37. XXXVII.
ESTABLISHES AFRICAN SLAVERY.
Church uv the Slawterd Innocents }
(Lait St. Vallandigum), January the 16th, 1864.
Trouble are comin upon me thicker and faster. “Men
change, but principles, never,” hez bin a motto uv mine for
years, and bleevin in the grate principle of the strong owning
the weak — or, in other words, slavery — I shel never cease
my efforts to make it universal. Ther bein a onreasonable
prejudice in the minds uv the weak uv my congregashen aginst
bein the perpetooal servance uv them as nacher hez made to
rool, I called a special meetin of my flock, to consider the
matter. I interdoost it thus:—
By Hager, I proved that slavery was scriptooral.
By “cussid be Kanan,” et settry, I shode concloosively that
the nigger wuz the identikle indivijjle who wuz to be the sed
slave aforesed.
Then it wuz put to vote, and it wuz unanimusly resolvd,
that Afriken slavery be interdoost amongst us. I notist, with
pleasure, that the poorer the indivijjle, the more anxshus he
seemed to own a nigger.
Opinions were then interchanged. Absolum Kitt, who is a
carpenter, and who never saved a dollar, hevin alluz hed a sick
wife and a large family of children, sed he felt that a grate
work hed bin dun that nite. The prowd Anglo-Saxun, whom
nacher intended to rool, hed bin that nite elevatid to his
normal speer. Hentzforth ther wuz no more labor for him.
He hed a contrak to bild a house for brother Podhammer, and
he hed no doubt that the brethrin who wuz blest with means,
wood make up a puss, and enable him to buy a nigger carpenter
to do his work.
Brother Podhammer aroze. He, uv coarse, wood be glad to
assist brother Kitt, but dooty to his own family required a
different line uv action. His idee wuz to purchis a nigger
carpenter hisself, and—
“WHAT!” exclaimed Kitt.
Brother Podhammer resoomd. He intended to buy a nigger
carpenter hisself, and bild his house. The cheef beauty uv
the grate system, and the wun that makes it altogether luvly,
is, that yoo kin BUY yoor labor.
“But,” sed Kitt, “what kin I do if yoo work nigger
carpenters?”
“Trooly,” sez Podhammer, “I know not. A carpenter kin
be purchist for $1000, the interest uv wich is $60, and his
keepin, say $100 more, per annum. Now, ef Brother Kitt will
cum to them wages, and be modritly umble, I mite, for his
sake, forego the exquisit pleasure uv hevin a nigger to flog,
and still employ him.”
“But,” sez Kitt, turnin pale, “my family wood starve on
them wages. Why, I mite ez well be a nigger myself.”
At this pint I lifted up my voice. I exorted Brother Kitt to
patience. The grate Dimekratik idee, that capital shood own
labor, must be establisht. It may bare hard upon indivijjles,
but wat then? John Rogers went camly to the stake for
principle. Ef Brother Kitt doth not like to accept his normal
condishen to-wunst, he kin go to sum less favored country,
wher the grate instooshon is not establisht.
Brother Podger, a blacksmith, sed he supposed the rich uns
wood buy a nigger blacksmith, and let him emigrate. Brother
Snipes, a plasterer, made a similar observashen. Brother Punt,
a bricklayer, remarkt likewise.
Whereupon they all, in chorus, similarly exclaimed they'd
see us d—d fust, and then they woodent.
Whereupon they reconsidered the resolushen establishin
slavery.
Kitt and his herritix wuz not at church last Sundy, and the
postmaster told me that they hed sent off a club for the Anti-Slavery
Standard.
Trooly, a reformer's Jordan is a hard road to travel I
beleeve.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Paster uv sed Church, in charge.
