University of Virginia Library

25. XXV.
Turns a Meeting, called to Indorse General
Rosseau, to Account.

THERE wuz joy at the Corners when the Postmaster
(who takes the only paper wich comes
to the office, ceptin a few wich comes to some
demoralized niggers who hev learned to read, and
the officers uv the Freedmen's Burow here) read to
the crowd the news uv the canin wich Rosso, wich
is uv Kentucky, give Grinnell. It sent a thrill uv
joy through the State, wich ain't done thrillin yet.
Bustin out into nine harty cheers, we to-wunst
organized a meetin for the purpose uv expressin our
feelins on the momentous occasion. The bell wuz
rung, the people gathered together, and I wuz
elected Chairman (they alluz elect me to preside
becoz I'm bald-hedded; they think bald heads and
dignity is inseparable), and Deekin Pogram Secretary,

with 36 Vice-Presidents — one for each State.
I made a short speech on takin the chair, congratulatin
em on the auspicious event wich called us
together. Whereupon a Committee on Resolutions
wuz appinted, wich, after a short absense, reported
ez follows: —

Whereas, Genral Rosso, a native-born Kentuckian,
and therefore a gentleman, hevin got into a argument
with a Iowa sheep-breeder; and,

Whereas, hevin got the wust uv the argument,
he dextrously turned it into blackguardin; and,

Whereas, hevin got the wust uv the blackguardin,
he remembered the ancient usages uv the chivalrous
sons uv the South, and caned him; therefore, be it

Resolved, That we, the Dimocrisy uv Confedrit
× Roads, wich is in the State uv Kentucky, hereby
thank General Rosso for his manly vindication uv
the character uv Kentucky.

Resolved, That we know not wich to admire the
most; the dashin Gineral's courage in bravin the
public sentiment uv the North, or his prudence in
selectin the smallest and physically weakest man in
the House to demonstrate onto.

Resolved, That ez Thad Stevens is 70 years uv
age, and lame, and hardly recovered from his fit uv

sickness, we suggest that our beloved hero commence
a argument with him, feelin that so far ez
the argument and blackguardin goes the result will
be the same, only so much more so ez to give him a
good excuse for killin him, wich wood be doin the
South a servis indeed.

Resolved, That the Dimocrisy uv Kentucky hevent
felt so good sence the Memphis riots.

Resolved, That this manly act uv Gineral Rosso's
makes up and compensates the South for the outrage
he inflicted onto her when he jined the vandal
host wich devastated her soil, and that hereafter he
shel be receeved with just the same cordiality ez tho
he had gone into the Confedrit instid uv the Federal
servis.

Resolved, That the thanks uv the Dimocrisy are
due the bold, brave men who accompanied and
stood by General Rosso in this vindication uv the
Southern spirit.

I put the affirmative, ez is the custom here, it bein
the rool, when the leaders want a thing to pass,
never to call for the nays, and it went through all
right. Then I arose, and stated I hed another
resolution, wich I wished to offer, and I read
it: —

Resolved, That in retainin in the Post Offis, at
the Corners, a Ablishnist, President Johnson is —”

At this point Deekin Pogram interrupted me.
He spozed this meetin wuz called to congratulate
Ginral Rosso, and wat wuz the sense uv mixin up a
paltry Post Offis with a matter uv so much importance
ez the canin uv a Ablishnist? It was clearly
out uv order.

I replied, —

“Wood yoo be glad, or wood this congregashun
be glad, to hev me in the Post Orfis in the place uv
that Ablishnist?”

The Deekin replied that personally he wood.
He had the highest respect for my massive talents
and my excellent qualities uv head and heart, and
besides, he thought probable, ef I got the Post Orfis,
he wood stand a chance uv gettin the nine dollars
and sixty-two cents borrowed money I owed him,
and —

I called him to order at once.

Bascom, who keeps the grocery, and who furnishes
me with likker (wich I hev to take for my
hair) on the strength uv remittances I am to receeve,
insisted on hearin the resolution ef it wood further
my gettin the Post Orfis, and so did the benevolent
gentleman with whom I board, and I resoomed, —

“I kin see a good reason for incorporatin a resolooshun
demandin a change in the Post Orfis into
the proceedins uv this meetin. There wood be, my
friends,” sed I, “no yoose uv sendin him a naked
resolution demandin this change, becoz he reseeves
hundreds and tens uv hundreds uv applications for
offices every day; in fact, they pile in at sich a rate
that he never opens the half uv them. The Dimocrisy,
my brethren, are alive on this subject. Ef
they are to support the President, they want, and
will hev, the post orifises, for uv what use is it to
support a man and pay yoor own expenses? It is
plain that the proceedins uv a post offis meetin
wood never reach him, but this, my brethren, goes
up to him from the PEOPLE, endorsin a supporter uv
his policy, and ez it will be the only one he hez
reseeved, or will reseeve, he will read it and read it
through, and in the exultation he will feel at bein
endorsed by anybody, who doubts the result? The
Post Orifis is mine.”

Bascom, the grocery keeper, moved, excitedly,
the adoption uv the resolution. I suggested that I
hed better read it, but he sed it made no difference;
he knew it wuz all rite. The benevolent and confidin
individooal I board with seconded the motion,
and Deekin Pogram supported it in a short speech,

statin that he understood that it wuz Brother Nasby's
intention, ef he succeeded in procoorin the position,
to devote the first three and a half years' salary
towards payin off the small indebtedness he hed contracted
sence he hed honored the town by residin in
it. To all uv wich I blandly smiled an assent,
whereupon the resolution wuz adopted yoonanimusly.
Hevin lived here a little risin uv a year, the
vote wuz perfeckly yoonanimous.

My prospex is britenin.