179. CLXXIX.
MR. NASBY AND HIS CONFRERES HOLD A COMMERCIAL
CONVENTION AT THE CORNERS.
Post Offis, Confedrit × Roads }
(wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky),
June 3, 1869.
Confedrit × Roads cannot be said to be, in the Northern
sense of the term, a prosperous town. The fact is, its railroad
facilities are not uv the best, the nearest one to us bein some
twelve miles away, and its other roads are not so gorgious ez
cood be desired. They are passable for wagons in Joon, July,
and August; for mules in April, May, September, and October;
and the balance uv the time they mite possibly be navigated
by flat boats, ef the citizens hed anything in pertikeler to
leave the town for, or ef anybody pertikelerly desired to come
to it.
The citizens, now that they are onct agin in full akkord with
the General Government, and bein thoroughly reconstructid,
felt that they hed borne neglect uv their interests in silence
ez long ez they cood be expected uv the impetuous Southern
nacher; and also, that the time hed come when the leadin cities
uv the South shood make some effort to avail themselves uv
the nateral advantages uv their position, and wrest from the
North the full share uv the trade uv the Continent, to which
they are entitled. We uv the Cross Roads felt that we hed
too long acceptid a second rate commershel posishen, and we
felt that we cood not endoor it longer. It wuz therefore resolved
to hold a commershel convenshen at the Cross Roads,
to take these matters into considerashen, with sich others as
mite suggest therselves.
Invitashens wuz sent to all the principal leaders uv the
Southern masses, and uv em it wuz confidently expected that
Breckinridge, Lee, and Boregard wood be present.
The convenshen assembled on the day sot. It was one uv
the largest and most enthoosiastic it hez ever been my lot to
attend. There was delegates present from Secessionville,
Davistown, Boregard, and all the towns in that section uv the
State, representin the intelligence and wealth uv the real old
Kentucky stock uv those localities.
General McDingus, late C. S. A., uv Secessionville, wuz made
President, with thirty-two Vice Presidents, wich comprised all
the delegates present. This wuz done, ez all uv em seemed to
want to be officers.
General McDingus stated the object uv the convenshen to be
the devisin uv means to increase the commercial importance
of the section, to develop her resources, to increase her manufakterin
interests, and to show the recooperative power the
South possesses. Kentucky wants manufakters, Kentucky
wants populashen, and to devise means uv gittin these is the
objick uv our assemblin. He begged the members to commence
to-wunst.
Kernel McPelter, from the Committee on Invitashens, wuz
about to perceed to read letters he hed received from prominent
Southerners, when Captain Podgers, of Davistown, begged
leave to offer a resolooshen. He saw sittin in the convenshen,
with ez much ashoorence ez tho he hed a rite there, a wretch,
with whose name he woodent sully his mouth, who hed come
from Massychoo — no, he woodent sully his mouth with the name
uv that State — from a ablishn State, and hed startid in Davistown
a factory for makin pig iron! employin therein thirty-five
men, which hed bot a plantashen uv a distrest planter, and put
thereon twenty houses, a skool-house, and a church! He stigmatized
this man ez a carpet-bagger. He hed been repeetedly
warned by the citizens uv Davistown to leave, but he hed lafft
at the warnin. On threatenin his factory, he hed armed his
operatives with double-barrelled shot guns, and with those hed
held the citizens at bay. This man hez strength enuff to keep
up his factry, but he shel not sit in convenshen with Southern
gentlemen.
Major Bangum remarkt that at Boregard they hed a different
way uv meetin these difficulties. A carpet-bagger from Pennsylvany
undertook to start a store at Boregard, but we nipt it
in the bud at the beginnin. We gave him twenty-four hours
to leave, and he left. Hed Captain Podgers commenst in time,
afore the evil took root, it cood hev bin eradicated.
Deekin Pogram statid that an attempt hed bin made to plant
a cotton factry on a water-power at Confedrit × Roads, and
give in detail the method adoptid to prevent it, both speeches
bein receeved with cheers, which showd that the Southern
heart wuz still ez Southern ez ever.
Captain Podgers offered the followin resolooshen: —
Resolved, That all carpet-baggers be requested to leave the
Hall doorin the session uv the Convenshen.
It was carried with loud applause, after which Captain McPelter
read the letters he hed received, or rather passed over
em to me to read, ez I do the most uv it for the Corners.
