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Josh Billings on ice

and other things
Billings, Josh (1818-1885)
  
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CONTENTS.

 1. 
I. JOSH ON ICE.
 2. 
II. SUM NATRAL HISTORY.
 3. 
III. LIVE YANKEES.
 4. 
IV. LINCH-PINS.
 5. 
V GOOSE TALK.
 6. 
VI. JOSH BILLINGS: HIZ SHADE TREE.
 7. 
VII. JOSH CORRESPONDS FREELY WITH 3 FELLOWS.
 8. 
VIII. MONOGRAFFS.
 9. 
IX. HONESTA IZ THE BEST POLISY.
 10. 
X. GREAT AGRIKULTURAL HOSS-TROTT.
 11. 
XI. JOSH BILLINGS DEFINES HIS POSITION.
 12. 
XII. COLD PIECES.
 13. 
XIII. LETTER FROM JOSH BILLINGS.
 24. 
XXIV. WISDUM CHUNCKS.
 15. 
XV. BILLIARDS.
 16. 
XVI. JOSH BILLINGS “RIZES.”
 17. 
XVII. BILLINGS ON PILLS.
 18. 
XVIII. JOSH IN SARATOGA.
 19. 
XIX. SUM VEGETABEL HISTORY.
 20. 
XX. JOSH REPLIZE TEW CORRESPONDENTS.
 21. 
XXI. LIST OF HOUSEN TEW LET.
 22. 
XXII. LAUGHING.
 23. 
XXIII. LYING.
 24. 
XXIV. PERKUSSION CAPS.
 25. 
XXV. ONE WEEK FROM MY DIAREE.
 26. 
XXVI. AMERIKAN ARISTOKRASY.
 27. 
XXVII. LOVE.
 28. 
XXVIII. THE GAME OF YEWKER.
 29. 
XXIX. NOW AND THEN
 30. 
XXX. OATS.
 31. 
XXXI. WATERFALLS.
 32. 
XXXII. POLITENESS.
 33. 
XXXIII. DREAMS.
 34. 
XXXIV. JOSH CORRESPONDS.
 35. 
XXXV. NUZE CUTS FROM OUR EXCHANGES.
 36. 
XXXVI. DEAD BEATS.
 37. 
XXXVII. SPRING—MAY, 1868.
 38. 
XXXVIII. HARTES.
 39. 
XXXIX. MONOGRAFFS.
 40. 
XL. JOSH BILLINGS AND THE LEKTUR COMMITTY.
 41. 
XLI. ORPHAN CHILDREN.
 42. 
XLII. BILLINGS REPLIZE TEU CORRESPONDENTS.
 43. 
XLIII. CHIPS FROM THE BUTT CUT OV WISDUM.
 44. 
XLIV. ESSA ON SWINE.
 45. 
XLV. ON SOWING MACHINES.
 46. 
XLVI. SUM ADVISE.
 47. 
XLVII. TAKE IT EAZY.
 48. 
XLVIII. JOSH CORRESPONDS.
 49. 
XLIX. THEM GOOD OLD DAZE.
 50. 
L. A HUM TRANSACTION.
 51. 
LI. MILK, WHISKEE AND BEER.
 52. 
LII. PLUCK.
 53. 
LIII. FREE LOVE.
 54. 
LIV. FAST MEN.
 55. 
LV. JOSH REPLIES TO ONE OF HIS CORRESPONDENTS.
 56. 
LVI. HUMAN HAPPINESS.
 57. 
LVII. PHILOSOPHEE OV THE BILLINGS FAMILEE,
 58. 
LVIII. AMERIKANS.
 59. 
LIX. JOSH CLEANS OUT HIS PIGEON-HOLE OF CORRESPONDENTS.
 60. 
LX. JOSH CHAWS HIS CUD.
 61. 
LXI. MONOGRAFFS.
 62. 
LXII. JOSH TALKS.
 63. 
LXIII. GIMBLITS.
 64. 
LXIV. MORE CORRESPONDENCE.
 65. 
LXV. SUM NATRAL HISTORY.
 66. 
LXVI. SLIVVERS OV THOUGHT.
 68. 
LXVIII. THE BUZZERS.
 68. 
LXVIII. MONOGRAFFS.
 69. 
LXIX. PHILOSOPHEE ON THE HALF SHELL.
 70. 
LXX. JOSH EPISTOLATES.
 71. 
LXXI. AULMINAK FOR 1869.
 72. 
LXXII. SUM NATRAL HISTORY.
 73. 
LXXIII. MONOGRAFFS.
 74. 
LXXIV. JOSH DOES UP HIS CORRESPONDENCE.
 75. 
LXXV. CUPID ON A RAID.
 76. 
LXXVI. JOSH COMMUNES WITH HIS FRIENDS.
 77. 
LXXVII. JAW BONES.
 78. 
LXXVIII. MORE PHILOSOPHY.

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11. XI.
JOSH BILLINGS DEFINES HIS POSITION.

Dear World:—

I got yure letter by acksident, and reply verry
mutch az follers:

I am a black Republican, with white antycedents.

I alwus waz agin slavery ov enny kind; not bekause
it was constitutional, but bekause it waz ungodly.

I don't beleave the best judges ov color kan pick
out a negro's soul in the Kingdom ov Heaven.

I believe in the doktrine ov secession—if i don't
like my home, and am 21, i have a rite tew go oph,
but i haint got enny rite tew take the old man's farm
or hiz tin-ware with me.

I am in favor ov being made Post-master in our
city, but i am about the only man that iz, which
speaks well for the disinterestedness ov our citizens.

I am also in favor ov short stories, when a man
haint got mutch tew say.

Yours, tenderly,
Josh Billings.
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