University of Virginia Library

6. VI.
A Conversation with a Loyal Kentuckian, who
had Faith in the final Triumph of Democracy.

I SEE a lite. Democricy is not that dead karkis
its enemies hoped for and its friends feared. My
noomerious friends here insisted that ez I wuz growin
into the seer and yaller leaf, I shood abandon
Dimocrisy, and flote with the current. I cant. Ez
troo ez the needle to the pole, so am I to Dimocrisy.
Young wimmin flock to marryins, middle-aged ones
to bornins, and old ones to buryins, which shows
concloosively to the most limited intelleck wat the
mind uv each class runs upon. So it is with me.
To me Dimocrisy is wife, mother, and child.

I hev diskivered many things sense I hev bin in
Kentucky — things wich elevated my deprest heart
ez yeast does dough, wich filled my shrunken soul
ez wind does a bladder.

The people uv Kentucky wuz all loyal. Doorin
the horrible fratrisidle war wich hez rent the proud
temple uv liberty into twain, they preserved a strict
nootrality. I hed a conversation with wun old patriarch,
who asshoored me that he hed never taken
sides.

Upon his honor, he asshoored me that, after battles,
he rifled the corpses uv both armies, impartially.
“Cood any boddy be more nootraller than that?”
he asked. “My sons,” sed he, “wuz in the confedrit
army. This fact wood hev turned the affections
uv a week-minded man in that direction; but when
I thot uv the boys, I alluz thot also uv that gellorious
star-spangled banner, under wich I hed whipped
my niggers and sold their children; under whose
shadder I hed men servants, and made servants, and
home-made servants born unto me. That banner
hed bin my shield. Ef my niggers run off, who so
prompt in their pursoot ez the Democratic marshals,
wich alluz returned em to me ef it wuz possible?
The instooshun wuz guaranteed to me by solemn
compermises, wich we cood hev ez often ez we desired.
Compermises wuz our best holt. Whenever
we wanted anything, all we hed to do wuz to
ask for it. The Ablishinists wood object, the Dimocrisy
wood draw up a compermise, wich inklooded,

ez a rool, twice or 3 times wat we asked, and
pass it to save the Union. Sich a Union wuz worth
havin, and I opposed all efforts to dissolute it. Hed
the South succeeded, I shood hev gone with em; for
Kentucky alone — the only nigger State in the North
— wood hev bin helpless. Scaldin tears hev I shed
when contemplatin the horrors uv war; but I cood
do nothin to avert it. Kentucky wuz loyal, but
nootral.”

I find down here that the loyal citizens uv Kentucky
who hev returned from the confedrit service
are not at all discouraged; on the contrary, they
are hopeful. Sed one to me (I bleeve he wuz a
Kernel under Gen. Forest; indeed, I think he told
me he participated in the glorious victory at Fort
Piller), —

“Why art thou cast down? Things is workin
eggsackly to our hand.”

In a mournful tone, I retorted that I failed to perseeve
it.

“I kin,” sez he. “Lookye, my venerable friend.
Is the Northern Dimocrisy still troo?”

“They is,” I replied, “wat few remains. But,
alas! war, crool war, hez decimated our ranks five
times.”

“How so?” sez he. “None uv your kind uv

Democrats jined in this unholy croosade, and fell
afore our deth-deelin swords — did they?”

“Not any,” sez I; “but Kanady and Montana
took em afore each draft. That wuz why we wuz
so beet at the eleckshuns. For one week-kneed Ablishinist
we scared into our ranks, we lost two by
emigration; and, unfortunitly, wun half that emigrated
starved to deth, and tother half is distribbited
in the various States prisons in them lands uv refuge.”

“Still,” sez he, “it matters not. Yoo hev deestricks
yoo kin carry in most uv the States. The Five
Points deestrick, in Noo York, is ours. Noo Gersey
will go back to her allegiance. The new gold
States, where so menny uv our friends fled, will
send up Democrats to Congress. Ohio hez 2 devoted
to us, Pennsylvany hez several, and the most
uv the Northern States will send one or two; and
them from the North kin be depended on to go any
measure we say. Then” — and he slapped me on
the back highlariously — “the niggers is free!”

“Well?” sez I, not seein wat cause for highlarity
that wuz.

“Well,” sez he, “them niggers is not now OTHER
PERSONS! We alluz counted five uv em for three
in making up the Congressers we wuz entitled to;

now they count as white men, wich increases our
delegashuns to sich an extent that ef yoo Northern
men do half yoor dooty, we'll hev a majority in Congress.
Then, good Lord! the pleasant crack uv the
whip shel agin be heard on the plains uv the sunny
South. The niggers wont be re-enslaved; but our
Legislaters will speedily redoose em to their normal
condishun. We shell observe the Constitushnel
Amendment strickly and in good faith. The Afrikin
shel be free; but the good uv society demands
that he shel be under proper guardianship. He
wont be allowed to change his location; and the
laws uv the States will define his dooties, and give
us the power uv enforcin em. He wont be allowed
to hev arms, so he can't resist. Ez he can't leave a
plantation, he will hev to submit quietly to sich rools
ez the high-minded planter makes for him, or be
shot on the spot, or turned out to die uv starvashun,
akording to circumstances. Ef the planter is a unrejenerated
child uv damnashun, he will shoot him;
ef he is a saint, who hez a southern hope uv a blessed
immortality beyond the grave, he'll restrane his
anger, and turn him out to die uv hunger, onless he
repents, and comes back humble. Then, they bein
free and responsible for theirselves, we ain't obleeged
to take care uv the sick, the aged, or the infirm, so
it will be really better than it wuz before. I see a
gellorious future afore us. Thro the thick clouds uv
gloom the brite sun uv hope cheerinly breaks. Say
to the Northern Dimocrisy, be uv good cheer. Agin
they shel lick our hands; agin they shel eat the
crumbs that fall from the National table.

“Thank God for the Northern Dimocrisy, with
the other blessins He has given the South. With
niggers to do our manual labor for nothing, with
Northern Democrats to do our votin at almost the
same price, we are trooly a favored people. Bless
the Lord for the nigger and the Democrat, wich is
both useful to us, each in his speer!”

I drew encouragement from his remarks. The
deep vane uv pious thankfulness wich run through
his discourse was nateral to him. He is a trooly
pious man, and wuz just back frum the meetin uv
the Synod uv one uv the Southern churches, wich
still persists in quotin Onesimus and Hayger. I
feel encouraged. O, Dimmycrats uv the North,
let us

and I feel shoor that success will at last crown our
efforts.