Jefferson Davis — President Davis, I exclaimed, ez I kist
the letter — regretted that he could not be present. His heart
still beats for the Sunny South —
I cood get no further with the readin uv this epistle. The
most enthusiastic and vociferous cheers it hez ever bin my lot
to hear broke from the throng in the buildin, Captain McPelter
endin with the genooine Southern chargin yell, at wich the
niggers in the vicinity uv the buildin grew pale and took to
the woods. They'd heard it before, and not bein advised that
the meetin wuz purely a Commershal Convenshen, they wuz
seriously affrighted.
General Boregard regretted that he cood not be present,
but —
Agin I wuz interruptid by cheers, wich made the very roof
shake, and the members uv the Convenshen threw up their
hats to an extent wich fairly darkened the air.
Letters wuz attempted to be read from other noted leaders
uv the South in the late unpleasantnis with the vandals uv
subjugatin States, but at the menshen uv each uv their names
the cheerin wuz so extraordinarily vociferous ez to prevent
anything bein heard.
At this pint, while the enthusiasm wuz at its highest pitch,
Deekin Pogram riz, and remarkt that Confedrit × Roads wuz,
he wuz aware, painfully defishent in many things. They hed
but one store, and that wuz run by a despicable carpet-bagger,
and Bascom's whiskey wuz not alluz uv the best; but one thing
she could boast uv, namely, her wimmen. “Stand up, Mirandy!”
he remarkt to that gushin damsel; “and the others
in the gallery may ez well rise likewise,” wich they all did,
wavin Confedrit flags, and bustin out into that ever-inspirin
anthem, “The Bonny Blood Flag.” “There,” remarkt the
Deekin, “there is our jewels. Three cheers for our daughters!”
The effeck uv this was somewhat spiled by a dozen or more
quadroons, risin with Mirandy and the rest uv em! That ojus,
demoralizin villin, Joe Bigler, who delites in spilin tetchin
tabloos, hed em snug in the gallery all the time, and he sprung
em onto us thus crooelly!
General Belter, uv Boregard, offered a resolooshen denouncin
the reconstruckshen measures, President Grant and his Cabinet,
the oppressive Nashnel debt, carpet-baggers, and the
Republican party; Major Flair offered one, implorin the
Northern Dimocracy to stand firm agin the constooshnel
amendment; Captain McPelter one, insistin on the revokashen
uv all laws bearin onto those who had served on the side uv
State rites doorin the recent collision uv States; all of wich
was adopted enthoosiastically, when the convenshen adjourned,
sine die.
The delegates, congratulatin each other on the noble work
that hed bin done for the South that day, took a partin drink at
Bascom's at the expense uv our citizens, wich Bascom wood
not set it out till some responsible citizen, wich hed land with
not more than two mortgages on, wood make hisself responsible
for em, and wuz a gittin into the wagons to dust out to their
respective homes, when one uv em remarkt —
“We've forgot one thing!”
“No we hevint,” remarkt General Dingus. “We've done
every thing that's yoosual at Southern commercial convenshens.
We've cheered for Davis and Boregard; we've admired the
women, denounst the ablishen party, and demanded our rites
— wat more wuz there to do?”
“We haint sed a cussid word about commerce.”
“Thunder!” remarkt the General, “it's a fact. D—d ef it
didn't slip my memry entirely. We must assemble agin.”
And the meetin was again convened.
The work was accomplished in short order. Resolooshens
wuz passed demandin the buildin uv a railroad by the ginral
Government from Davistown to Secessionville, and four different
lines uv road to the Pacific, with branches endin at Confedrit
× Roads, Secessionville, Davistown, Boregard, and sich
other towns ez mite consider it to their interest to hev em.
In addition to these it wuz demandid that dredges be taken
from the harbors on Lake Erie and other Northern waters, and
kept twelve months in the year at work in Camp Run to keep
it navigable to the Ohio river for boats uv all classes. A resolooshen
wuz offered demandin uv the Government the buildin
of a levee around Deekin Pogram's farm, a part uv wich is
frekently overflowed in the spring and fall, and also the gravlin
or plankin uv the roads in the county, but it wuz considered
best to withdraw these, ez they didn't feel like askin too much
to-wunst. Other resolooshens wuz passed, demandin recompense
for the loss uv niggers, and property destroyed doorin
the war, in order that there might be that harmony so much
to be desired between the Government and Kentucky, and the
meetin adjourned, this time for keeps. Ef these acts uv justis
is done, well and good; ef not, Kentucky protests. The Convenshen
hez hopes uv results follerin its ackshen.
Petroleum V. Nasby, P. M.
(wich is Postmaster).
