host.
And Beast Butler will take Richmond, and will not be hangd,
ez we prayd.
And the Confedracy will be strangled, and Linkin will be
President, and the offisis will be lost to us forever and forever.
Uv wat avale to us wuz Fort Piller, or Plymouth, or Red
River? Lo! they were but flea-bites on the back uv a giant.
For in Virginny hev we bin chawed up egrejis.
And our week-kneed wuns, them ez wantid peace last month,
hev become blud-thirsty, and hooror for Linkin.
Wale, ye saints!
For we hev chained ourselves to a corpse, and the corpse
stinketh.
Die, O Micklellan, for yoo woodent sell at the rate uv a dollar
a dozen, ef playd-out genrals wuz in demand.
Thou, too, O Vallandigum, for yer marterdum woodent win.
Steel viggerusly, O Fernandywood, for it's yer last chance.
For wen the grate South fiddled did we not alluz dance?
and now that she dieth, shall we not go and do likewise?
† Petroleum.
I am well-nigh distractid! For forty years the Dimekratik
party hez bin to me, literally, vittles and drink. For forty
years hez it bin my pleasin and profitable dooty to lead a Dimekratik
flock, livin luxuriusly off uv the sheerins. My dream is
ore. In a few short months there won't be no Dimokrasy, and
wat then? I ain't adaptid to no other party. Wunst I undertook
to pass myself off ez a Republikin, at wun uv ther convenshuns.
“My jentle frend,” did wun uv them remark, scanning my
gigantik nose, wich is the beauty and glory uv my face, “my
jentle frend, art thou wun uv us?”
“Verily am I,” sez I.
“Well,” sez he, looking at my nose agin, “ef yoo wuz in my
township, and wantid to act with us, I shood require bonds.”
I mite start a grocery, but ef the Dimekratik party expires,
wat'll that biznis be worth?
In my old age am I bereeved.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Paster uv sed Church, in charge.
