35. XXXV.
NUZE CUTS FROM OUR EXCHANGES.
The “Shanghi Dispatch” advertises for “a Devil,
not over 14 years ov good moral karacter.—References
exchanged.—The young Devil will be expekted
tew board with his father, espeshily during
the cold weather.”
The “Nevada Brick” says, “thare will be a total
eklips of the moon, next month, visibel with the naked eye, only tew the subskribers ov the “Brick.”
Send in your subskriptions for the year at onst.
The “Mock Turtle Bulletin” learns “that onions
in his lokality won't be more than half a crop,
owing tew the number ov akers sewed, and the
small size of the seed,” and advises hiz patrons
“tew lay in their assyfedity now, for the winter, while
it iz low.”
The “Mohunk Ledger” “highsts the name ov
John tyler, solitary and alone, for the next president,
and gives hiz reasons.”—(We doubt the polisy
of this nominashun, for he haz bin run into the
ground onse already.)
The “Mutton Hollow Day Book & People's Register”
thus reports the acksident, ov a moral karacter,
on the Peuterville railroad. “The konduktor ov the
10.15 train going east, when he got tew the end ov
his route, had 19 dollars he couldn't account for.
This iz the fust acksident ov the kind, ever diskovered
on the road, and we kan assure the traveling
publik, will probably be the last.”
The “Reedsburgh Journal” “learns from good
authority, that the wife ov a laborer, in that vicinity,
gave birth tew six fine healthy children,” and then
adds, “but not awl tew onst.”
The “Olive Branch,” a black republikan sheet,
sez, “the grasshoppers, having et up everything
green thing in our naberhood, hav pitched onto
things blue, sech az whetstones, and demokrats, and
are dieing oph bi the thousands, in consequentz.”
The “Oakville Banner” don't beleave in the above
akount, and adds, “the fackt that the editor of the
“Olive Branch” still lives, iz proof enuff that the
green things aint all destroyed yet.”
In the colums of the “Weekly Bred,” of date Oct.
16, we see it announced, that “the sorrel Hen ov
deakon Abijeir Phillips lade an egg which weighed,
after it waz kold, 7 pounds with an affidavit tew it,
before Square Sturgiss, justis of peace.” And then
the editor goes on to say, “the hen haz bin dewing
better ever sinse.”—(We should think it would be
hard work for her tew do mutch better.)
The “Monthly Reckord” learns, thru her country
correspondent, “that the maple sugar krop will be
bigger next year, than for the last 90 years, and that
we shall have a dreadful hard winter, for the geese
are getting reddy; he never knu them so tuff tew
bile, as they are this fall.”
The “Perary Flower” cums tew us with a long
and Abel artikle on punkin pize. The editor sez,
“he waz early from konnekticut, and waz born on
punkin pi, and would be willing tew die on them
almost, with nutmeg in them. He remembers distinktly,
how hiz grate grandmother used tew mix
them up, and how he used tew dip into the mix, on
the sli.” He further winds up bi saying, “that it iz
az natural for a yankee tew stand on a punkin pi,
az it iz for a setter dorg tew sett on a woodcock, or
a Frenchman tew point on a frog's hind legs.” (I
agree with this feller fully; i waz onse from Nu
England myself, and punkin pize waz the fust real
sass ov mi boyhood, and at this late time ov day,
seems to be the principle swivel in the chain, that
binds me tew the land whare basswood punkin
seeds, and wooden nutmegs, are grown only for
exportation.
