71. LXXI.
AULMINAK FOR 1869.
MARCH.
March begins on Saturday, and hangs on for 31
days.
Saturday, 1st.—Sum wind; look out for squalls,
and pack peddlers; munny iz tight, so are briks.
Ben Jonson had his boots tapped 1574; eggs a dollar
a piece, hens on a strike; mercury 45 degrees above
zero; snow, mixed with wind.
Sunday, 2nd.—Horace Greeley preaches in Grace
church; text, “the gentleman in black,” wind north-west,
with simptoms of dust; hen strike continues;
the ringleaders are finally arrested and sent to pot;
eggs eazier.
Monday, 3rd.—Big wind; omnibus, with 17 passengers
inside, blown over in Broadway; sow lettuce,
and sow on buttons; about these days look out for
wind; Augustus Ceazer sighns the tempranse pledge
1286; strong simptoms ov spring; blue birds and
organ grinders make their appearance; sun sets in
wind.
Tuesday, 4th.—Augustus Ceazer breaks the pledge
1286; “put not your trust in kings, and princes;”
much wind with rain; a whole lot ov naughty children
destroyed in Mercer street by wind; several
gusts ov wind; buckwheat slapjacks invented 1745;
Andy Johnson commits suicide; grate failure in
Wall street; the Bulls fail tew inflate Erie; windy.
Wensday, 5th.—A good day tew set a hen; mutch
wind: “he that spareth the child, hateth the rod;”
wind raises awnings, and hoop skirts; William
Seward resigns in favor ov Fernando Would; Thad
Stevens jines the mormons.
Thursday, 6th.—Wind generally, accompanied with
wind from the east; the Black Crook still rages;
more wind; whisky hots still in favor ov the seller;
sow peas, and punkin pies, for arly sass; babes in
the woods born 1600; wind threatens.
Friday, 7th.—Fred Douglass nominated for president
by the demokrats; black clouds in the west;
wind brewing; grate scare in Nassau street; a man
runs over a horce; Docktors Pug and Bug in immediate
attendance; horce not expekted tew live. Rain
and snow and wind and mud, about equally mixt.
Saturday, 8th.—Horce more easier this morning;
mint julips offered, but no takers. About these days
expect wind; wind from the northwest; a good day
for wind mills. Half-past 5 o'clock, P. M., the following
notis appears on all the bulletin boards.
“Doctor Pug thinks the horce, with the most skillful
treatment at the hands ov the attendant physicians,
may possibly be rendered suitable for a clam
waggon, and Doctor Bug corroborates Pug,
provided,
the oleaginous dipthong that connects the parodial
glysses with the nervaqular episode, is not
displaced; if so, the most consumit skill ov the
profeshion will be requisite to restore a secondary
unity.” Later—“The horce has been turned out tew
grass.”
Sunday, 9th.—This is the Sabbath, a day that our
fathers thought a good deal ov. Mutch wind (in
sum ov the churches); streets lively, bissiness good;
prize fight on the palisades; police reach the ground
after the fight is aul over, and arrest the ropes and
the ring. Wind sutherly; a lager-beer spring discovered
just out ov the limits ov the city; millions
are flocking out to see it.
Monday, 10th.—A gale, mile stuns are torn up bi
the rutes; fight for 700 dollars and the belt, at Red
Bank, Nu Jersey, between two well known roosters;
oysters fust eaten on the half shell 1342, by Don
Bivalvo, an Irish Duke; sun sets in the west.
Tuesday, 11th.—Roosters still fighting; indications
ov wind; counterfeit Tens in circulashun on the
Faro Bank; look out for them; milk only 15 cents
a quart; thank the Lord, “the good time,” has finally
come; Don Quixot fights his first wind mill, 1510,
at short range, and got whipped the second round;
time 14 minnits.
9:30 P. M.—Torch-lite procession at Red Bank, in
honor ov the winning rooster.
Wednesday, 12th.—Sum wind, with wet showers;
showers smell strong ov dandylions and grass; gold
132 17-16; exchange on Brooklin and Williamsburgh,
one cent (by the ferry boats.)
Thursday, 13th.—Bad day for the alminak bissiness;
no nuze, no wind; no cards; no nothing.
Friday, 14th.—Wendal Phillips tares up the constitushun
ov the United States; “alas! poor Yorick;”
rain from abuv; strawberries, watermillions and
peaches, gitting skase; rain continners, accompanied
with thunder and slight moister; mercury abuv zero.
Saturday, 15th.—Grate fraud diskovered in the
custom house—3 dollars missing; fifty subordinates
suspended; a wet rain sets in; robbins cum, and
immediately begin tew enquire for sum cherrys.
Sunday, 16th.—Henry W. Beecher preaches in
Brooklyn by partickular request; dandylions in market
only 15 cents a head.
Monday, 17th.—Plant sum beans; plant them
deep; if yu don't they will be sure tew cum up.
Robinson Cruso born 1515, all alone, on a destitute
iland. Warm rain, mixt with wind; woodchucks
cum out ov their holes and begin tew chuck a
little.
Tuesday, 18th.—Look out for rain and yu will be
apt tew see it; wind sow bi sow west; ice discovered
in our Rushion purchiss; miners rushing that way;
geese are seen marching in single phile, a sure indicashun
ov the cholera; musketose invented by
George Tucker, Esq., 1491; patent applied for but
refused, on the ground that they might bight sumboddy.
Wensday, 19th.—A mare's nest discovered in Ontary
county; a warm and slightly liquid rain; thousands
ov people hav visited the nest; windy; the
old mare is dredfull cross and kickful; hens average
an egg a day, beside several cackels.
Thursday, 20th.—Appearance ov rain; plant corn
for early whiskey; frogs hold their fust concert—
Ole Bullfrog musical direcktor—matinee every afternoon;
snakes are caught wriggling (an old trick ov
theirs); a warm and muggy night; yu can hear the
bullheads bark; United States buys the iland ov
Great Brittain.
