 | II.
A Conversation with General McStinger, of the
State of Georgia, which is interrupted by a
Subjugated Rebel. "Swingin round the cirkle" |  |
2. II.
A Conversation with General McStinger, of the
State of Georgia, which is interrupted by a
Subjugated Rebel.
SENCE the November elections I hev bin spendin'
the heft uv my time in Washinton. I find
a melankoly pleasure in ling'rin around the scene
uv so many Demokratic triumphs. Here it wuz
that Brooks, the heroic, bludgeoned Sumner; here
it wuz that Calhoon, & Yancey, and Breckinridge
achieved their glory and renown. Besides, it's the
easiest place to dodge a board bill in the Yoonited
States. There's so many Congressmen here who
resemble me, that I hev no difficulty in passin for
one, two-thirds uv the time.
Yesterday I met, in the readin-room uv Willard's,
Ginral MacStinger, of South Karliny. The Ginral
is here on the same bizness most uv the Southern
men hev in this classic city, that uv prokoorin a
pardon, wich he hed prokoored, and wuz gittin
Congress in his deestrick.
The Ginral wuz gloomy. Things didn't soot him,
he observed, and he wuz afeerd that the country
wuz on the high road to rooin. He hed bin absent
from the Yoonited States suthin over four yeers, wich
time he hed spent in the southern confederacy.
When he went out the Constooshnel Dimocrisy hed
some rites wich wuz respected. On his return wat
did he see? The power in the hands uv Radikals,
Ablishnism in the majority everywhere, a ex-tailor
President, — a state uv affairs disgustin in the extreme
to the highly sensitive Southern mind. He
had accepted a pardon only becoz he felt hisself
constrained to put hisself in2 position to go to Congress,
that the country might be reskood from its
impendin peril. He shood go to Congress, and
then he should ask the despots who now hev control,
whether, —
1. They spozed the South wood submit to hoomiliatin
condishns?
2. What Androo Johnson means by dictatin to the
Convenshuns uv sovereign States?
“Why,” sez he, “but a few days ago this boor
hed the ashoorence to write to the Georgy Convenshun
that it `must not' — mark the term — `MUST
say `must not' to shivelrus Georgy? Good God! —
where are we driftin? For one, I never will be
consilliated on them terms — never! I never wuz
used to that style uv talk in Dimekratic convenshuns.
“Ez soon ez I take my seet in Congris,” resoomed
he, “I shel deliver a speech, wich I writ the day
after Lee surrendered, so ez to hev it ready, in
which I shel take the follerin ground, to wit:
“That the South hev buried the hatchit, and hev
diskivered that they love the old Yoonion above eny
thing on earth. But,
“The North must meet us half way, or we wont
be answerable for the consekences. Ez a basis for
a settlement, I shell insist on the follerin condishens:
“The Federal debt must be repoodiated, principal
and interest, or ef paid, the Southern war debt
must be paid likewise — ez a peece offerin. The
doctrine uv State Rites must be made the soopreme
law uv the land, that the South may withdraw
whenever they feel theirselves dissatisfied with Massachusetts.
Uv coarse this is a olive branch.
“Jefferson Davis must be to-wunst set at liberty
and Sumner hung, ez proof that the North is really
the others immovable.”
An old man who hed bin listnin to our talk, murmured
that there wuz a parallel to this last proposishen.
“Where?” demanded the Genral.
“The Jews, I remember,” replied he, “demanded
that Barrabas be released unto them, who wuz a
thief, I believe, and the Savior be crucified, but I
forgit jist how it wuz.”
The Genral withered him with a litenin glance,
and resoomed:
“I shel, uv course, offer the North suthin in the
way uv compensation, for the troo theory uv a Republikin
Government is compermise. On our part
we pledge ourselves to kum back, and give the
North the benefit uv our kumin back, so long ez
Massachusetts condux herself akkordin to our ijees
uv what is rite. But ef this ekitable adjustment is
rejected, all I hev to say then is, I shell resign, and
the Government may sink without wun effort from
me to save it.”
