University of Virginia Library

175. CLXXV.
MR. NASBY WITNESSES A PROCESSION OF THE
SONS OF ERIN.

I happened to be in Albany, wich is in the State uv Noo
York, on St. Patrick's Day, and wuz a gratified and pleased
observer uv the percession in honor uv the patron saint uv the
Green Isle. It wuz a gorgeous site, and one wich warmed my
heart. There wuz men in cockt hats on horseback, with green
sashes onto em; there wuz officers uv the various societies in
carriages, with green sashes onto em; there wuz the sturdy
sons uv Erin on foot, with green sashes onto em, all walkin or
ridin, serene in the knowledge uv the fact that, no matter
what cussed macheens mite be invented for diggin on railroads,

or carryin brick and mortar to the tops uv buildins, none
uv em sed macheens cood ever vote. Then the enthoosiasm
uv the Dimocratic offis-holders uv Albany exceeded anythin I
ever witnest. The Dimocratic members uv the Legislacher,
and the state and county offishils, wuz all in conspikuos posishens,
the high ones bowin urbanely, and the low ones cheerin
vociferously. I wuz at a winder uv the Delevan House, — at
wich, ez I hed no baggage, I hed taken the precaution to pay
in advance, for fear I mite, absent-mindedly, leave without
payin my board, wich I did at the suggestion uv the gentlemanly
and urbane clerk, — when I wuz roodly pusht aside
by an impetuous gentleman. Noticin that he wuz a small
man, I seized him, and demanded wat in blazes he meant by
pushin me. “My dear sir,” sed he, in agony, “please give me
yoor place — do give me yoor place! I am a candidate for
alderman next spring!” Pityin him, I yeelded, and in a minit
he wuz a wavin a green flag from the winder, and shoutin
“Rah!” with all the venom that wuz in him. Ez I lookt at
him and the other expectants, I cood not help thinkin wat a
happiness it must be to be an Irishman in Ameriky.

The next mornin I opened the paper, and read the account
uv the banquet the previous evenin. My respeck for the
Celtic race increased largely ez I read. I learned from the
speeches made at that banquet by invited Dimocratic guests
who wuz present, and the letters from distinguished Dimocrats
who hed been invitid but who wuz not present, that the
Irish not only diskivered Ameriky, but that they won the independence
uv the colonies, beat the British in 1812, carried
on the Mexikin war, and finally, alone and unaided, put down
the late onpleasantnis. One speeker, who expects to be Mayor
uv Albany, expresst it ez his beleef that the magnetic needle,
gunpowder, and the telegraff wuz the invenshun uv Irishmen.

The letters written by the leadin Dimocrats uv the State, to
be read at the banquet, tetched me. Governor Hoffman paid
a fittin triboot to St. Patrick, and remarkt that it wuz the first
time for years that he hed omitted to take some part in the
celebrashen uv St. Patrick's Day, and the thought cut him to
the quick. Champlain, the Attorney-General uv Noo York,
remarkt that ez Irishmen hed borne so honorable a part in

everything that hez tended to increase the moral, intellectooal,
and physikle strength uv the country, his sympathy twines
closter and closter around em, and that he consekently shuddered
at the prospeckt uv any obstruction being placed in the
way uv their bein made citizens ez fast ez possible.

The other letters from distinguisht Noo Yorkers wuz mostly
uv the same tenor.

Ez I wuz readin this, and thinkin to myself how the leadin Dimocrats
uv Noo York never forget that there's an eleckshen
ahead, I fell asleep, and in that sleep I hed a most curious vision.

Methawt I wuz set ahead twenty years. The fifteenth
amendment hed bin passed, and the niggers wuz all voters. I
wuz sittin by my winder in the Delevan House, when the
sound uv brass moosic broke the fearful stillnis that yoosually
pervades the streets uv that city. A percession hove in site,
and, to my horror, they wuz niggers! There wuz niggers in
cockt hats on horseback, niggers in carriages with banners,
and niggers on foot.

“Wat is this?” askt I, in indignashen.

