184. CLXXXIV.
MR. NASBY GIVES A BRIEF ACCOUNT OF HIS
NEW ESTABLISHMENT.
6th Ward, Noo York, }
December 22, 1869.
I am perfectly and entirely happy; for I hev formed a number
uv deliteful acquaintances in this trooly grate city, wich
makes my pathway pleasant and cheerful. I hev added to the
decorashuns uv my bar portrates uv Sammon P. Chase,
Fernandy Wood, and Pendleton, one uv wich is shure to be our
standard-bearer in the next contest, wich colleckshun I shel
keep addin to ez I git the means. I hev a stiddy run uv trade,
and I am seldom alone, which soots me exactly. But few men
like to be alone. A man is bad company for hisself, for he
alone is the only one who knows percisely how cussed mean he
is. The two Aldermen who paternizes me pay ez they drink,
wich paternage alone is almost suffishent to support me, ez
they are conscienshusly industrious drinkers. They pay, not
becoz they hev any particular prejoodis in that direckshun,
but becoz money costs em nothin, and becoz, likin my face, they
hev a desire to keep me among em. One of em was pleased
to compliment me yesterday. “Nasby,” sed he, “that nose uv
yoors indicates more certenly yoor politicks than wat yoo
say. The heart is deceetful, and the tongue ofttimes speeks
what the heart doth not prompt; the nose kin never lie. It's
alluz safe to approach sich a nose with a cash offer to do dooty
ez a repeeter. Two more hot whiskeys, and one for yoorself
while yoo are at it.”
Isn't it a pleasure to mix drinks for one who combines
shrewd knowledge uv human nacher, whiskey, and ready pay,
in sich correct proportions? Uv course it is. But my buzzum
friend is Terrence O'Sullivan, who is perhaps the most regular
customer I hev. Mr. O'Sullivan is one uv the oldest Democrats
in Noo York, it hevin bin three years sence he left Cork.
It is not known wat he wuz before he left Ireland. Ther wuz
a pockitbook and a watch mixed up in it, the pertickelers uv
wich I never got. On his release, Mr. O'Sullivan perceeded to-wunst
to Noo York, and commenst life ez a laborer on an
excavashun on Broadway. Forchunitly six weeks after he
landed an eleckshun took place, and he immejietly got employment
ez a repeeter. Doorin the war he was engaged in
enlistin hisself under various names fur the bounty, the monotony
of wich ockkupashun he varied by occasional burglaries
and operations in the street on intoxicated Western men.
He hez bin second and bottle-holder in many prize-fights,
and hez an interest in two unpretendin faro banks and one
lottery shop.
Uv course Mr. O'Sullivan holds office. Hevin one hundred
and sixty-three votes at his control, he is skool direcktor, inspeckter
uv Boa Constrictors in Central Park, clerk to three
boards, and in addishen, hez a sub-contract for street cleanin.
Ez ther ain't no Boa Constrickters and no Boards, and ez the
streets are never cleaned, why, Mr. O'S. hez a tolerable soft
thing uv it, or wood hev were it not that he hez to divide his
salaries up among so many. But, nevertheless, he lives comfortably
and happy.
Mr. O'Sullivan hez a brother who is at this time an inmate
uv the State Prison at Sing Sing, for highway robbery, and
last Monday we went up to Sing Sing to see him. We arrived
jist ez the convicts was a marchin in to dinner, and took posishen
where we cood see em, so that Mr. O'S. cood point out
his unforchunit relative to me ez they passed.
“There he is — good Hevins!”
“Wat agitates you, my friend?” I asked.
“Look!” sed he, “the fourth man in the file.”
I saw at onct wat agitated him. His brother was the fourth
man in the sixth file, and side by side with that brother, a
white man, wuz — A NIGGER! both dressed exactly alike.
“Hevins!” ejackilated O'Sullivan, “is this thing permitted
in the Democratic State uv Noo York? Hev we fought nigger
ekality at the polls so many years to hev it practised here,
in a Democratic State under Democratic offishls?”
“And here, too, where only Democrats is degraded by it!”
I put in.
We sought out the Warden, and demandid that the infamous
practis be changed. The Warden sympathized with us, but
sed it coodn't be. There wuz no provision in the laws governin
the prisons uv the State for keepin niggers separate. “You
see,” he remarked, “it's only now and then that any uv the
degradid race git here, and there's no provision made for em.
It can't be helped.” “Then,” sed O'Sullivan, “do I understand
that the Democrisy uv Noo York city is to be continyooally
threatened with nigger ekality?”
“They are till the Legislacher changes it,” retorted the
Warden.
We left the prison shortly after that, Mr. O'Sullivan in a
most melankolly mood.
“Nasby,” sed he finally, after a silence uv perhaps half an
hoor, doorin wich time he wuz plunged in the deepest thought,
“Nasby, it's all up with me. I shel never break into a house,
or pick a pocket, or go through a drunken man agin. Wat I
have seen to-day hez determined me. I shel never agin take a
chance uv goin to Sing Sing. Why, it mite be my forchoon to
be put beside that nigger!”
And a shudder uv ill-concealed anguish agitated his frame,
and the strong man wept bitter teers.
I comforted him ez best I cood. I told him that should he
be arrestid for, say a murder, be tried and convicted, and sent
to the penetenshary, and be forced to march side by side with
a nigger, “the disgrace,” I sed, “won't be yoors, 'twill be the
infamous retches who put yoo there. If yoo shood, of your
own free will, put yourself on a level with a nigger, — for instance,
ef yoo shood buy of or sell to an Ethiopian, — then the
degredashen wood be yoors, for yoo mite hev asserted yoor
sooperiority. But in the case uv State's Prison, I reely think
yoo put too much stress onto it. In that case a sooperior power
compels yoo to this, and yoo ain't responsible. Were I in yoor
place — hed I sich promisin prospecks ez yoorn — I don't
think I shood permit this to stop me.”
But Mr. O'Sullivan wuz inflexible. He shood quit all practices
wich pinted in the direckshun uv a penetenshary, for it
would kill him to be compelled for a minit to eat, work, or walk
beside a nigger, even tho he wuz compelled to do it.
Then an idea struck me! Brilliant idees alluz do come to
me precisely the rite time. “Why, yoo cussed jackass!” sed
I, fallin onto his neck, “why do we talk uv this. Now that the
Democracy hez the Legislacher, and will hev the control uv the
city in all its departments, no Democrat who hez a dozen votes
back uv him will go to the penitenshary. But few of em did
afore, when the Ablishnists hed the poleece, but now that we
hev Judges, poleece, and all — why, my deer sir, the chances
is ez one to a million. Go on with yoor burglary, my sweet
Terence; go in and win, with no gaunt fear stalkin like a
spectre behind yoo.” Mr. O'Sullivan returned to the city with
me, comforted, that is ez to hisself. But he is determined that
the wrong shel be remedied. He declares it his purpose to
petishn to the Legislacher to pass an act makin seprit prizens
for niggers, that Democrats uv the city may not be perpetooally
menaced with the possibility that they may be compelled to
assoshate with em; or wot wood be still better, they wood hev
hangin made the only punishment for niggers, wich wood finish
the cusses to-wunst, and end all anxiety on their account. Sich
a petition is now hangin in my bar, and I read it to all who
cum in, and in no case hez any one uv em refoosed to make his
mark onto it. This will be the first reform the new Legislacher
will be called upon to make.
Petroleum V. Nasby
(wich wuz P. M.).
