Pokipsy, Feb. 12th, 1867.
Smith, mi Dear:
This day, at 10 o'clock A. M., I cum in contact
with your letter, and was real glad tew hear from
yu. How do you like being Cor. Sek. ov a LyAssoci'?
It is a light, pretty bizziness, and don't
require much capital.
Let me ask you if you are any relashun to
Jake Smith, the hatter. If yu are, forgit it, for
Jake is a common cuss.
The Smiths are a good family, and prevail
more permiskus, than enny kind ov folks that i
kno ov, but it would be unnatral in the highest
if thare want sum, whare they was so thick, that
was wuss than the rest.
Did yu ever read history, Ezra? If yu didn't
yu will be serprised teu hear that John Smith
married Pokerhontas, the dauter ov Powhattan,
the injun boss.
The way this happened was so: Smith was about
gitting slewed, when Pokerhontas went in, and fell
flat on him. Old Powhattan giv it up, and Pokerhontas
had Smith, and Smith settled down and
went into the injin bizzness, in a small way, on his
own hook.
This is the grist ov the story.
Tis one ov the most affektingest transactions on
file.
Yu ought teu read history, Ezra; it will learn yu
informashun, and give you a knolledge ov edukashun.
[ILLUSTRATION]
The artist takes a poetic license with Mr. Billings' Story of Pocahontas, and represents
John Smith getting "slewed" in a modern bar-room.—See page 134.
[Description: 675EAF. Illustration page. Image of a Native American woman grabbing a man by the ear. The woman is wearing
some pseudo-Indian outfit and a headband with some feathers in it, and she is carrying a basket labeled "matches" over one arm.
The man is dressed like a pilgrim, with a big hat and shoes with large buckles on them. The man is holding a glass in one hand.]
I forgot tew state, that John Smith lived somwhare
in pensylvany, at the time his transakshun
with Pokerhontas took place, and if he aint dead
probably lives there now. Thare is one fust rate
thing about history: it is alwus true; if it aint true,
it aint history, so if yu larn it onst, yu never have
tew unharness.
But most poetri, and piktorials, and novels, lie
wuss than an east wind; the fuller a man gits ov
them over night, the more room thare iz in him the
next day, for sum more.
John Smith, who had the transaction with Pokerhontas,
had an immense invoice ov boys; thare is 13
ov that name in our town this morning, besides several
who hav either died or gone to Denver Citty.
Did it ever strike yu, Ezra, that death was one ov
the most remarkable things that could happen tew a
man?
A man may be ritch, and kno history just like
slapjacks for breakfast, and be handsum, able tew
lift a ton without thinking, but death beats awl these
just as easy as biting crackers.
Death seems tew be as far as a man can git; when a
man aquires that thoroughly, his ambishun seems
tew be satisfied.
One man can be ritcher, and lift more than
another, but he kant be enny more deader.
I am glad thare is one thing in this world, that is
enuff for man.
Speaking ov man, Ezra, dew yu konsider him a
suckcess yet, or has he got tew try again?
History has a good deal tew say about man, that
don't allude tew his suckcess.
Adew, Ezra.
Yures, full ov oats,
Josh Billings.
