167. CLXVII.
MR. NASBY A DELEGATE TO NEW YORK.
New York (at a cheep boardin }
house), July the 4, 1868.
Ef I hed knowd just wat I hed to go thro with, I never
wood figgered for the posishen I now okkepy. Hed I knowd
the troubles wich was to beset me, the Corners mite hev gone
onrepresented, and the Democrisy mite hev nominatid a candikate
without my help. I am at a cheep boardin house, wich is
salubrusly sitooated on an alley, the landlady bein one uv the
anshent Kings uv Ireland, wich her name is O'Shaughnessy.
I coodent get rooms at the Aster, nor the St. Nicholas, ez I
coodent git a clerk to look at me. And that insult mite be
added to injoory, the unfeelin woman who presides over the
manshen I inhabit, peremptorily refoozed to reseeve me ontil I
paid in advance. I tried sevral places, but ez I hedn't no
baggage, the pervailin opinyun seemed to be that advance
payment wood be better, and I wuz forst to return to her.
My advenchers on the route were noomerous, if not
pleasant.
At some pint in Ingiany, wher we changed cars, I found the
trane we hed to take full uv delegates. In lookin around for a
seet, I diskivered but one that hadn't two in it, and that one
hed in it a disgustin nigger, who hed the impoodence to be
well drest, and hed a carpet sack beside him. My Demokratic
blood riz to-wunst. Feelin that in a car filled with Demokratic
delegates, anything I shood do to a nigger wood be safe, I
stawkt proudly up to him, holdin my nose.
“Good Lord!” sed I, “wat a smell.”
“Good Lord!” ekoed the delegates wich got on at that
stashen, “wat a terrible smell.”
“My gentle Afrikin frend,” sed I, seezin him by the collar,
“I regret the necessity uv sayin disagreeable things, but yoor
impudence in gittin into a car uv white gentlemen, with the
disgustin odor inseparable from the Afrikin race, is too much.
And more especially do I wonder at yoor keepin yoor seet,
while I and other white gentlemen are standin.”
“Out with the nigger!” yelled the lately arrived delegates;
“hustle the stinkin cuss.”
“Merciful Hevens, wat a smell!” sung out others uv em.
“Hist him!” “Hist him!”
Seein myself thus backed, and feelin that a little zeal wood
be safe, ez niggers can't vote, I knockt his hat out uv the
winder, and follered up that demonstrashen with a serious
attempt at liftin him out uv the seat. I wood hev succeeded,
but the nigger resisted vigorously, to-wit: he knockt three uv
my front teeth down my throte, pulled out wat little there wuz
left uv the hare that hangs in scanty festoons about my venrable
temples, and blackt both my eyes. I wuz lyin on my back in
the passage, somewat astonished, the nigger a standin over
me, with his boot heel over my face, when some gentlemen
came in from another car and restrained him. “Mr. Williams,”
sed they, “let him up. He's poor white trash, and not worth
wastin yoor indignashen onto. Let him up, Mr. Williams, let
him up.”
“Sirs,” sed I, risin to my feet, tremulous with rage, “is this
the treatment I am to expect all the way to Noo York? Am I
to be pounded to jelly by a nigger, — a stinkin nigger, sirs,
whose odor even now makes the car ontenable to gentlemen
uv refined sensibilities, — and to heer the nigger addresst ez
“Mister” after that, instid uv bein tored to pieces by the
infuriated spectators! O shame, where is thy blush?”
“You mizable cuss,” sed one uv these gentlemen, “apologise
to-wunst to this gentleman for yoor insultin roodnis, or
we'll chuck yoo out uv the cars. Apologize, sir, to Mr. Josef
Williams,
Delegate at Large for the State uv Tennessee!”
I almost fainted. This nigger, then, wuz a delegate! He
wuz a regler delegate, armed and equipped with regler credenshels
to a Demokratic Convenshen, and I hed been guilty,
in my zeel, uv assaultin uv him! Gladly I apologyzed, and
further, I humbly begged permission to sit beside him; wich
he accordid with a graciousnis I never saw ekalled.
It wuz astonishin the change that crept over the Injeany
delegates. They crowded around us, and shook him by the
hand; they didn't smell any odor at all any more; on the
contrary, they seemed to like him. They addrest him ez
“Mister,” and sevral uv em, introdoocin him to ther friends
who got on at various stashens, yoosed the prefix “Honorable.”
