92. XCII.
A CONVERSATION WITH A LOYAL KENTUCKIAN,
WHO HAD FAITH IN THE FINAL TRIUMPH OF
DEMOCRACY.
Confedrit × Roads (wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky), }
January 6, 1866.
[1]
I see a lite. Dimocrisy is not that dead carkis its enemies
hoped for and its friends feared. My noomerous friends here
insisted that ez I wuz growin into the seer and yaller leaf, I
shood abandon Dimocrisy, and flote with the current. I can't.
Ez troo ez the needle to the pole, so am I to Dimocrisy.
Young wimmin flock to marryins, middle-aged ones to bornins,
old ones to buryins, which shows concloosively to the most
limited intelleck wat the mind uv each class runs upon. So it
is with me. To me Dimocrisy is wife, mother, and child.
I hev diskivered many things sence I hev bin in Kentucky
— things wich elevated my deprest heart ez yeast does dough,
wich filled my shrunken soul ez wind does a bladder.
The people uv Kentucky wuz all loyal. Doorin the horrible
fratrisidle war wich hez rent the proud temple uv liberty into
twain, they preserved a strict nootrality. I hed a conversation
with wun old patriarch, who asshoored me that he hed never
taken sides. Upon his honor, he asshoored me that, after battles,
he rifled the corpses uv both armies, impartially. “Cood
any body be more nootraller than that?” he asked. “My
sons,” sed he, “wuz in the Confedrit army. This fact wood
hev turned the affections uv a week-minded man in that direction;
but when I thot uv the boys, I alluz thot also uv that
glorious star-spangled banner, under wich I hed whipped my
niggers and sold their children; under whose shadder I hed
men servants, and made servants, and home-made servants born
unto me. That banner hed bin my shield. Ef my niggers run
off, who so prompt in their pursoot ez the Democratic marshals,
wich alluz returned em to me ef it wuz possible? The instooshun
wuz guaranteed to me by solemn compermises, wich we
cocd hev ez often ez we desired. Compermises wuz our best
holt. Whenever we wanted anything, all we hed to do wuz to
ask for it. The Ablishnists wood object, the Dimocrisy wood
draw up a compermise, wich inclooded, ez a rool, twice or three
times wat we asked, and pass it to save the Union. Sich a
Union wuz worth havin, and I opposed all efforts to dissolute
it. Hed the South succeeded, I shood hev gone with em; for
Kentucky alone — the only nigger State in the North — wood
hev bin helpless. Scaldin tears hev I shed when contemplatin
the horrors uv war; but I cood do nothin to avert it. Kentucky
wuz loyal, but nootral.”
I find down here that the loyal citizens uv Kentucky who
hev returned from the Confedrit service are not at all discouraged;
on the contrary, they are hopeful. Sed one to me (I
bleeve he wuz a Kernel under General Forest; indeed, I think
he told me he participated in the glorious victory at Fort
Piller), —
“Why art thou cast down? Things is workin eggsactly to
our hand.”
In a mournful tone, I retorted that I failed to perseeve it.
“I kin,” sez he. “Lookye, my venerable friend. Is Northern
Dimocrisy still troo?”
“They is,” I replied, “wat few remains. But, alas! war,
crooel war, hez decimated our ranks five times.”
“How so?” sez he. “None uv your kind uv Democrats
joined in this unholy croosade, and fell afore our deth-deelin
swords — did they?”
“Not any,” sez I; “but Canady and Montana took em afore
each draft. That wuz why we wuz so beat at the eleckshuns.
For one week-kneed Ablishnist we scared into our ranks, we
lost two by emigration; and, unfortunitly, wun half that emigrated
starved to death, and tother half is distributed in the
various state's prisons in them lands uv refuge.”
“Still,” sez he, “it matters not. Yoo hev deestricks yoo kin
carry in most uv the States. The Five Points deestrick, in
Noo York, is ours. Noo Jersey will go back to her allegiance.
The new gold States, where so menny uv our friends fled, will
send up Democrats to Congress. Ohio hez two devoted to us,
Pennsylvany hez several, and the most uv the Northern States
will send one or two; and them from the North kin be depended
on to go any measure we say. Then” — and he
slapped me on the back hilariously — “the niggers is free!”
“Well,” sez I, not seein wat cause for hilarity that wuz.
“Well,” sez he, “them niggers is not now OTHER PERSONS!
We alluz counted five uv em for three in makin up the Congressmen
we wuz entitled to; now they count as white men,
wich increases our delegashuns to sich an extent that ef yoo
Northern men do half yoor dooty, we'll hev a majority in Congress.
Then, good Lord! the pleasant crack uv the whip shel
agin be heard on the plains uv the sunny South. The niggers
wont be re-enslaved; but our Legislaters will speedily redoose
em to their normal condishun. We shel observe the Constitushnel
Amendment strickly and in good faith. The Afrikin shel
be free; but the good uv society demands that he shel be
under proper guardianship. He won't be allowed to change
his location; and the laws uv the States will define his dooties,
and give us the power uv enforcin em. He won't be allowed
to hev arms, so he can't resist. Ez he can't leave a plantation,
he will hev to submit quietly to sich rools ez the high-minded
planter makes for him, or be shot on the spot, or turned out to
die uv starvashun, akording to circumstances. Ef the planter
is a unregenerated child uv damnashun, he will shoot him; ef
he is a saint, who hez a Southern hope uv a blessed immortality
beyond the grave, he'll restrain his anger, and turn him out to
die uv hunger, onless he repents, and comes back humble.
Then, they bein free and responsible for theirselves, we ain't
obleeged to take care uv the sick, the aged, or the infirm, so it
will be really better than it wuz before. I see a glorious future
afore us. Thro the thick clouds uv gloom the brite sun uv
hope cheerinly breaks. Say to the Northern Dimocrisy, be uv
good cheer. Agin they shel lick our hands; agin they shel eat
the crumbs that fall from the National table.
“Thank God for the Northern Dimocrisy, with the other
blessins He has given the South. With niggers to do our
manual labor for nothing, with Northern Dimocrats to do our
votin at almost the same price, we are trooly a favored people.
Bless the Lord for the nigger and the Dimocrat, wich is both
useful to us, each in his speer!”
I drew encouragement from his remarks. The deep vane
uv pious thankfulness wich run through his discourse was
nateral to him. He is a trooly pious man, and wuz just back
from the meetin uv the Synod uv one uv the Southern churches,
wich still persists in quotin Onesimus and Hayger. I feel
encouraged. O, Dimmycrats uv the North, let us
“Our vigger renoo,
And our journey persoo,”
and I feel shoor that success will at last crown our efforts.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Lait Pastor uv the Church uv the Noo Dispensashun.
