10. X.
GREAT AGRIKULTURAL HOSS-TROTT.
AT BILLINGSVILLE.
Oct. 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, & 20th.
JOSH BILLINGS, REPORTER.
Agrikultur iz the mother ov provisions; she
iz also the grandmother.
If it want for agricultur, thare wouldn't be enny
beans, and if it want for enny beans, thare wouldn't
be enny suckertash.
Agrikultur waz fust diskovered by Cain, and has
been diskovered since to be an honest way to get a
hard living.
Pumpkins owes aul her success tew agrikultur, so
duz lettis, and bukwheat.
The Billingsville agrikultural society opened Oct.
ten, and waz a powerful success.
The reciepts ov the Agrikultural Fair waz upwards
ov $30,000 (if mi memry serves me rite, and i think
she duz.)
The Hon. Virgil Bickerstaff, the next agrikultural
member ov Congress from our district, sold the agrikultur
pools.
FUST DAY.
A puss ov ten dollars was trotted for by sucking
colts, that had never trotted before for munny.
Thare waz thirteen entries.
Thare waz 60,000 people on the track to witness
the rase, (if mi memry serves me rite, and i think she
duz.)
The puss was won amid vociferous exclamashuns
by a red colt, and the waving ov handkerchiefs, with a
strip in his face, and the fainting ov several fust-class
females, and one white foot behind.
SEKOND DAY.
It rained like a perpendikular aul day, and no trotting
could be had, so the audience aul went hum, cussing
and swaring, and offering tew bet four tew six on
the Pete Tucker colt.
THIRD DAY.
The sun highsted up in the east more butyfuller
than i ever saw her before, (if mi memry serves me
rite, and i think she does.)
It waz a fust rate day for agrikultur, or enny other
man.
A puss ov 30 dollars waz trotted for, by sum 2 year
old colts.
This rase did not attract much affection, on account
ov the time being so slow.
Time, 2 minnits and 38 seconds.
FOURTH DAY.
This waz fur 3 or 4 years old, who hadn't never
beat 2.25.
Thare waz 26 entrys; they couldn't aul trot tew
once, so they took turns.
This rase waz won after a bitter contest, by Pete
Tucker's colt.
He waz immediately offered a thousand dollars and
a fust-rate farm, well-stocked, for the colt, by three different
agrikultural men, but with a grate deal ov indignant
good sense, he skorned to stoop so low.
Pete Tucker, and his whole family, are aul hoss.
FIFTH DAY.
It rained agin like thunder and lightning, and the
day waz spent in betting on the weight ov hosses.
Sevral good hoss-swops waz also did.
One man swopped two hosses fur one; this struck
me as a devilish good thing, but everyboddy else said
it waz soft.
At the end ov the fifth day i cum away.
I got so full ov hoss, that ever since when i laff i
kant keep from whinnering.
The fare waz kept up for 10 daze, and sum red hot
time waz made.
I think 2 minnits and 10 sekunds waz made, (if
my memry serves me rite, and i think she duz.)
I forgot tew say that thare was two yoke ov oxens
on the ground, beside sevral yokes ov sheep and a
pile ov carrots, and some worsted work, but they
didn't seem to attrakt enny simpathy.
The people hanker fur pure agrikultural hoss-trots.
