58. LVIII.
HAS A DIFFICULTY WITH HIS FLOCK AND
LEAVES IT.
Onto the Wing, }
November the 18th, 1864.
The die is cast! All is ore! Ef Freedom shreekt when
Kossikusco fell, she must hev squawkt last Toosdy nite ez she
beheld the innanimate corpse uv the Dimekratik party, which
fell, crushing Little Mack, and the hopes uv sum hundreds uv
thousans uv good Dimekrats, who spectid to be persuadid
by ther frends into acceptin the various offisis under the
guverment.
I am a lost and rooined man. My people are uv the troo
Dimekratik stripe. They hed faith in me. They bleeved wat
I told em. I told em Micklellan wuz certain uv the elecshun,
and that I hed ded-wood on the disposal uv the offisis in that
seckshun. It immejitly become a easy matter to borrer money.
It wuz deliteful — wood, O wood that it cood hev bin perpetooal!
Brother Savage lent me $50, with a request that I
wood speak a good word for him for a furrin mishn. I
assoomed a virchus look, and replied that I never sold my
inflooence, but that I alluz had a admirashen for his massive
intellek and many virchoos. Brother Guttle lent me money,
wantin this, and Brother Sludge wantin that; in breef, evry
individooal uv em who hed a forhead a inch high, spectid
suthin.
The returns cum in. Ohio — Linkin! “Good! 'Rah!”
shouts I, with great presence uv mind.
“Why good?” anxshusly asks the expectants.
“Becoz, to carry Ohio, the Ablishnists must hev brot votes
from Noo York, wich will give us that state, shoor.”
Noo York — Linkin!
“Good Lord!” answers I, promptly; “the Noo York Ablishnists
must hev voted in Ohio, and hev got home in time to vote
agin. But wait for Pennsilvany.”
Pennsilvany — Linkin!
“My frends, ther wuz fraud — Massachoosits soljers, at least
40,000, must hev voted there. Indiana will do it, however.”
Indiana — Linkin!
“Not less than 40,000 Massachoosits soljers hev voted there.
Illinois is safe, though.”
Illinois — Linkin.
“40,000 Massachoo—”
“Give me my money!” roard Savage, and the same remark,
with variashens, wuz made by Guttle, Sludge, and the rest
uv em.
“Gently, my frends,” sed I, backin out uv the door. “We
hev bin defeated but the great principle that a white man is
better than a nigger, for wich we hev so long fought, still lives,
Let us sink all minor considrashens, and —”
The minor considerashens I referred to wuz, however,
uppermost in their minds, for they all went for me, yellin
like Cuscororious Injins, “Give me my money!” whereupon I
retreated to the meetin-house, lockin myself in. They surrounded
it, swearin they'd starve me out.
When a innocent boy, I read a harrowin tale uv a Rooshn
mother, who wuz persood by frantic wolves, and who saved her
own life by droppin her children to em, wun by wun. My
privit barrel uv whisky wuz in my study — I wuz saved!
I histid it out uv a winder, and calmly awaited results. They
flockt around it — they took turns at the bung-hole. In wun
short hour they wuz stretched helpless on the plain, dead
drunk. Then and there I resined my charge, and borrerin
sich money and watches ez the ungrateful wretches hed about
em, to make up arrears uv salary and sich, bid adoo to em
forever. I shel go to Noo Jersy.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo Dispensashun.
