72. LXXII.
SUM NATRAL HISTORY.
“The Clam.”—The claim iz a bulbous plant, and
resides on the under side ov the water. He iz born
az the birds are, but don't cum out ov his shell. He
iz deserted by his parents, at a young and tender
age, but don't bekum clamarous on this akount, but
sits still, and keeps watch with hiz mouth, for sumthin
tew cum along.
Hiz temper iz sed tew be cold, and clammy, but
he must have a relish for sumthing, for hiz mouth
waters aul the time. He iz the life ov the kompany
at a clam-bake, and sumtimes may be seen sunning
a half bushell ov himself, in front ov a grocery, and
quite often 13 ov them, under the temporarious excitement
ov salt and peppersas, hav bin known tew
peal, and pitch into a man belo the belt, and kick
up-a devil ov a muss with him.
The clam and the oyster are cuzzins, but the oyster
haz the best edukashun ov the two; their habits
are simlar, but thare iz a grate diffrence in the thickness
ov their skulls, and in the softness ov their
brains; the oyster would shine az a poet, in the collums
of the monthly * * * * *, while the clam
might do the fish market report for the New York
daily * * * * *.
Thare iz nothing more docile than the clam, and
altho they sumtimes git into a stew, they are az eazy
tew lay yure hand on, and ketch, az a stun, but they
are like an injun, not very talky; they hav got an
impediment in their noize; their lips open with too
much titeness, and their mouth iz tew full ov tongue
tew be glib.
Thare iz az mutch difference in the breed ov clams,
az thare iz in the breed ov christians; sum are so tender;
and sum are so tuff,—sum are good on the half
shell, at a minnitt's notis, and sum want az mutch
biling az a hoss shu, and then will stand a good deal
ov chawing besides.
Clams were fust diskovered, az the meazles waz, by
being caught. How long a clam kan live I don't
beleaf they kan tell themselfs, probably 5 thousand
years, but a large share ov this time iz wasted; a
clam's time aint worth mutch, only tew grow tuff in;
it is jiss so with sum other folks I kno ov.
“The Crab.”—Natur is fond ov a joke.
She must have felt full ov fun, when she made a
soft shell crab. The strongest emotion the crab haz
iz tew bite. They aint afrade tew bite a sawlog, or
a black bear. They are born in the water, but they
kan live out doors on the land as long az they kan
find ennything tew bite.
They hav several leggs, which are aul lokated on
the starboard side ov their person. Crabs liv under
cover, like the mud turtles, but they move evry fust
ov May, into a new one.
They are sed tew be good eating, but you wouldn't
think so tew stand and look at them; it would bother
a stranger tew tell where tew begin; it would be a
good deal like trying tew make a sudden dinner out
ov a kross kut saw.
They are biled in a pot, about 3 bushels ov them,
until they stop biting, and then they are done, and
are et by throwing away the boddy, and sucking the
pith out ov the limbs. It is a good deal like trieng
tew get the meat out ov a grasshopper's leggs. It is
considered a good day's work to git one dinner out
of biled crabs; I think perhaps a person mite sustane
life on them, but he would hav tew work nite and
day to do it, and keep a smart man biling crabs aul
the time. Crabs bite with their feet, and hang on
like a country couzin.
