University of Virginia Library

I.
After the New Jersey Election, 1865.

NEVER wuz I in so pleasant a frame uv mind as
last night. All wuz peace with me, for after
bein buffeted about the world for three skore years, at
last it seemed to me ez tho forchune, tired uv persekootin
a unforchnit bein, hed taken me into favor.
I hed a solemn promise from the Demekratic State
Central Committy in the great State uv Noo Gersey,
that ez soon ez our candidate for Governor wuz
dooly elected, I shood hev the position uv Dorekeeper
to the House uv the Lord (wich in this State
means the Capital, & wich is certainly better than
dwellin in the tents uv wicked grosery keepers, on
tick, ez I do), and a joodishus exhibition uv this

promise hed prokoored for me unlimited facilities
for borrerin, wich I improved, muchly.

On Wednesday nite I wuz a sittin in my room, a
enjoyin the pleasin reflection that in a few days I
should be placed above want & beyond the contingencies
uv fortune. Wood! oh wood! that I hed
died then and there, before that dream ov bliss wuz
roodly broken. A wicked boy cum runnin past
with a paper wich he hed brot from the next town
where there lives a man who takes one. He flung
it thro the window to me and past on. I opened it
eagerly, and glanced at the hed lines!

One long and piercin shreek wuz heard thro that
house, and wen the inmates rushed into the room
they found me inanymate on the floor. The fatal
paper lay near me, explainin the cause uv the catastrophe.
The kind-hearted landlord, after feelin uv
my pockets and diskiverin that the contents thereof
wood not pay the arrearages uv board, held a hurried
consultation with his wife as to the propriety
uv bringin me to; he insisting that it wuz the only
chance uv gittin what wuz back — she insistin that
ef I was brung to I'd go on runnin up the bill, bigger
and bigger, and never pay at last. While they

was argooin the matter, pro and con, I happened to
git a good smell uv his breath, wich restored me to
consciousniss to-wunst, without further assistance.

When in trouble my poetic sole alluz finds vent
in song. Did ever poet who delited in tombs, and
dark, rollin streams, and consumption, and blighted
hopes, and decay, and sich themes, ever hev such a
pick of subjects ez I hev at this time? The follerin
may be a consolation to the few Dimokrats uv the
North who have gone so far into copperheadism
that they can't change their base: —

A Wale!

In the mornin we go forth rejoicin in our strength
— in the evenin we are bustid and wilt!

Man born uv woman (and most men are) is uv
few days, & them is so full uv trouble that it's
skarsely worth while bein born at all.

In October I waded in woe knee-deep, and now
the waters uv afflickshun are about my chin.

I look to the east, and Massychusets rolls in
Ablishun.

To the west I turn my eyes, and Wisconsin, and
Minnesota, and Illinoy ansers Ablishun.

Southward I turn my implorin gaze, and Maryland
sends greetin — Ablishun.

In New York we had em, for lo! we run a soljer,
who fought valiantly, and we put him on a platform,
wich stunk with nigger — yea, the savor thereof
wuz louder than the Ablishun platform itself.

But behold! the people jeer and flout, and say
“the platform stinketh loud enough, but the smell
thereof is not the smell uv the Afrikin — it is of the
rotten material uv wich it is composed, and the corrupshun
they hev placed upon it” — and New York
goes Ablishun.

Slocum held hisself up, and sed, “Come and buy.”
And our folks bought him and his tribe, but he
getteth not his price.

Noo Gersey — Ablishun!!

Job's cattle wuz slain by murrain and holler horn
and sich, and, not livin near Noo York, the flesh
thereof he cood not sell.

But Job hed suthin left — still cood he sell the
hides and tallow!

Lazarus hed sores, but he hed dorgs to lick them.

Noo Gersey wuz the hide & tallow uv the Dimocrisy,
and lo! that is gone.

What little is left uv the Dimocrisy is all sore, but
where is the dorg so low as to lick it!

Noo Gersey wuz our ewe lamb — lo! the strong
hand uv Ablishnism hez taken it.

Noo Gersey wuz the Aryrat on wich our ark
rested — behold! the dark waves uv Ablishnism
sweep over it!

Darkness falls over me like a pall — the shadder
uv woe encompasseth me.

Down my furrowed cheeks rolleth the tears uv
anguish, varyin in size from a large Pea to a small
tater.

Noo Gersey will vote for the Constooshnel Amendment,
and lo! the Nigger will possess the land.

I see horrid visions!

On the Camden and Amboy, nigger brakesmen;
and at the polls, niggers!

Where shall we find refuge?

In the North? Lo! it is barred agin us by
Ablishnism.

In the South? In their eyes the Northern copperhead
findeth no favor.

In Mexico? There is war there, and we might
be drafted.

Who will deliver us? Who will pluck us from
the pit into wich we hev fallen?

Where I shel go the Lord only knows, but my
impression is, South Karliny will be my future
home. Wade Hampton is electid Governor, certin,
and in that noble State, one may perhaps preserve

enough uv the old Dimokratic States Rites to leaven
the whole lump.

And into what harbor fate will drive my weatherbeaten
bark, the undersigned can not trooly say.

Noo Gersey — farewell! The world may stand
it a year or two, but I doubt it.