12. XII.
IMPROVES HIS FORTUNES BY MARRIAGE.
Camp uv the Looisiana Pelicans, }
November the 11th, 1862.
I am here, and mizrable!
I am not less than 213 per cent. more mizrable than I used
to be!
I consoomd two hours uv the Sutherin Confedracy's time, and
a 12-foot board, assertainin the eggsact increese uv misery
wich I am engoyin, with the above result.
Wen I wuz draftid, I wuz'nt particularly dissatisfied. My
posishen wuz becomin precarious. Looizer Jane (the wife uv
my buzum) had cut off my supplies, and wuz a wasting the
money she reseevd fer washin on bread and clothes fer the
childern, and misunderstandins and coolnisses ensood. I whaled
her in the afternoon, when she wuz tired, and she whaled me
in the mornin, when she wuz fresh. Had I expendid the
energy and strength consoomd in whalin Looizer Jane in
choppin cord-wood, I mite hev owned a farm. I then tried
the credit system, but the unanimity with which the barkeepers
all remarkt that “that thing wuz played out,” wuz
trooly surprisin to the undersined.
Knowin that I cood at any time desert to my Suthern frends,
I felt satisfied at bein draftid. Sence my enrollment in the
ranks uv the Pelicans, the romance uv the thing hez departid.
Nothin to eat, nothin to wear, no money, and hard work. This
is our fix. The plump, rosy Nasby is no more — anserin to his
name is a lean individual, upon whose nose a bullet cood be
split.
I determined to better myself by marriage. The idee wuz
sejestid by our second corpral, who interdoost me to a widder
lady who lived jest out uv town — the owner uv two thousand
akers. The akers inspired me, and I prest my soot with
vigger and arder. In a week the thing wuz dun. I caught
the regimental chaplin sober enuff wun nite, and we wuz
married.
Fer a day I wuz a happy man. I contemplatid MY plantashen,
and wept teers uv joy. Suddenly my happiness bustid.
The sargent informed me that my wife — the future sharer uv
my joys and sorrers — wuz a OCTOROON, one-eighth NIGGER! —
that she wuz a slave left in charge by her mistress, and that
the corpral did it jest for a goak! A purty goak to play upon
a Dimekrat! Nasby marryin a nigger!
My views hev changed on the slavery question. Amalgamashen
is the cuss uv slavery. The blacks hev bleached and
bleached, until it is almost impossible to distinguish the slave
from his owner. Wen the mix becomes wuss, wat then? Wen
the slave is ez white ez his master, wat are yoo goin to do?
Slavery, like a man with a tape-worm, hez within itself the elements
necessary to its destruction. Amalgamashen is the
tape-worm uv slavery.
