149. CXLIX.
MR. NASBY IN A DEMOCRATIC COUNTY IN
SOUTHERN OHIO.
Post Offis, Confedrit × Roads }
(wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky),
September 20, 1867.
Last week I wuz invited to go into Ohio to assist my brethren
uv that State. The Massedonian cry reached me, “Come
and help us!” and ez the cry wuz coupled with the asshoorance
that I shood be pervided for, I heeded it. Couple Massedonian
cries with whiskey, and I can't resist em. I never try.
I knowd there wuzn't much difference atween the Dimocrisy
uv Ohio and Kentucky, but I wuz onprepared for the strikin
resemblance I found. Twins is not more similar. My first
appintment wuz in a purely Dimekratic County. It wuz a
settlement after my own heart, and the minit my practist eye
restid onto it, my sole leaped for joy. It wuz a town wich hed
bin some day the seat uv bizniss, but a ralerode runnin some
nine miles to one side uv it hed cut off its trade, and the
inhabitants hevin nothin to do, the better part uv em went
with the trade. Nacher abhors a vacuum, and there rushed in
sich as found it diffikult to live elsewhere. The whole population,
hevin much leisure, fell to pitchin coppers, wich, to make
the game excitin, they pitched for drinks. Pitchin for drinks
soon rendered em incapable uv more violent exercise; and in
a year from the time the trade left em, it wuz the strongest
and most intense Democratic town in the State. Ez they must
eat suthin, and ez the groseries coodent run perpetooally without
money, they hed occasional spasms uv labor. Then wood
their feelins be lasseratid. Then wood they look over to the
Kentucky shore, and see thousands uv jest sich men ez theirselves
a spendin their lives in one unendin round uv copperpitchin,
hoss-racin, and poker-playin, the nigger meanwhile a
sweatin to furnish the means, and they wood break out into
murmurin at the crooel fate wich cast their lot where every
man wuz forst to sweat for hisself, and the cuss of labor
coodent be filled by proxy. Their proximity to Kentucky
tantalized em. They wood hev all gone there cood they hev
raised enuff to buy a nigger apeece, but they coodent. There
wuz a most deliteful look uv serene repose about the place
wich charmed me. Nothin stood uprite. The sign-post uv the
tavern hed bin leaned agin so much that it hed contracted the
same habit; the hosses, from a too rigid economy in the matter
uv oats, wuz leanin agin the side uv the barns; the shutters
on the groseries hung cornerin across the winders, in consekence
uv the lower hinges bein broke; the clapboards on the
houses all hangin by a single nail at one end, presented any
but a reglar appearance; and the men were all either sittin on
store boxes, or leanin agin watever possessed suffishent strength
to keep em up.
I wuz enthoosiastically reseeved. The town wuz excited on
two questions. 1. Taxation. 2. Nigger Equality. The Cheerman
uv the deputashun wuz the most cheerin style uv Dimokrat
I hed seen for years. His independent hair hed pushed
its way thro the top uv his hat and bristled in all directions,
biddin defiance to the world; his toes protroodin from his
shoes, and his trowsers hangin lop-sided by one suspender,
indicated a sovereign contempt for appearances. He begged
me, with tears streemin down his eyes, to rouse the people
agin the dangers wich threaten em. “Think,” sed he, “uv the
hundreds uv thousands uv millions, wich we, the people, are
forced to pay in taxes to the General Government, and rouse
em to the necessity uv ackshen!”
“I will,” sed I, “I will. State to me the amount uv taxes
paid the tyranikle government in this Arcajen spot, that I may
hev the data from wich to speek.”
“Taxes!” returned this patriot, with an amazed look onto
his countenance, “taxes! We don't pay any taxes here. The
Assessor came here two years ago, and findin nothin to assess,
hezn't considered it worth while to come since. But, good
Lord, our hearts bleeds for these unfortunit victims uv Ablishn
policy wich hev suthin, and is forced to pay onto it! The
people is bein ground into dust by taxashen.” And the old
man wept bitter tears at the miseries uv the sitooashen uv the
people. What tetchin benevolence!
