University of Virginia Library

108. CVIII.
TURNS A MEETING, CALLED TO INDORSE GENERAL
ROSSEAU, TO ACCOUNT.

[1] There wuz joy at the Corners when the Postmaster (who
takes the only paper wich comes to the office, ceptin a few wich
comes to some demoralized niggers who hev learned to read,
and the officers uv the Freedmen's Burow here) read to the
crowd the news uv the canin wich Rosso, wich is uv Kentucky,
give Grinnell. It sent a thrill uv joy through the State, wich
ain't done thrillin yet. Bustin out into nine hearty cheers, we
to-wunst organized a meetin for the purpose uv expressin our
feelins on the momentous occasion. The bell wuz rung, the
people gathered together, and I wuz elected Chairman (they
alluz elect me to preside becoz I'm bald-headed; they think
bald heads and dignity is inseparable), and Deekin Pogram
Secretary, with 36 Vice-Presidents — one for each State. I
made a short speech on takin the chair, congratulatin em on
the auspicious event wich called us together. Whereupon a
Committee on Resolutions wuz appinted, wich, after a short
absence, reported ez follows: —

Whereas, Genral Rosso, a native-born Kentuckian, and therefore
a gentleman, hevin got into a argument with a Iowa sheep-breeder;
and,

Whereas, hevin got the wust uv the argument, he dextrously
turned it into blackguardin; and,

Whereas, hevin got the wust uv the blackguardin, he remembered
the ancient usages uv the chivalrous sons uv the South,
and caned him; therefore, be it

Resolved, That we, the Dimocrisy uv Confedrit × Roads,
wich is in the State uv Kentucky, hereby thank General Rosso
for his manly vindication uv the character uv Kentucky.

Resolved, That we know not wich to admire the most; the
dashin Gineral's courage in bravin the public sentiment uv the
North, or his prudence in selectin the smallest and physically
weakest man in the House to demonstrate onto.

Resolved, That ez Thad Stevens is 70 years of age, and lame,
and hardly recovered from his fit uv sickness, we suggest that
our beloved hero commence a argument with him, feelin that
so far ez the argument and blackguardin goes the result will
be the same, only so much more so ez to give him a good excuse
for killin him, wich wood be doin the South a servis
indeed.

Resolved, That the Dimocrisy uv Kentucky hevent felt so
good sence the Memphis riots.

Resolved, That this manly act uv Gineral Rosso's makes up
and compensates the South for the outrage he inflicted onto
her when he jined the vandal host wich devastated her soil,
and that hereafter he shel be receeved with just the same cordiality
ez though he had gone into the Confedrit instid uv the
Federal servis.

Resolved, That the thanks uv the Dimocrisy are due the bold,
brave men who accompanied and stood by General Rosso in
this vindication uv the Southern spirit.

I put the affirmative, ez is the custom here, it bein the rool
when the leaders want a thing to pass, never to call for the
nays, and it went through all right. Then I arose, and stated
I hed another resolution, wich I wished to offer, and I read
it: —

Resolved, That in retainin in the Post Offis, at the Corners, a
Ablishnist, President Johnson is —

At this point Deekin Pogram interrupted me. He spozed
this meetin wuz called to congratulate Ginral Rosso, and wat
wuz the sense uv mixin up a paltry Post Offis with a matter
uv so much importance ez the canin uv a Ablishnist? It was
clearly out uv order.

I replied, “Wood yoo be glad, or wood this congregashun
be glad, to hev me in the Post Orfis in the place uv that
Ablishnist?”

The Deekin replied that personally he wood. He had the
highest respect for my massive talents and my excellent qualities
uv head and heart, and besides, he thought probable, ef I
got the Post Orfis, he wood stand a chance uv gettin the nine
dollars and sixty-two cents borrowed money I owed him,
and —

I called him to order at once.

Bascom, who keeps the grocery, and who furnishes me with
likker (wich I hev to take for my hair) on the strength uv
remittances I am to receeve, insisted on hearin the resolution
ef it wood further my gettin the Post Orfis, and so did the benevolent
gentleman with whom I board, and I resoomed, —

“I kin see a good reason for incorporatin a resolooshun demandin
a change in the Post Orfis into the proceedins uv this
meetin. There wood be, my friends, no yoose uv sendin the
President a naked resolution demandin this change, becoz he
reseeves hundreds and tens uv hundreds uv applications for
offices every day; in fact, they pile in at sich a rate that he
never opens the half uv them. The Dimocrisy, my brethren,
are alive on this subject. Ef they are to support the President,
they want, and will hev, the post orfises, for uv what use
is it to support a man and pay yoor own expenses? It is plain
that the proceedins uv a post offis meetin wood never reach
him, but this, my brethren, goes up to him from the PEOPLE,
endorsin a supporter uv his policy, and ez it will be the only
one he hez reseeved, or will reseeve, he will read it and read
it through, and in the exultation he will feel at bein endorsed
by anybody, who doubts the result? The Post Orfis is mine.”

Bascom, the grocery keeper, moved, excitedly, the adoption

uv the resolution. I suggested that I hed better read it, but
he sed it made no difference; he knew it wuz all rite. The
benevolent and confidin individooal I board with seconded the
motion, and Deekin Pogram supported it in a short speech,
statin that he understood that it wuz Brother Nasby's intention,
ef he succeeded in procoorin the position, to devote the
first three and a half years' salary towards payin off the small
indebtedness he hed contracted sence he hed honored the town
by residin in it. To all uv wich I blandly smiled an assent,
whereupon the resolution wuz adopted yoonanimusly. Hevin
lived here a little risin uv a year, the vote wuz perfeckly
yoonanimous.

My prospex is britenin.