87. LXXXVII.
AFTER THE NEW JERSEY ELECTION, 1865.
Saint's Rest (wich is in the Stait uv Noo Jersey), }
November 9, 1865.
[1]
Never wuz I in so pleasant a frame uv mind ez last night.
All wuz peace with me, for after bein buffeted about the world
for three skore years, at last it seemed to me ez tho forchune,
tired uv persekootin a unforchnit bein, hed taken me into favor.
I hed a solemn promise from the Dimekratic State Central
Committy in the great State uv Noo Jersey, that ez soon ez
our candidate for Governor wuz dooly elected, I shood hev the
position uv Doorkeeper to the House uv the Lord (wich in this
State means the Capital, and wich is certainly better than
dwellin in the tents uv wicked grosery keepers, on tick, ez I
do), and a joodishus exhibition uv this promise hed prokoored
for me unlimited facilities for borrerin, wich I improved.
On Wednesday nite I wuz a sittin in my room, a enjoyin the
pleasin reflection that in a few days I should be placed above
want and beyond the contingencies uv fortune. Wood! oh,
wood! that I hed died then and there, before that dream uv
bliss wuz roodly broken. A wicked boy come runnin past with
a paper which he hed brot from the next town where there
lives a man who takes one. He flung it thro the window to
me and passed on. I opened it eagerly, and glanced at the
hed lines!
“Noo Jersey — 5,000 Republikin!”
One long and piercin shreek wuz heard thro that house, and
wen the inmates rushed into the room they found me inanimate
on the floor. The fatal paper lay near me, explainin the cause
uv the catastrophe. The kind-hearted landlord, after feelin uv
my pockets and diskiverin that the contents thereof wood not
pay the arrearages uv board, held a hurried consultation with
his wife as to the propriety uv bringin me to; he insisting that
it wuz the only chance uv gittin what wuz owin them — she
insistin ef I wuz brung to I'd go on runnin up the bill, bigger
and bigger, and never pay at last. While they wuz argooin
the matter, pro and con, I happened to git a good smell uv his
breath, wich restored me to consciousness to-wunst, without
further assistance.
When in trouble my poetic sole alluz finds vent in song.
Did ever poet who delited in tombs, and dark, rollin streams,
and consumption, and blighted hopes, and decay, and sich
themes, ever hev sich a pick of subjects ez I hev at this time?
The follerin may be a consolation to the few Dimokrats uv the
North who hev gone so far into Copperheadism that they can't
change their base: —
A Wale!
In the mornin we go forth rejoicin in our strength — in the
evenin we are bustid and wilt!
Man born uv woman (and most men are) is uv few days, and
them is so full uv trouble that it's scarcely worth while bein
born at all.
In October I waded in woe knee-deep, and now the waters
uv afflickshun are about my chin.
I look to the East, and Massachoosets rolls in Ablishn.
To the West I turn my eyes, and Wisconsin, and Minnesota,
and Illinoy ansers — Ablishn.
Southward I turn my implorin gaze, and Maryland sends
greetin — Ablishn.
In New York we had em, for lo! we run a soljer, who fought
valiantly, and we put him on a platform, wich stunk with nigger
— yea, the savor thereof wuz louder than the Ablishn platform
itself.
But behold! the people jeer and flout, and say “The platform
stinketh loud enough, but the smell thereof is not the smell uv
the Afrikin — it is of the rotten material uv wich it is composed,
and the corrupshun they hev placed upon it,” — and
New York goes Ablishun.
Slocum held hisself up, and sed, “Come and buy.” And
our folks bought him and his tribe, but he getteth not his
price.
Noo Jersey — Ablishun!!
Job's cattle wuz slain by murrain, and holler horn, and sich,
and, not livin near Noo York, the flesh thereof he cood
not sell.
But Job hed suthin left — still cood he sell the hides and
tallow!
Lazarus hed sores, but he hed dorgs to lick them.
Noo Jersey wuz the hide and tallow uv the Dimocrisy, and
lo! that is gone.
What little is left uv the Dimocrisy is all sore, but where is
the dorg so low ez to lick it?
Noo Jersey wuz our ewe lamb — lo! the strong hand uv
Ablishnism hez taken it.
Noo Jersey wuz the Aryrat on which our ark rested — behold!
the dark waves uv Ablishnism hev swept over it!
Darkness falls over me like a pall — the shadder uv woe
encompasseth me.
Down my furrowed cheeks rolleth the tears uv anguish,
varyin in size from a large pea to a small tater.
Noo Jersey will vote for the Constooshnel Amendment, and
lo! the Nigger will possess the land.
I see horrid visions!
On the Camden and Amboy, nigger brakesmen! and at the
polls, niggers!
Where shall we find refuge?
In the North? Lo! it is barred agin us by Ablishnism.
In the South? In their eyes the Northern Copperhead
findeth no favor.
In Mexico? There is war there, and we might be drafted.
Who will deliver us? Who will pluck us from the pit into
wich we hev fallen?
Where I shel go the Lord only knows, but my impression is,
South Carliny will be my future home. Wade Hampton is
elected Governor, certin, and in that noble State, one may
perhaps preserve enough uv the old Dimokratic States Rites
to leaven the whole lump.
“I'm aflote — I'm aflote
On the dark rollin sea.”
And into what harbor fate will drive my weather-beaten bark,
the undersigned can not trooly say.
Noo Jersey — farewell! The world may stand it a year or
two, but I doubt it.
Mournfly and sadly,
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo Dispensashun.
