7. VII.
ANNIHILATES AN OBERLINITE.
Columbus, O., June the 21st, 1862.
I wuz onto my way to Columbus to attend the
annooal gatherin uv the fatheful at that city, a
dooty I hev religusly performd fer over 30 yeres.
Ther wuz but wun seet vakent in the car, and
onto that I sot down. Presently a gentleman carryin
uv a carpit-bag sot down beside me, and we
to wunst commenst conversashen. After discussin
the crops, the wether, et settry, I askt wher he
resided.
“In Oberlin,” sez he.
“Oberlin!” shreekt I. “Oberlin! wher Ablishnism
runs rampant—wher a nigger is 100 per
cent. better ner a white man—wher a mulatto is
a objik uv pitty on account uv hevin white blood.
Oberlin! that stonest the Dimekratik prophets,
and woodent be gathered under Vallandygum's
wings as a hen-hawk gathereth chickens, at no
price! Oberlin, that gives all the profits uv her
college to the support uv the underground rale-rode”—
“But,” sez he.
“Oberlin,” continyood I, “that reskoos niggers,
and sets at defians the benifisent laws fer takin
on em back to their kind and hevenly-minded
masters! Oberlin!”—
“My jentle frend,” sez he, “Oberlin do n't do
nuthin uv the kind. Yoo 've bin misinformd.
Oberlin respex the laws, and hez now a body uv
her galyent sons in the feeld a fightin to manetane
the Constooshn.”
“A fightin to manetane the Constooshn,” retortid
I. “My frend,” (and I spoke impressivly,)
“no Oberlin man is a doin any sich thing. Oberlin
commenst this war. Oberlin wuz the prime
cause uv all the trubble. What wuz the beginnin
uv it? Our Suthrin brethrin wantid the territories—Oberlin
objectid. They wantid Kansas fer
ther blessid instooshn—Oberlin agin objecks.
They sent colonies with muskits and sich, to hold
the terrytory—Oberlin sent 2 thowsand armed
with Bibles and Sharp's rifles—two instooshns
Dimokrasy cood never stand afore—and druv em
out. They wantid Breckinridge fer President.
Oberlin refused, and elektid Linkin. Then they
seceded; and why is it that they still hold out?”
He made no anser.
“Becoz,” continyood I, transfixin him with my
penetratin gaze, “Oberlin won't submit. We
might 2-day hev peese ef Oberlin wood say to
Linkin, `Resine!' and to Geff Davis, `Come up
higher!' When I say Oberlin, understand it ez
figgerative fer the entire Ablishn party, uv wich
Oberlin is the fountin-hed. There's wher the
trubble is. Our Suthern brethren wuz reasonable.
So long ez the Dimokrasy controld things,
and they got all they wanted, they wur peeceable.
Oberlin ariz—the Dimokrasy wuz beet down, and
they riz up agin it.”
Jest eggsactly 80-six yeres ago, akordin to
Jayneses Almanac, a work wich I perooz annually
with grate delite, the Amerykin eagle, (whose
portrate any wun who possessis a 5-cent peece
kin behold,) wuz born, the Goddis uv Liberty bein
its muther, the Spirit uv Freedom its sire, Tomas
Gefferson actin ez physician on the occasion. The
proud bird growd ez tho it slept on guano—its
left wing dipt into the Pasific, its rite into the
Atlantic, its beek thretened Kanady, while his
majestik tale cast a shadder ore the Gulf. Sich
wuz the eagle up to March, '61. What is his
condishn now? His hed hangs, his tale droops,
ther 's no strength in his talons. Wat 's the trubble?
Oberlin. He hed been fed on nigger fer
yeres, and hed thrived on the diet. Oberlin got
the keepin uv him — she withholds his nateral
food; and onless Oberlin is whaled this fall, down
goes the eagle.
