28. XXVIII.
VISITS CAMP DENNISON TO ELECTIONEER FOR
VALLANDIGHAM.
Church uv St. Vallandigum, }
October the 1st, 1863.
[1]
Feelin it a sacred dooty I owed the coz uv Dimokrasy and
free speech (on awl subgeks not interferin with Dimokrasy ez
it hez bin, ez it is, or ez it may be), I visited Camp Dennyson,
wich is named after a Abolishnist, to use my stentorin voice
for Vallandigum among the paroled prizners. It wuz a bammy
mornin in September wen I arriv, and procooring admishen, I
set to work to-wunst. Noticin a couple uv dozen uv em a
playin poker — one cent anty — I judged by a instink I hev
that ther wuz a good field for sowin Dimekratik seed. Advancin,
I sed, —
“My frends!”
“Wat,” said wun uv em, takin advantage uv the interrupshen
to slip a ace or two up his coat sleeve.
“My frends,” sed I, “I cum to yoo ez a possel uv peece, and
a umble advokate uv Dimokrasy, and that persookootid angil,
Vallandigum —”
“Five aces, Jimuel,” sed the person who fust sed “Wat”
to me. “I take the pile, coz yoo cant beet five aces;” and,
sweepin the money, he remarkt to me, “Now, parson, wat did
yoo say?”
“I cum,” sez I, “in behalf uv the outraged Vallandigum,
who is a exile far away.”
I found that the sile uv Camp Dennyson wuz alogether too
stony to maik preeching for Vallandigum and free speech very
pleasant, for no sooner hed the words left my lips, than a
shower uv stuns assailed me; wun, that felt ez tho it wayd a
tun, prostrated me. A seriz uv outrages wuz then perpetrated,
wich beggars deskripshun. I wuz peltid with offensive eggs,
and rotten cabbage, and decayd pertaters; in fact, at wun time
the air wuz so full uv eggs, that I might hev thot, hed I ben
poetikle, that the blessid sun wuz a mammoth hen, badly diseased,
and a layin rotten eggs a milliun a minnit. Finally, wun
uv em sez, “Boys, we aint the prizners this feller 's after.
Johnson's Island 's wher he wants to go to find his frends.”
“Yes,” sed another, “and to git there yoo go by water!”
Whereupon, these fiends seezed me, and dragged me thro a
hoss-troff fifteen er a hundred times. Then they pourd cole ile
over me, and wuz a goin to set it afire to dry me, ez they sed,
but I broke and fled, pursood by one thousand uv these infooriatid
demons. I finally escaped, by passin myself orf ez Horris
Greely on to a party uv em who stopt me.
I am at present confind to my bed.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Paster uv sed Church, in charge.
