University of Virginia Library

14. XIV.
Refuses to Support the President, having no
Confidence in Him. — Again warns the Democracy.

THE politikle sky is orecast with friteful clouds.
Darkness is on the face uv the waters. The
waves is a rollin mountin high, the litenin flashes
ominous thro the gloom, and the deep-mouthed
thunder mutters angrily in the distants. Ez a sentinel
on the watch-tower, I look out, and what do I
see? I see the old ship uv State loaded down with
a valuable cargo uv Post-offices, Collectorships, and
sich, a laborin in the trough uv the sea, her bowsprit
cove in, her top-gallant lanyards bustid, her
jib-boom a flutterin in the gale, her capstan spliced,
and her sheet anker torn to ribbons. (Not hevin
bin a sailor, only ez a driver on the Wabash Kanal,
it is possible my nautikle terms may not be altogether
correct. But it makes no difference in the

interior uv Kentucky.) She is strivin to make her
harbor, and is workin manfully. Close behind her
is the long, low, rakish skooner Dimocrisy, with all
sale set, a tryin her best to overtake her and board
her. For a time it seemed ez tho she wood be successful,
but alas! she is fallin astern, and every minnit
the distance between em is a widenin, widenin,
widenin, and at present writin there ain't the remotest
prospect uv their gettin within hailin distance
uv each other.

To drop mettafor (wich, by the way, I kin jerk
when I feel so disposed), the prospect isn't ez encouragin
ez it wuz, and I fear, in fact I feel certain,
that the short cut to offis wich the Democrisy thought
it had found through Androo Johnson's veto, is reely
the longest way round. I cannot understand what
indoost the Dimocratic leaders, our chosin standard-bearers,
to make sich egrejus asses uv theirselves ez
to place enny dependence on Johnson at all. What
cood they hev bin thinkin uv? Wuz not our experience
in 1864 sufficient to deter em from makin any
experiment wich involved abandonment uv any uv
our principles? Didn't we, in the hope uv ketchin
Abolition war votes, nominate MickLellan, and
didn't the war men jeer us, and flout us, and say,
“Behold, we hev better war men uv our own; why

shood we leave home to find that uv wich we hev a
plenty?” When Androo Johnson, in a fit uv temporary
indignashun, split on Sumner, why did our
people, like idiots, pick him up, and endorse him
without givin the matter matoor considerashun —
without waitin for the fax? Didn't they know that
Summer wuz a sort uv a dose uv calomel, wich
worked on the President's liver, and necessitated
the discharge uv all the offensive matter wich hed
accumulated doorin his long term uv Dimocrisy?
Uv course it wuz, and to-day Androo Johnson,
hevin in that speech got rid uv the last vestidge uv
Dimocrisy wich infected him, comes up a stronger
man agin us than ever. We made two errors: On
the 4th uv March, 1865, at his inoggerashun, when
he made a spectacle uv hisself, we murmured gently
to ourselves, “It's all right! he's yet wun uv us.”
And we sed the same after the splurge uv the 22d
uv February last. Oh, my friends, they wuz both
fatal errors. Them spasms wuz the efforts uv a
noble nacher a tryin to git rid uv Locofocoism, and
from the fact that he immejitely after commenst a
missellaneously apintin Abilishnists and Republicans
to offises, and hezn't showed a sine uv a disposition
to extend his hand to a single confidin Democrat,
it's my opinion he's succeeded.

We bet too heavy on the fight atween the President
and Summer. Summer is ordained to alluz hev
a gong uv sum kind, which he is also ordained to
keep perpetually a poundin. He's bin for several
years amusin hisself a poundin the Dimocrisy, and
when there wuzn't enuff uv that to make it interestin,
he turned on Johnson, and he'll pound at him
till suthin else excites his wrath. He's a Spanish
bull, possessin sharp horns, and a immense amount
uv strength and agility, which he is continooally a
wastin by jumpin at sich red flags ez are mischeevusly
waved afore him. He's jest ez apt to gore his frends
ez his enemies, and his lungin at Johnson wuz no
sign that Johnson had gone back on Ablishnism.

But enuff uv this. Sence it hez become a fixed
fact that the boorish tailor, who now by accident
okkepies the place uv the marter Linkin, made
vacant by his untimely death by the hand uv a vile
assassin (whose only redeemin trait wuz that he
wuz a stanch, uncompromisin Dimocrat), — now, I
say, that it's plain that this drunken sot ain't agoin
to distribute the patronage amongst us who need it
so much, I ask, in indignashun, wat is it that we are
asked to endorse?

He proposes to continue the Freedmen's Buro
bizness.

He refooses to withdraw the military from the
Dimokratic States.

He refooses to restore to our sufferin brethren uv
the Dimocratic States the habis corpusses wich the
tyrant Linkin wrested from them.

He keeps Jefferson Davis a pinin in a loathsome
dungeon, and only refooses to bring him to trial
becoz, 4sooth, he haint yet got things in the right
shape to hang him.

I cood enumerate other insults and opressions he
hez piled upon Dimocrats, but I forbear. I might,
if I wuz disposed to harrow up the Dimocratic sole
and lasserate the Dimocratic bosom, state how I wuz
treated, when, on the 24th uv Febrooary last I made
a delegashun uv myself, and went to Washington for
the purpose uv layin before him the necessity uv the
removal uv the postmaster at the Corners, and the
apintment uv myself in his stead. I found that his
speech had reached all other parts uv the Yoonited
States ez soon ez it hed Kentucky, for there wuz
suthin over a hundred thousand stanch Dimocrats
there, all with petitions noomerously signed, wich
they hed held over from Bookannon's administration,
recommendin uv em to places. How wuz we
reseeved? How did Androo Johnson treet us? I
mite say how emphatically I wuz shoved out uv

his room, and with what reckless profanity I heerd
him remark that Washington had stunk with secesh
ever since he vetoed the bill; that that foolish
speech had acted on the whole country like a puke,
and that each State had spewed its foulest material
onto Washington, and that the atmosphere wuz
heavy with their breath, et settry, et settry, but I
forbear.

Suffice it to say that the few Democratic members
uv Congress had hard work borrowin money enuff
to git the most spectable uv the crowd home agin,
and even then thousands uv em who wuz drawed
there by that speech, shoor uv apintments, wuz
obliged to walk home ignominiously, uv whom I
wuz which.

Androo Johnson may be worthy uv Dimocratic
support, but he hez a queer way uv showin it. I
know not wat others may do, but ez for me and my
household I'll run after no strange gods. Ef he
wants us, let him call on us in language wich we
kin understand.