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LXI. STARTS A SOCIETY OF HIS OWN.
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219

Page 219

61. LXI.
STARTS A SOCIETY OF HIS OWN.

I am no “Son uv Liberty.” Enny Dimekrat
who can't stan a hevyer dose than that instooshn
affords, ain't fit to hev the electiv franchise exercised
for him. I hev instootid a order uv my
own, wich is more adaptid 2 the Dimekratik intellek
at large—suthin that they kin understand.

Wat 's the yoose, I ask indignantly, uv tellin
our deciples that free speech is dun away with by
Linkin, wen we are openly blattin Suthrin rites
on evry cross rodes, without enny mentle reservation
watsoever? Wat's the yoose uv talkin 2
Dimekrats about habis corpusses, wen haff uv em
never had em, and tother haff woodent hev knode
the yoose uv em if they'd a had em? Nonsents!

My order, wich I call the “Anshent and Sublime
Order uv Putty-backs,” hez suthin in it they
kin understand.

The follerin is a part uv the ritooel: The candydate
is brot into the anty-room, (so cald frum
the fact that he there anties up his inishashen


220

Page 220
fee,) blind-folded. He 's frightend. A bottle is
applide 2 his nose, wich reassures him, for well
he nose wher ther 's whisky ther 's Dimokrasy.
The follerin dialogue ensoose:

Queshun. Air you a Dimekrat?

Q. Do yoo considder yoorself better than a
nigger?

Q. Air yoo afeerd yoor sister will marry a nigger,
and do you want the Lejislacher uv yer various
Stait 2 maik laws a preventin uv her?

Do yoo bleeve that a Ablishnist luvs a nigger
better'n himself, his wife and children, his unkles
and ants, and sich?

Do yoo bleeve that this war, conseevd by John
Brown and innoggeratid by A. Linkin, is bein
carrid on by Ablishnists for the sole purpus uv
freein the niggers and bringin uv em North, and
elevatin uv em a inch or 2, so ez to git em over
Dimekrats?

Do yoo bleeve that at Oberlin they feed nigger
students on oysters and briled porter-house steak,
and the whites on hash?

Do yoo bleeve there air 800,000 niggers in the
North now, and that the guvment intends 2 hev
em all vote this fall?

Air yoo willin 2 taik up arms agin this elevashen
uv the nigger?


221

Page 221

Will yoo solumly plej yoorself 2 vote the Dimekratik
tickit without a skratch, and to rally
promptly to the killin uv Provo Marshels?

The candidait, uv coarse, ansers all these quesshuns
in the affirmative, after wich sum wun is
huntid up who kin rite his naim, to wich he maiks
his mark, and he 's inishatid.

My sosiety is pekoolyerly adaptid to the party,
coz it 's strong uv nigger, wich all uv em kin understand.
I never knowd a ginooine Suthern-rite
Dimekrat that dident consider the free Afrekin a
disgustin obgek, and who ain't continooally strivin
2 maik himself bleeve that sumboddy's lower
down than himself. Hents their anxiety to own a
nigger, and wher that ain't permitted, their onquenchable
desire to kill wun.

My ijee is never to lose holt uv the nigger. He
maiks us cheep cappytle, and is alluz reddy 2
hand.

Petroleum V. Nasby,
Paster uv sed Church, in charge.