I wuz about to give in my experience, when the
old man, who wuz sittin near us, broke in agin:
“My name,” sed he, “is Maginnis, and I live in
from Karliny, and to the wun from Noo Gersey.”
“How,” retorted I, “do yoo know I'm from Noo
Gersey, not hevin spoken a word in yoor hearin?”
“By a instink I hev. Whenever I see a Sutherner
layin it down heavy to a indivijouel whose
phisynogamy is uv sich a cast that upon beholdin it
yoo instinktively feel to see that yoor pocket-handkercher
is safe, a face that wood be dangerous if it
had courage into it, I alluz know the latter to be
a Northern copperhead. The Noo Gersey part I
guessed at, becoz, my friend, that State furnished
the lowest order uv copperheads of any uv em.
Pardon me ef I flatter yoo. But what I wanted to
say wuz, that I spose suthen hez happened doorin
the past 4 years. I was a original secessionist.
Sum years ago I hed a hundred niggers, and wuz
doin well with em. But, unforchunitly, my brother
died, and left me ez much more land, but no niggers.
I wanted niggers enuff to work that land, and spozed
ef cut off from the North, and the slave-trade wuz
reopened, I cood git em cheaper. Hentz I seceshed.
Sich men ez Genral McStinger told me
the North woodent fight or I woodent hev secesht,
but I did it. I went out for wool and cum back
shorn. I seceshed with 100 niggers to git 200, and
with nary a nigger.
“But all this is no excoose for talkin bald noncents.
Yoo old ass,” sed he, addressin Genral McStinger,
“yoo talk uv wat yoo will do, and what
yoo wont. Hevent you diskivered that yoo are
whipped? Hevent you found out that yoo are subjoogated?
Are yoo back into the Yoonyun uv your
own free will and akkord? Hevent yoo got a pardon
in yoor pockit, which dockyment is all that saves
yoor neck from stretchin hemp? Why do yoo talk
uv wat South karliny will and wont do? Good
Lord! I recollect about a year since South karliny
would never permit her soil 2 be pollutid by Yankee
hirelins, yit Sherman marched all over it with a few
uv em, and skarcly a gun was fired at em. So too
I recollect that that sed State, wich wuz agoin to
whip the entire North, and wich wood, ef overpowered,
submit gracefully and with dignity to
annihilation, and sich, wuz the first to git down on
her marrow bones, and beg for peace like a dorg.
Ef yoo intend this talk for the purpose uv skarin
the North, beleeve me when I say that the North
aint so easy skared ez it wuz. Ef its intendid for
home consumption, consider me the people. Ive
heard it before, and I'll take no more uv it until my
are whipped, and hev got to do the best we kin.
We are a goin to pay the Federal debt, and aint
goin to pay the confederet debt. Davis will be hung,
and serve him rite. States rites is dead, and slavery
is abolished, and with it shivelry; and its my opinion
the South is a d—d sight better off without
either of em. I kin sware, now, after livin outside
uv the shadder uv the flag 4 yeres, that I love it!
You bet I do. I carry a small one in my coat
pocket. I hev a middlin sized one waved by my
youngest boy over the family when at prayers, and
a whalin big one wavin over my house all the time.
I hev diskivered that its a good thing to live under,
and when sich cusses as yoo talk uv what yoo will
and wont do under it, I bile. Go home, yoo cusses,
go home! Yoo, South, and pullin orf your coat,
go to work, thankin God that Johnson's merciful
enuff to let yoo go home at all, insted uv hangin
yoo up like a dorg, for tryin to bust a Guverment
too good for yoo. Yoo, North, thankful that the
men uv sense uv the North hed the manhood to prevent
us from rooinin ourselves by makin sich ez yoo
our niggers. Avaunt!”
And the excited Mr. Maginnis, who is evidently
subjoogated, strode out uv our presence. His intemperit
we dident resoom with the ease and freedom we
commenced with, and in a few minutes we parted.
I didn't like him.
Lait Paster uv the Church of the New Dispensashun.
| II.
A Conversation with General McStinger, of the
State of Georgia, which is interrupted by a
Subjugated Rebel. "Swingin round the cirkle" | |