University of Virginia Library

90. XC.
LAYS DOWN A PLATFORM FOR THE COMING CAMPAIGN.

These is the dark days uv the Dimokrasy.
The misforchoons that befell our armies in front
uv Richmond, the fall uv our kappytle, follered
by the surrender uv our armies 2 Grant and Sherman,
hez hurt us. Our leeders air either pinin
in loathsum dunguns, inkarseratid by the hevindefyin,
man-destroyin, tyranikle edix uv our late
lamented President, or air barskin in the free air
uv Italy and Canady. We hev no way uv keepin
our voters together. Opposin the war won't do
no good, for before the next elekshun the heft uv
our voters will hev diskiverd that the war is over.
The feer uv drafts may do suthin in sum parts uv
Pennsylvany and Suthern Illinoy, for sum time
yit, but that can't be dependid on.

But we hev wun resource for a ishoo—ther will
alluz be a Dimokrasy so long as ther 's a nigger.

Ther is a uncompromisin dislike to the nigger
in the mind uv a ginooine Dimekrat. The Spanish

bull-fighter, when he wants to inflame the bull
to extra cavortin, waves a red flag afore him.
Wen yoo desire a Dimekrat to froth at the mouth,
yoo will find a black face will anser the perpus.
There4, the nigger is, to-day, our best and only
holt. Let us use him.

For the guidance uv the faithful, I shel lay
down a few plain rools to be observed, in order
to make the most uv the cappytle we hev:

1. Alluz assert that the nigger will never be
able to take care uv hisself, but will alluz be a
public burden. He may, possibly, give us the
lie by goin to work. In sich a emergency the
dooty uv every Dimekrat is plane. He must not
be allowed to work. Associashens must be orgenizd,
pledgd to neether give him employment,
to work with him, to work for enny one who will
give him work, or patronise enny wun who duz.
(I wood sejest that sich uv us ez hez bin forchoonit
enuff 2 git credit, pay a trifle on account,
so ez to make our patronige worth suthin.) This
course, rigidly and persistently follerd, wood drive
the best uv em to steelin, and the balence to the
poor-houses, provin wat we hev alluz claimd,
that they air a idle and vishus race. Think, my
brethren, wat a inspirin effeck our poor-houses
and jails full uv niggers wood hev on the peeple!

My sole expands ez I contemplait the deliteful
vision.

2. Likewise assert that the nigger will come
North, and take all the good places, throwin all
our skilld mekaniks out uv work by underbiddin
uv em. This mite be open to 2 obgecshuns, to-wit:
It crosses slitely Rool the 1, and men mite
say, ef there 's jist enuff laber for wat 's here, why
not perhibit furriners frum cumin? I anser: It 's
the biznis uv the voter to reconsile the contradikshun—he
may bleeve either or both. Ez to the
sekund obgeckshun, wher is the Dimekrat who
coodent be underbid, and stan it even to starvashen,
ef the underbidden wuz dun by a man uv
the proud Kaukashen race? and wher is the Dimekrat
so lost to manhood ez not to drink blud, ef
the same underbiddin is dun by a nigger? The
starvin for work ain't the question—it 's the color
uv the cause uv the starvashen that maiks the
diffrens.

Nigger equality may be workt agin, 2 advantage.
All men, without distinckshun uv secks,
air fond uv flatrin theirselves that sumbody 's
lower down in the skale uv humanity than they
is. Ef 't wan't for niggers, what wood the Dimokrasy
do for sumboddy 2 look down upon? It 's
also shoor to enlist wun stile uv wimmen on our

side. In times gone by, I 've notist gushin virgins
uv 45, full 16 hands high and tuff ez wire,
holdin aloft banners onto wich wuz inscribd—
“Save us frum Nigger Equality.” Yoo see it
soothed em 2 hev a chanse uv advertisin, 1st,
That they wuz frale, helplis critters; and, 2d,
That, anshent and tuff ez they wuz, sum wun wuz
still goin for em.

Ef ther ain't no niggers, sentrel committis must
furnish em. A half dozen will do for a ordnary
county, ef they 're hustled along with energy. Ef
they won't steel, the sentrel committis must do it
theirselves. Show yer niggers in a township in
the mornin, an the same nite rob the clothes-lines
and hen-roosts. Ever willin 2 sacrifice myself for
the cause, I volunteer to do this latter dooty in
six populus countis.

These ijees, ef follerd, will, no doubt, keep us
together until our enemies split, when we will
reep the reward uv our constancy and fidelity.
May the Lord hasten the day.