128. CXXVIII.
MR. NASBY'S ACCOUNT OF HIS STEWARDSHIP. —
LAYING THE CORNER STONE OF THE COLLEGE
EDIFICE.
Post Offis, Confedrit × Roads }
(Wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky),
Janooary 2, 1866.
On my return from my trip to North Karliny ther wuz an
immejit and irrepressible desire on the part uv the Trustees
uv the Institoot, to hev a statement from me uv the results of
the trip. Much hed bin expectid from the vencher, and the
expectashuns uv the Trustees wuz riz to a pitch from wich I
felt it wuz crooil to hurl em. Therefore I dodged em, until
finally, bein badgered, I thot I wood end it. Hevin prepared
the dockyments, I named the Post Offis ez the place, and the
mornin uv the 1st instant ez the time, to make an exhibit uv
the receets and expenditoors uv the trip. Deekin Pogram,
Colonel McPelter, and Elder Slathers were promptly on hand,
and so wuz I, with the statement, wich I red to em ez follows:
—
PETROLEUM V. NASBY, in account with the Southern
Classikle and Military Institoot Fund:
|
Dr. |
| To cash uv Kernel Abslum Podgers, for self |
$200 00 |
| To cash uv Kernel Abslum Podgers, for wife |
100 00 |
To cash uv Square Davis, proceeds uv the sale uv one
nigger boy Jim, convicted uv steelin a red herrin,
generously donated |
50 00 |
To cash uv Major Galbreth, bein all he hed left after
gettin a pardon from the President through Mrs.
Cobb |
1 00 |
To cash uv John Kessick, who encourages the Institoot,
intendin to come here to start a grocery, ez
soon ez it gits fairly a goin |
10 00 |
| To cash uv divers and sundry persons |
20 00 |
| Grand totle |
$381 00 |
|
Cr. |
By ralerode fare, the conductors unanimously refoosin
to ded hed me either in my clericle, offishel, or benevolent
character |
$30 00 |
| By refreshments, and meal after refreshments |
90 |
| By more refreshments |
15 |
| By bottle uv refreshments to use on cars |
1 50 |
| By refreshments at station |
15 |
| By refreshments at various places |
60 00 |
| By board at Rawley |
60 00 |
By refreshments at Rawley, wich comes high, bein 25
cts. strate |
70 00 |
| By livery hire in that vicinity |
90 00 |
By refreshments for self and driver, includin broken
axels and sich |
25 00 |
| By meals for self and driver |
3 00 |
By fare back home, wich cost more owin to my comin
a round about way |
50 00 |
| Grand totle |
$390 70 |
| Leavin a balance in my favor of $9 70. |
|
The brethren wuz somewat disappointed at the result, and
Bascom intimated that he bleeved it wuz a d—d swindle; but
I withered him with a glance. I showed Deekin Pogram that
it wuz not only reglar, but that it hed the stamp uv the Post
Offis onto it, wich silenced all cavil. I asshoored em that that
little balance needn't trouble em — I did not intend to make
an assessment onto em, but that I cood wait until the treasury
wuz in funds.
“But,” sed Bascom, “when in thunder will the treasury ever
be in funds, ef all the expedishuns result like this one?”
I explained to the obtoose man that it wuz all rite; that in
most uv sich enterprises the expenses eat up the collekshuns,
but that it wuz seed sown. “We must,” sez I, “raise the wind
from the North, and to do it, let us show that suthin hez bin dun.”
“Wat kin we do?” sed Bascom.
“Lay the corner stun uv the Institoot?” sez I. “On the
square forninst us is the corner stun uv the nigger church we
burnt a month or so ago, ready to our hand. Let us organize
a percession and do it to-day, that we may publish to the world
that the work is commenced, that our friends may shell out
libreller than they hev.”
The idea wuz considered good, and forthwith it wuz actid
upon. The stone wuz conveyed to the feeld onto wich the
Institoot is to be built, and a cavity wuz hollered out into it.
At 4 P. M. (wich is in the afternoon) a percession wuz formed,
headed by the Trustees, and we marched out to the feeld. Into
the cavity in the stun wuz deposited, with approprit ceremonies,
the followin articles: —
A copy uv the Constooshen uv the Confedrit States uv
America. A copy uv the message uv Androo Johnson vetoin
the Freedmen's Buro Bill. A copy uv the 22d uv Febrooary
speech. Portrates uv the Trustees. A copy uv the veto uv
the Civil Rites Bill. A pair uv handcuffs. Portrates uv President
Johnson and Secretary Seward. A nigger whip. A $5
greenback contribbited for the purpose by Elder Pennibacker.
A pint bottle uv whisky, seeled, contribbited by Bascom.
Then the stun wuz placed in posishen, and after a few feelin
remarks by myself, in wich I stated that this wuz a grate day
for the Corners, and that posterity wood bless us for the work
we hed that day done, the crowd dispersed, the Trustees goin
back to my offis to draw up a statement uv the ceremonies, and
an appele to the northern Dimocrisy for aid.
That nite about 9 P. M., I wuz a sittin in my offis a musin
onto the evence uv the day, and wonderin whether the Dimocrisy
wood give down, it okkured to me that there wuz a pint
bottle uv first-class corn whisky, and $5 in currency, agoin to
waste in that stun.
“Wat'll posterity ever know uv us?” thot I to myself.
“Ef posterity does ever overturn that stun, won't she git jest
ez good an idea uv who we wuz from the other articles? Ef
posterity ever reads the speeches uv His Eggslency, and the
messages wich we hev placed there, won't the whisky be
inferred? Ef it ain't, posterity is a consumate ass;” and thus
musin, I wended my way thitherward, determined to reskoo
these two articles from oblivion any how.
It wuz pitch dark, but I knew the way. Creepin cautiously
up to the stun, I reached out; and horror! Ther wuz other
hands onto it! Strikin a match quickly, there stood reveeled
afore me the forms uv Deekin Pogram, Bascom, and Elder
Slathers, to whom the same thot hed occurred wich moved me.
But my presence uv mind did not forsake me. Strikin another
match, I assoomed a look uv virchus indiguashen, wich they all
saw afore it went out, and reproacht em fur ther worldly-mindednis.
How cood they expect the Institoot to prosper
when those into whose hands its interests wuz confided, proves
recreant to the extent uv steeling the sacred mementoes wich
were to-day enclosed. “Go home,” sed I; “I forgive you this
time, and will not expose yoo ez yoo deserve. I spected yoo
all, from the way yoo eyed the bottle and the greenback, and
hastened hither to protect em. Go!”
And they went; after wich I tipped over the stun and
sekoored the prize.
The next mornin they all reproached me with hevin stolen
the articles, in privit, wich satisfied me that all uv em hed gone
back for the plunder after they thot I'd gone; but they didn't
make no fuss about it. They are all good men; but alas! sich
is the depravity uv human nacher that they'll bear watchin.
Petroleum V. Nasby, P. M.
(wich is Postmaster), and likewise Professor.
