22. XXII.
“CAPCHERD.”
In a Linkin Basteel, Columbus, June the 20th, 1863.
Agen I am in durence vile. Agen I am in
the hands uv Linkin's hirelin minyuns, and my
Church is without a paster. The sheperd is smitten
and the sheep may be scattered. Were it not
for two barls uv whisky that we hed in the church,
I dout wether the organnyzashen wood continner.
My prayer is that the cohesive flooid may hold
out till I return. My capcher wuz ez follose:
Wen the Dimekrats, the peece men of Homes
County, declared war, I threw off the sacerdotle
robes and tuk up the sword. Arrivin at Millersberg,
I jined the peece forces to onct. Ability
is alluz recognizd, and I wuz immejitly made commander-in-cheef
uv the forsis. A full uniform uv
butiful butternut cloth, and a copperheded sword
wuz presented me. I immejitly commenst drillin
the men, and in 2 days hed them perfishent in
compny and battalyun drill.
We fortyfide, buildin gabeyuns, faseens, and
eliptiks, and neglectid no precaushen to make
victry sure. Fifteen hundred strong, we pledgd
ourselves to hist the black flag, and never surrender.
Finally the enemy hove in site. Ez they cum
up, our men trembled with anxiety to meet em.
Sum too hunderd askt permishen to withdraw
frum the fortyfications, make a detoor over the
hill, and flank em, wich request, bein unwillin to
restrane their arder, I ackseded to. Sum 500
jined em, and I spoze are detoorin yit, ez I hev
never seen em since. This movement wuz fatle,
ez all went who were sober enuff 2 walk. Jest
afterwards cum the catastrofy. Ten uv the very
men who hed bin foremost in advisin resistence,
cum up with the Fedrals, and advised a surrender!
Hopin to gane time, I askt too hours to
consider. Unfortnit errer! Before the too hours
wuz up, haff the men wuz sober, and, instid uv
histin the black flag, they capitoolatid, delivrin up
the ringleeders. I wuz taken ez a hed ringleeder,
and wuz ironed and taken to Columbus, wher I
now am.
In hopes uv keepin my flock 2gether, I writ em
a epistle, as follows:
To the Fatheful at Wingert's Corners, greetin:
I rite you in bonds. I beseech you, deerly beluved,
to be stedfast in yure faith, holdin on to
sech truth ez I left you. Be viggelent in good
works, patient in chasin enrollin offisers, and
quick in tarrin and feathrin on em. For tho, I
am not with you, the tar-barl and what's left uv
the feathers is in my study, jest behint the whisky
barls. Be temprit. Ten er 20 nips per day is
enuff fer eny man in helth; if weakly, the number
may be indefinitly increest. I am alluz in
bad helth. Bewair uv false teechers. Let no
Triboons pizen yer minds—stick close to the Crysis.
Keep up yure Sundy exercises; ef yoo hev
wun among you that kin rede, let him next Sundy
eddify yoo with Pooh's speech. Neglect not the
Sundy-skool. That proper interest may be kept
up in the minds uv the children, I wood sejest
that Sundy afternoons you ketch a preecher and
hev the darlins rotten-egg him. “Jest ez the
twig is bent,” et settry. Be ennerjetik in tearin
down meetin-houses, fer they are injoorin us. In
conclooshen, deerly beluved, remember me. Send
me a eucher deck, a too-gallon jug uv corn joose;
also, the weekly collekshun. Ef I survive I will
with be you agen. In faith, yures.
Ef they send wat I want, I shell be comfortable
hear. In chains, but unsubdood,
