9. IX.
HONESTA IZ THE BEST POLISY.
The author ov this proverb waz either a very
shrude man, or he acksidentily spoke what he didn't
think.
Honesta iz, in mi opinyun, a mere matter ov
polisy.
Man iz, waz, and alwus will be, a dishonest critter
by natur.
It iz az natral for him tew steal when he wants
tew, az it iz tew blo hiz noze.
In order tew git sosiety into decent shape, so that
the masheen could be run without a continual bust,
it waz absolutely necessary that man should make
himself honest.
If that hadn't hav bin did, it wouldn't hav bin
safe tew leave a saw-mill out of doors after dark.
Hence honesta bekum a matter ov polisy, and it
works well.
The fear ov the law here, and the law hereafter,
haz furnished us sum very clever specimens of
Christianity.
Serpoze thare waz no law agin 2 wives, how menny
men iz thare in yure naberhood, that wouldn't
sustain the law?
I hav thought that aul the virtues, and aul the
affekshuns, (except the few which are instinkts, and
which we and the dogs have just about alike,) are
mere opprashuns of polisy.
Ov course the virtews improve by hoeing, and
mankind haz bekum better, just az they hav bekum
richer, by keeping their munny and morals at 10 per
cent. interest.
Menny folks are down on luxurys, and plum puddin,
but i aint; the more puddin folks hav, the more
they will develop.
Stop the hanker in human natur for any more
plum puddin, and nu bonnets, and in about 450
years, men and wimmin would all go tew grass, az
Nebucunesser did.
Once more, honesta and virtew, in the lump, are
not natral, but matters ov polisy; i may be wrong
about this, but if i am, enny boddy else kan git
wrong the same way i hav, by asking himself about
hiz own human natur.
Human natur iz the same aul over north amerika,
except in those places whare they subsist by playing
poker, and thare it depends a good deal upon the
number of aces in a pack; i hav seen sum packs
that had 9 aces in them, upon the principle that 5
aces will beat 4 aces and a king.
