12. XII.
COLD PIECES.
It don't appear tew me that envy kan pay well,
for those whom we envy most are alwus envying
somebody else.
Hope often cheats us, but yet how eazy it is tew
forgiv the sassy jade.
Men ov talents kan be criticised, but a genius
kant,—criticism is a mere string and plummet,—the
eagle roosts too hi for tape lines.
Mi idee ov fust-rate poetry iz that kind that reads
just exactly az I should have wrote it.
Yu kant phool a wise man with praise that aint
true.
Persekution will make even kanada thissells grow.
If you trade with a Yankee, steal hiz jack-knife
fust; for if he gits tew whitling, yu are gone in
spite of thunder.
Passion makes more mistakes than ignorance duz.
Fools don't kno their strength; if they did, they
would keep still.
Buty iz a dangerous gift; for it is seldum accompanied
with much virtue, energy, or wisdum.
Most ennyboddy kan slide down hill: thare iz
only now and then one who can slide up hill.
A man may be a very good judge ov a county
court, and yet be a very poor judge ov himself.
What a cumfort it iz tew be pittyed by a 200-thousand-dollar
friend! tew be told that better daze
are coming! that perseverance will overkum all
obstakles! such a warm friend iz just about az
much use to you az a painted sun, on a garden wall,
would be to ripen sass with, in a cloudy day.
One ov mi ideas ov a perfect gentleman iz, the
man who is eazy to please.
I kno ov no love, that is so much love, and
nothing else, az the love ov a father for a daughter.
I love the old primeval forests. I love them bekause
they kant be cut up tew enny advantage into
village lots.
I hav got a dreadful poor memory, and think I
aint sorry for it, for mi experiences in life, thus far,
have 2 thirds ov them been more pleasant tew forgit
than tew remember
Tru happiness seems tew consist in wanting awl
that we kan enjoy, and then gitting awl we want.
I don't belief in total abstinence, enny more than
I belief in total blindness, but I do belief in the
reasonable gratification ov awl the desires that God
haz given us.
Politeness iz dreadful simple if yu take the ceremony
out ov it, but, in sifting out the ceremony,
yu will often sift out the politeness.
The most selfish persons I hav ever known hav
been those who are alwus professing grate luv for
others.
Prudery iz virtue, always willing to be tempted.
Thare iz nothing that will hu a man tew a sharp
point like adversity,—adversity iz the hunger ov the
soul.
Gold iz the standard ov value, but wisdum iz the
standard ov perfekshun; united, they are the
standard-bearers ov the world.
