44. XLIV.
ESSA ON SWINE.
Hogs generally are quadriped.
The extreme length ov their antiquity haz never
been fully discovered; they existed a long time
before the flood, and hav existed a long time since.
There iz a grate deal ov internal revenew in a hog,
thare ain't mutch more waste in them than thare iz
in a oyster.
Even their tails can be wurked up into whissells.
Hogs are good quiet boarders; they alwus eat
what iz set before them, and don't ask enny foolish
questions.
They never hav enny disseaze but the meazles,
and they never hav that but once; once seems to
satisfy them.
Thare iz a grate menny breeds amongst them.
Sum are a close corporation breed, and sum are
bilt more apart, like a hemlock slab.
They used to hav a breed in New England, a few
years ago, which they called the striped hog breed.
This breed waz in high repute among the landlords;
almost evry tavern keeper had one, which he used
tew show tew travelers, and brag on him.
Sum are full in the face, like a town clock, and
some are az long and lean az a cow-catcher, with a
steel pinted noze on them.
They kan awl rute well; a hog that kant rute well,
haz bin made in vain.
They are a short lived animal, and generally die
az soon az they git fatt.
The hog kan be larnt a grate menny cunning
things, such az highsting the front gate off from the
hinges, tipping over the swill barrells, and finding a
hole in the fence to git into a cornfield, but thare
ain't enny length tew their memory; it iz awful hard
work for them tew find the same hole to git out at,
espeshly if yu are at all anxious they should.
Hogs are very kontrary, and seldom drive well
the same way yu are going; they drive the most the
other way; this haz never bin fully explained, but
speaks volumes for the hog.
