20. XX.
JOSH REPLIZE TEW CORRESPONDENTS.
Mastiff.—I kant tell yu the best kind ov a dogg
tew buy; but for a man of limited means, i think
the wodden dogg iz the most cheapest. They are
the less liabel tew git out ov repare, and ain't awl
the time following folks oph. They kant wag their
tales, but that kan be remydied by having them
made without enny. They are not apt tew be noizy
in the night; but if yu want one tew frighten
away the robbers, awl yu hav got tew dew iz tew
hav one made with the bark on.
Walton.—Yu are right about it; the bull-head
aint a game fish, although they die hard. I kant
giv yu enny posatiff rule to be a game fisher. Pashunce
iz a good thing tew hav. I would advise yu
to practiss, for the fust year, in a tan vat, with a
leather line, and a skillet handle for a fish hook; yu
may not ketch mutch fish, but yu will learn how tew
twitch butifully.
Davenport.—I beleave in the doktrin ov spiritualism—that
iz, i beleave it iz a smart doktrin. A man
haz tew hav a United States juggler's license now
before he kan beleave in the doktrin. I beleave in
raps on the table, but when i hear them cum pretty
loud and fast i make up mi mind that sumboddy iz
gitting badly eukered. I don't rekolekt ov but one
communikashun between spirits that iz menshuned
in the Bible, and that took place between Lazarus
and another gentleman. It iz pleasant to know that
one ov these spirits waz a pure one, and that he had
awl the advantage (ov the other gentleman) in the
argument, and in the posishun.
Eazell.—I kant tell yu who painted the Greek
Slave; she aint on exhibishun. They are gitting
the fine arts almost perfeck now-a-days. One
feller in Pittsburg haz painted a sorrell hors so perfekly
that the hair awl cum oph from the hors.
And another fellar haz just finished a Durham cow
that he had salted down last fall for family use.
And another artiss haz got a Nufoundland pupp in
hiz studio reddy—that he haz bin offered 10 dollars
for bi the owner, and no questions asked.
Parent.—I kant tell yu the best way tew bring up
a boy; but, if i had one that didn't lie well enuff
tew suit me, i think now i would set him tew tending
a dri goods store. Probably, one ov the best
ways to bring up a boy in the way he should go, iz
tew travel that woy ourselfs, once in a while. Still
thare aint no sure thing; I have seen them brought
up az kerful az a lappdog, and then go tew the devil
jist az soon az they could strike the right track.
And then agin, i hav saw them cum out ov sumboddy's
gutter and wash up like a dimond. Raising
boys iz a good deal like raising colts; if yu don't git
more than one out ov ten that iz a fast one, yu are
dewing fust rate. A grate menny men hanker for a
boy tew transmit their reputashun to! i konsider
this about az risky az the hen's egg bizzness; thare
iz always sum chances agin it—one iz, that the eggs
may be spilte before they start for market, and
another iz, they may git busted in carrying.
