48. XLVIII.
AGAIN REPUDIATES M'CLELLAN, AND GIVES REASONS
THEREFOR.
Church uv the Noo Dispensashun, }
February the 29th, 1864.
The ijeotic ijee uv nominatin Micklellan apperes
to be gainin ground among the Dimokrasy.
Whenever a party gits a goin down hill, it seems
ez ef dubble-distild loonacy invariaribly taiks holt
uv the engineers, instid uv the cool, cam wisdom
nessary to histe it back into assendensy.
I obgect to the nominashen uv Micklellan for
these reezns:
1st [and 4most.] We can't win with him.
Who 's a goin 2 vote for him? The old hard-heded
Peese Men, who objeks to drafts, won't, becoz,
wile he wuz in command he laid, in the swamps
uv the Chickyhominy, the foundashen for a purty
hevy draft; besides, he is still drawin pay ez a
ginral in this unholy croosaid. The War Dimekrats
won't, coz, ez a orfiser operatin agin the
Sowth, he wuz not eggsactly a Napoleon. Indeed,
a aggreeved frend uv mine frum Gorgy likend
him unto a kickin shot-gun—dangerus only to
them ez held it. He has n't the elemence uv success
in him, ez I kin see. He wuz n't born uv
poor but onist parence; he never druv horses on
the kanal; he dident study rithmetic by the fire
in a log-cabin; neether did he walk bairfoot, in
the ded uv winter, 13 miles, to beg a Congrisman
to git him in2 West Pint. There 's no precedent
for his nominashen. My 2d reeson is:
2d. Ef electid, he woodent be uv eny yoose to
me and sich ez I am.
Let enny Dimekrat who hez bin waitin for offis
4 weery yeres, look at this. Who is his frends—
his neerest? Wy, Fitsjon Porter and that clan.
I wuz a thinkin uv it over, and I bleeve it 'll do
ez a rool, that the court-marsheld and dismist orfisers
air all Micklellan men; and, wen I kum to
think uv it, I never knew a deserter that wuz n't.
Uv coarse he 'd hev to pervide for em, and wher'd
be our chanse? Wy, ther 's enuff uv these to fill
all the orfises, frum Secertary uv Stait down to
the umblest post-orifis.
Agin: Spozn that, ez soon ez he 's electid, he
shood conclood not to hev peese, and shood undertaik
to finish the war hisself. It wood be jest
like him, coz he reely hez a ijee that he 's a gineral.
Then the sponsibility uv his doins wood
rest with the Dimokrasy, wich Hevin forbid. To
think uv us bein sponsible for a Peninsooler campane!
Uv coarse, the Dimokrasy wood then hev
to volunteer. Think uv his leevin a hundred and
20 thousend ded Dimekrats atwixt Washinton and
Richmond! He wuz all well enuff wen the men
to be left with ther toes up wuz Ablishnists. It
wood be sooiside on an onparalleld scale to trust
him with that menny Dimekrats. Agin I say,
Hevin forbid!
We want a peese man. There 's no room fer
us ennywheres else; neether kin we face 2 ways.
I wunst attendid a serkus, and beheld with astonishment
the trooly grate feets uv hossmanship and
sich. Wun rider, who wuz also the moral and
instructive injy-rubber man, wuz intoxicatid, and
conseetid he cood ride 2 hosses, eech goin a diffrent
way. Tyin his feet to the spiritid steeds, he
startid em; but, alars! in a second he wuz ript in
2 peeses, and the arena wuz drencht with his
goar. Let us taik warnin by his sad fait. Our
hoss is not a war-hoss—his naim is Peese, and
we must hev a man upon whose garmence ther
is no smell uv blood. The gentle Brite, the
grate Vallandigum, the akoot Fernandywood, the
elegant Samcox, enny wun uv that pecoolyer
stripe will do us, and give us ground to go on.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Paster uv sed Church, in charge.
