60. LX.
JOSH CHAWS HIS CUD.
Earthli glory is sum like potatoze on very ritch
sile,—top plenty,—tater skase.
It aint so much trouble tew git ritch, as it is tew
tell when we hav got ritch.
The most bitter sarkasm sleeps in silent words.
It is unkommon hard tew annihilate a man with
words,—altho it is often undertook.
Hope is evryboddy's handmaid—she is a sli coquet
and promises menny favors, but grants only a fu,
and them are badly diskounted.
If yu want tew git at the circumference ov a man,
examine him among men,—but if yu want tew get
at his aktual diameter, meazure him at his fireside.
Thare is nothing so difficult tew hide as our follys.
Thare seems tew be 4 styles ov mind,—
1st, them who know it iz so!
2d, them who know it aint so!
3rd, them who split the difference, and guess at it!
4th, them who don't care a darn which way it is!
Thare is but few men who hav karackter enuff tew
lead a life ov idleness.
True Love is spelt just the same in Choctaw, as it
is in English.
Thoze who retire from the world on akount ov its
sin and peskyness, must not forgit that they hav
got tew keep kompany with a person who wants just
as much watching as ennyboddy else.
Buty that don't make a woman vain makes her
very butiful.
A puppy plays with evry pup he meets, but old
dorgs hav but fu associates.
He who buys what he kant want, will ear long
want what he kant buy.
It kosts a good deal tew be wise, but it don't kost
ennything tew be happy.
Necessity begot Invenshun, Invenshun begot Convenience,
Convenience begot Pleasure, Pleasure begot
Luxury, Luxury begot Riot and Disease, Riot
and Disease, between them, begot Poverty, and Poverty
begot Necessity again,—this is the revolushun
ov man, and is about aul he kan brag on.
Power either makes a man a tyrant, or a tool.
Thare is no such thing as flattery,—if commendashun
is deserved, it is no flattery, but truth, and if
commendashun is underserved, it is not flattery, but
slander.
“Man was kreated a little lower than the Angels,”
—and it is lucky for the said Angels that he was.
“The luxury ov grief!”—this, i take it, means tew
hav yure old unkle die, and leave yu $9000, and yu
cry.
“Love lies bleeding!”—this is probably one ov the
bludiest lies that ever was told.
[ILLUSTRATION]
The artist here represents NEATNESS (when carried too far) as a Roman Warrior,
armed with every symbol of house-cleaning apparatus, and waging war upon all unoffending
people who are not willing to have their apartments thoroughly cleaned every day.—See page 193.
[Description: 675EAF. Illustration page. Image of a man dressed as a Roman warrior with dustpans and brushes for armor and weapons.]
