57. LVII.
LOSES A FRIEND, AND WRITES HIS OBITUARY.
Church uv the Noo Dispensashun, }
October the 28th, 1864.
A pillar hez fallen! Last nite, at 10 o'clock and 57 minits
P. M., Issaker Punt, a deacon uv my Church, and the heftiest
pillar in the instooshn, in fact the only one who paid his
quarterage reglar, departed this life.
Brother Punt wuz born a Dimekrat; he reseeved the faith
by inheritance, ez his father wuz one afore him. And that faith
he kept. He mite hev bin sedoost into the by and forbidden
paths uv Whiggery and Ablishnism, and sich, but knowin the
frailty uv human nacher, he persistently refoozd to learn to
reed, and thus made himself sekoor from the wiles uv unscroopulus
politishns. It wuz a butiful traite in his charikter
that he wood never vote a tickit that he did not get from the
hands uv the central committee-man!
Brother Punt commenst politikle life a votin for Androo
Jaxon, when he wuz but 18 years old. The rigid moralist may
object to this act, ez illegal. It wuz objectid to at the time,
and the youthful hero wuz arrestid and impriznd, and he wood
hev remained in prizn two years, hed he not bin pardoned out
by a Dimekratik guverner, jest afore the next elecshun. We
next find him battlin for the Dimokrasy in the person uv Martin
Van Buren. At that elecshun he votid twice, and drunk 172
times. Ez he repeatedly remarkt to me, that day wuz a tryin
one. The first hundred drinks wuz nateral — the balance wuz
excess; but he hed pledged his township for a certain majority,
the candidates hed given him the money to treat with, and
he wuz determined to do it ef it cost him a attack uv delirium
tremens. He wuz alluz ready to sacrifice his bowels for the
cause.
He managed to survive Harrison's elecshun, and wuz active
in procurin Polk's triumph. He mourned doorin Fillmore's
rane, and rejoist with exceedin grate joy doorin Peerse and
Bookannon's.
In 1860 he didn't vote for nobody. He knowd Duglis wuz a
Dimekrat, and so wuz Breckinridge. He attendid meetins uv
both factions, and hoorayd vigerusly for both, but, unforchnitly,
the committy who hed furnisht him tickets for years wuz
divided — one half for Duglis and tother for Breckinridge. He
coodent decide wich wuz the real Dimekratik tickit, and so, on
elecshun day, he went to the poles, and went thro the moshuns
uv votin with a piece uv blank paper.
But he hed no doubts ez to opposin Linkin — he knowd he
wuz no Dimekrat, for both committymen told him so. O, with
what joy he heerd the news uv the firin on Fort Sumter!
With what eckstasy he heerd uv Bull Run! No man in the
North exhibitid more ability in swearin at Linkin — no one
cood retail to better advantage the lies the centrel committy
decidid to cirkelait.
Brother Punt growd low-sperited at the battle uv Stone
River, and kept failin ez Linkin's dorgs advanced. He britened
up a little when Forest killed the niggers at Fort Piller; but
Sheridan and the Indiana eleckshuns protrastid him fearfully,
and he becum so redoost that his likker hed to be fed to him
with a spoon.
Brother Punt wuz a consistent member uv the Church uv
the Noo Dispensashun. Before jinin my flock, it wuz his boast
that he hed never bin inside a meetin-house. Therefore he
rejoist at the oppertoonity uv hearin a pure gospel, into wich,
ef the nigger wuz interdoost at all, he wuz put in and held up
hand-cufft, wich is alluz refreshin to the troo Dimekratik mind.
He dispisd Ablishn preachin.
Brother Punt's Dimokrasy wuz uv a broad, comperhensive
charicter. He follered the party. Opposed to Stait's rites
and secession under Jaxon, he wuz in favor uv both in 1864.
Opposed to slavery-extension in '48, he favored it in '60, and
so on. The immejit coz uv his death wuz this tyranikle
Administrashen. Whisky hed got so high that he wuz forst
to diloot it, and at his age he coodent stan it. He died uv
water on the stumick.
I wuz with him in his last moments. His mind wandered,
and he talked uv goin wher he'd finally hev a post-orfis. The
doctor, who wuz a Ablishnist, unfeelinly remarkt, that ef ther
wuz mails in the country he wuz goin to, it wood be nessary to
hev fire-proof mail bags. Like all other grate men, he hed his
last words (no member uv my flock shel die without hevin last
words, so long ez I kin write) — I writ em yisterday. They
wuz: “Hev we carried Pennsylvany? — my coppers is burnt
out! — put on my tomb-stun, `He voted erly and often, and
never scratched a tickit.'”
Ez winter is approachin, and I need a new soot uv close, I
hev determined to call upon the brethren for funds to erect a
sootable monument to the memory uv this sterlin Dimekrat.
Sums uv ten cents (wich, sence Vallandigum's speckelashun,
is the orthodox Dimekratik contribushen), for this purpose,
may be sent to me, with the asshoorence that they will be
faithfully used.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Paster uv sed Church, in charge.