On the question uv nigger ekality, I found em at a most
deliteful heat. They hed seen the terrors uv it, and know'd
whereof they spoke. Niggers hed come from Kentucky across
the river to em, and instid uv acceptin their normal speer, and
yieldin quietly to the irresistible decrees uv Heven, wich
made em the inferiors uv the white, they hed, the moment they
accumulatid suthin to live on, assoomed the airs uv ekality.
They refoosed to keep their places. The Cheerman remarkt,
ez showin the stubborn cussidness uv the race, that one uv
em lived some months next to him. He (the Cheerman) borrered
pork on sevral occashens uv him, twict a bakin uv flour,
and, on one occashen, nine dollars uv the misrable rags wich
we are forst, by a tyranikle Government, to accept ez money.
That nigger hed the soopreme impudence to insist on bein
pade! and even talked uv sooin for it. But, on consultin a
lawyer, he didn't, owin to the oncertainty ez to who wood hev
to pay the costs. Another instance. “A nigger, wich wuz
neerly white, settled in the visinity. He hed not only a
daughter, but a farm. My son sores. Labor he despises, as a
occupashen only fit for serfs. He proposed to woo this nigger's
daughter. It wuz a struggle with me. My son marryin
a female wich hed the accursed blood uv Ham in her vanes!
But Jimuel, my son, sir, threw dirt in my eyes. About sixty
akers uv dirt. I thot uv the pleasant time I cood hev a livin
on that farm — uv the days devoid uv labor, and the evenins
filled with ease, and after a severe ethnologikle struggle with
my feelins, I consented. I wantid to take keer uv that nigger.
Pityin him ez an inferior bein, loaded, in his abnormal condishen,
with responsibilities wich he cood not be expected to discharge,
I wood hev taken charge uv his affares. I wood — my
son Jimuel and I — hev managed his farm, and his stock, and
sich. Alas! Jimuel menshund the matter to the Ethiopian,
sir, and with wat result? He wuz ignominiously kickt out uv
the house, sir. He wuz d—d, sir, for a drunken broot, by a
nigger, wich threatened, ef he ever showed his pimpled —
pimpled wuz the word — face about there agin, he'd break
every bone in his body. Sir, this is becomin unsupportable.
They must be dragged down to our level. My proud Caucashen
blood revolts. There must be a inferior race, and it's
us or the nigger. The Injen is out uv the question, ez there
ain't any uv them here to be inferior. I woodent mind the
Injen, but there ain't none. It's the nigger or nothin. Give
him the ballot, sir, and what'll distinguish us? Speek with a
angel's tongue onto this theme, I beg.”
The meetin wuz a glorious one, and my speech one uv my
most movin efforts. My perorashen moved me to teers. It
wuz on nigger suffrage. Depictin its untold horrors, I begged
em to organize — to rally wunst more agin this common enemy.
“There is,” sed I, “seven thousand nigger males in the State
uv Ohio. Shel we peril the liberties uv the State by permittin
them to approach the ark uv our safety — the ballot-box?
Shel we raise em to the pint uv bein our ekals? Shel we
marry em and give em in marriage? Shel we contaminate the
pure streem uv Anglo-Saxon blood by muddlin it with the
turbid streem uv Ethiopy?”
I finisht my speech there. The meetin then resolved they
wuz better than niggers; that they never wood consent to be
taxed for the benefit uv purse-proud aristocrats; that the
bonds shood be taken up with greenbax; that there shood be
a return to specie payment to-wunst; and that they were
willin to give millions, ef need be, to resist usurpashen, but
not one cent in taxes in a unconstitooshnel manner.
This resolooshn wuz passed, when a colleckshn wuz taken
up to pay for the candles. But, alas! There wuzn't nary a
cent in the house, and I hed to pay for em myself. Another
little incident didn't please me. The State Central Committee
hed furnisht me, ez it does all its speakers, with a twenty
dollar gold piece and a fifty dollar bond, wich I wuz to exhibit,
to show the difference atween Ablishn and Democratic money.
I shoved em at the people, and it excited em to madnis. I
laid em on the table afore me. When the meetin wuz adjourned
they wuz gone! Who took em? I know not, but this
I do know, that the Cheerman uv the meetin hed, next mornin,
a new pair uv shoes and a hat, and wuz a talkin doubtfully uv
the propriety uv taxin bonds. I go from here to Pennsylvania,
to fill some appintments in that State.
Petroleum V. Nasby, P. M.
(wich is Postmaster).
