21. XXI.
STARTS A PAPER.
Church uv St. Vallandigum, }
June the 30th, 1863.
I am back in the midst uv my flock. I coodent be a marter.
The Fedral orfisers dismist me with the insultin remark that I
wuz too small pertaters to notis. Hevin time on my hands, and
feelin that I'm livin in vane onless I am doin suthin for the
grate coz, I hev determined to ishoo a paper, devoted to disseminatin
my vews. I ishood my prospectuses to-day, ez follows:
TO THE PURE DIMOKRASY!
Prospectus uv the “Marter and Tyrent Resister!”
August 1st, the undersined will ishoo the fust number uv a
paper bearin the above title, devoted to the interests uv the
pure Dimokrasy. To inshoor the fatheful just sech a paper ez
they need, the follerin able writers hev bin ingaged, regardless
uv expence:
On arbitrary arrests — Petroleum V. Nasby.
On habis corpuss — P. V. Nasby.
On nigger — P. Volcano Nasby.
On violashens uv Constooshnal rites — Mr. Nasby.
This brilyunt gallaxsy uv intelleck, under my editorial
control.
The “Marter and Tyrent Resister” will support Democracy,
and while givin the government a harty support in puttin down
the rebelyun, will uv coarse oppose —
Coercin the secedid staits; invadin the secedid staits; raisin
armies by volunteerin; raisin armies by draft or conscripshen;
raisin means by tax or tariff; arrestin uv men for sympathisin
with the Southern Dimokrasy; arrestin uv enybody for any
thing; the usin uv niggers ez soljers; the usin uv white men
ez soljers; every thing the Administrashen hez dun, is doin, er
may hereafter do.
It will viggerously advocate —
The Constitooshn ez it is; doin away uv the Constitooshn;
the Union ez it wuz; the plan for dividin the Union into four
parts; the elekshen uv troo Dimekrats to good payin offises;
the enforsement uv the laws; the resistin uv conskripshen and
enrolin offisers; morality and good order; the mobbin uv
Methodis, Presbyterin, Luthrin, Brethrin, and other hetrodox
churches.
I appeal confidently to the Dimokrasy for support. The
actooal, ginooine principles uv Dimokrasy need a able defender,
and I'm the identicle individooal. My sole is in the coz, and I
am pecooliarly fitted by eddicashen and tastes for the posishen.
I bleeve the speckelashen will pay. My church welkomed
me back with a corjuality trooly affectin. They held a festivle
on my return, to wich the Sunday skool skollars wuz present.
I unbended myself, and kist em onct apeece, takin a nip of corn
essence atween times, wich wuz nessary. Mistakin a mother
for her infant, the infooriated husband assaulted me. I wuz
reskood afore much damage wuz dun. A speshl church meetin
will be held to consider his case.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Paster uv sed Church, in charge.