It's wonderful wat a difference it makes with a nigger to have
a vote, and also how he votes! Hed that Williams bin infected
with Ablishinnism, I make no doubt that the stench wich I
reely fancied I smelt when I fust undertook to subjoogate him,
wood hev continyood to the end uv the trip. In olden times it
wuz observed that slave niggers didn't smell — it wuz only the
free ones. It is a settled fact now that Demokratic niggers are
inodorous! I mite hev known, however, that the nigger wuz
a free nigger, by the way he pitched into me. No nigger in a
state uv servitood wood ever hev did sich a thing. That much
they owe to the war, anyhow.
My principal object in goin to Noo York wuz to do wat I
cood toward secoorin the nominashen of Jethro L. Kippins. I
found the delegates badly tore up. The offers made for votes
wuz so rediculously low that there wuz much disgust manifested.
The trouble wuz, that the markit wuz over-stockt.
Hed the Convenshen bin pretty ekally divided, and the balance
uv power held by a few clost mouthed souls, they cood hev
made a good thing of it. But where a whole Convenshen is
in the markit, and all their inflooenshel friends, no candidate can
afford to buy. I withdrew Mr. Kippens to-wunst, for he hez
but a small farm, and that mortgaged to a grocery keeper.
I wuz on the Committee on Resolooshens, or ruther wuz in
the room ez a sort uv advisory committee while the resolooshens
wuz bein draftid. General Forrest, uv Tennessee, wuz
partiklerly anxshus that a resolooshen shood be adoptid denouncin
the Radicals, who wuz, with unholy hands, a strivin
to destroy the best government the sun ever shone upon, and
one the destruction uv wich wood be a calamity wich unborn
millions wood shed teers over. He desired a resolooshen
pledgin the Dimocrisy to stand by the old Stars and Stripes,
wich flag hed braved a thousand breezes, and wuz synonomous,
et settry. Mr. Wooley, Mr. Cobb (Mrs. Cobb's husband), and
Perry Fuller, pertikelerly desired a resolooshen demandin the
turnin out uv office uv corrupt men, that the government mite
be administered with suthin like the purity wich distinguished
it doorin the administration uv the late lamented Bookannon, at
the menshen uv whose name every delegate present held a
hankercher to his eyes for five consecutive minits, ez tho a
grate greef hed fallen onto him.
Cheef Justis Chase wuz espeshelly anxyus for a resoloshun
denounsin in the severest terms them onprincipled, fanatikal
Radikels, who for years hed bin laborin to subvert the government,
by interferin with the persuns and property uv citizens,
and also pledgin the Convenshen to that wise conservatism
without wich ther cood be no permanance in our government.
I dropt into the Soljers' and Sailers' Convenshun, but I didn't
stay long. Them whose noses wuzn't red, wanted to be either
President or cabinet orfisers; and uv the balance uv em,
the leastest sed the better. My sole indignated ez I saw
seated among em the very sutler who refoosed me credit when
I wuz servin ez a drafted man in 1862; and also a claim agent,
who got $10 uv me, on the promis uv getin my bounty; which,
when he got it he absorbed in fees, costs, and commissions.
Ther wuz, uv coorse, some troo men. Ther wuz soljers ther
wich resigned early in the war on akkount uv its bein a d—d
Ablishin war, and others who left becoz Linkin wuzn't rapid
enuff in makin uv Major Generals. Ther wuz no limit to ther
speekin. Every wun hed the speech wich he delivered at the
Cleveland Convenshun in 1866 carefully preserved, and they
all insisted on deliverin em, wich ez I left they were doin, all
to themselves. Ef they kin stan it I am willin. We are agoin
to hev a Soljers' Convenshen in Richmond to ratify the nom
inashens, wich will amount to suthin. We shel hev Forrest
there, Boregard, and Breckenridge, and their speeches will
count. We will hev the flags uv the two governments entwined,
and we will hev the moosic uv both seckshens played.
Sich a Convenshen will amount to suthin.
Wat the platform will be, or who the candidates will be, the
Lord only knows. I am prepared for anythin, and so are all
the delegates. Ef it's Pendleton, on a repoodiashen platform,
well and good; ef its Seymour, on a Nashenel Bank platform,
jest as good. I shood be happy to see Breckinridge the choice
uv the party, and delighted ef Hancock shood be chosen. I
kin hurrah for Chase, and with ekal vigger kin swing my hat
for Vallandygum, and I find all the delegates similerly affected.
The Post Office is the lean kine wich swallers up all the others.
We are willin to sink everythin in Post Office. That my sincerity
may not be doubted, let it be remembered that I have
rid with a nigger from Ingeany to Noo York; hev bin whaled
by one, and hev felt good over it; hev bin hurrahin for an old
line Abolishnist, and swearin the while I liked it. Ef any other
evidence uv flexibility is needed, I feel ekal to the task. Politically,
I am ekal to all emergencies.
Petroleum V. Nasby, P. M.
(wich is Postmaster).
