5. V
GOOSE TALK.
The goose is a grass-animal but don't chaw her
cud.
They are good livers; about one aker to a goose
iz enuff, altho there iz sum folks who thinks one
goose tew 175 akers, is nearer right.
These two calculations are so fur apart, it iz difficult
tew tell now, which will finally win.
But i don't think, if i had a farm ov 175 akers,
awl paid for, that i would sell it for half what it was
worth, just bekauze it didn't hav but one goose on
it. Geese stay well; sum ov our best biographers
say, 70 years, and grow tuff tew the last.
They lay one egg at once, about the size of a
goose egg, in which the gosling lies hidd.
The gosling iz the goose's babe.
The goose don't suckle hiz young, but turns him
out tew pasture on sumboddy's vacant lot.
They seem tew lack wisdum, but are considered
generally sound on the goose.
They are good eating, but not good chawing; the
reason ov this remains a profound sekret to this day.
When the femail goose iz at work hatching, she
iz a hard bird tew pleaze; she riles clear up from the
bottom in a minnit, and will fight a yoke ov oxen,
if they show her the least bit ov sass. The geese iz
excellent for feathers, which she sheds every year
by the handful.
They are also amphibicuss, besides several other
kinds ov cuss.
But they are mostly cureiss about one thing:
they kan haul one leg up into their body, and stand
on tuther, awl day, and not tutch ennything with
their hands.
I take notis, thare ain't but darn few men kan
dew this.