“Why, it's a celebration uv the birthday uv St. Gumbo, the
patron saint uv Afriky!” remarkt a Dimocratic alderman, who
stood beside me. “Hurrah! Hurrah!” shreeked he, pushin
me asside, and bendin his head out uv the winder so ez to be
seen, wavin vociferously a black flag, wich I learned hed bin
adopted ez the nashnel color uv the Afrikins in Ameriky. The
enthoosiastic alderman wuz rewarded for his eggsertions with
a grashus smile from a pekoolerly disgustin black nigger with
a sash onto him, who wuz seeted in a baroosh.

“Rah! Rah!” shouted the Dimocrisy from all the winders ez
the percession filed by. Ez they wound their way up to the
Capitol, I notist the entire buildin wuz decorated with black
flags in honor uv the day, and to my disgust I wuz informed
that the state officers wuz all Dimocrats.

In my dream I picked up the Dimocratic papers the next
morning, and read an account uv the banquet that took place
that evening. I notist some familyer names appended to ruther
familyer-looking letters.

Hoffman, who hed got to be a Senator, addrest the Chairman
uv the Committee on Invitashens ez “Ceezer Squash, Esq.:

My deer sir”! and remarkt that it wuz the first time for yeers
that he'd not taken some part in the celebrashen uv “St. Gumbo's
Day,” but biznis preventid. He regrettid deeply that he
cood not be present and jine in the festivities. “Convey to
the noble sons of Afriky present,” he went on to say, “my
sense uv the honor conferred upon me, and my ashoorance that
ez my heart beats, it shel beat in yoonison with theirn. I recognize
the valyoo uv the Afrikin populashen to our common
country, and yeeld to no one in admirashen uv their noble
qualities. I am, sir, yoor most obedient servant.”

Smotherin my disgust at this performance, I read on.

Champlain, who wuz by this time Governor uv Noo York,
hevin receeved all the nigger votes, and wuz a candidate for
re-elekshun, remarkt in his letter that offishel biznis prevented
him from attendin. “It is most nateral,” he remarkt, “for
Amerikins to yoonite with Afrikins everywhere, and he felt it
the more ez he thought uv the honorable part the Afrikins hed
borne in all that hez tendid to increase the moral, intellectooal,
and physikle strength uv our growin country.”

The other letters and toasts were ez much like these ez two
peas. They all expressed highest devoshen for the Afrikin
race, and the most ardent admirashen for the Afrikin character.
One enthoosiastic Dimocrat, who was a candidate for Prison
Inspector, or suthin, went so far ez to remark that he had a
rite to be present, ez he wuz proud to say his grandmother, on
his father's side, hed Afrikin blood in her veins, and out uv regard
for her he hed named his two darlin children respectively
Pompey and Phillis.

He loved the Afrikin race, and wuz proud that he cood lay
his hand on his heart and say, “I too am an Afrikin!”

Another lamentid that he cood not say he hed Afrikin blood
in his veins, and Fernandy Wood, who still wantid to be Mayor
uv Noo York, proposed the health uv the late Fred Douglas,
to wich Jim Brooks respondid. John Morrissey proposed the
memry uv Fred Douglas, and Ben Wood the health uv William
Wells Brown.

In fact so ardent wuz the admirashen uv the grate lites uv
the Dimocrisy for the Afrikin, that, in my dream, I regretted
that I hed not bin born in Afriky.

At this pint I woke, pleased at findin that wat I hed seen
and read wuz all a dream, that the paper I held in my hand
cortained an account uv an Irish and not a nigger celebrashen,
and that the names uv Hoffman and Champlain wuz appended
to letters addressed to Irishmen only. But I wuz sad after all.
When the cussid amendment is a part of the soopreme law uv
the land, and the niggers hev votes, will not these men court
em and fondle em the same ez they do other men with ballots?
thought I. Will there not be then the same reason for slobberin
Pompey that there now is for slobberin Patrick? Will
not the ardent Dimocrat in pursoot uv votes forgit that he is
uv the proud Caucashen race, and stoop to caress an inferior?
I fear me!