107. CVII.
INDULGES IN A REMINISCENCE OF HIS YOUTHFUL
DAYS.
Forty yeers is a long time ago. Wat smilin
babes hev bornded in that time, who hev sence
growd up, good and bad men and wimen! Wat
brite hopes hev sprung up that hev bin blighted
by disappintment! Wat—
But what 's the yoose uv moralizin? Ez I set
a smokin my evenin pipe, memry went back forty
yeers, and a insident that okkurred at that time
cum forsibly to my mind.
I wuz then a dotin youth, who indulged in brite-colored
weskets, and invested heavy in hair-oil.
My hart wuz a peece uv tinder, wich a glance
from ary femenine eye, uv not over 30 yeers,
wood fire, and which spark a sigh wood fan into
a glowin flame. I wuz susceptible.
Near my paternal ancestor's roof resided a
farmer, who hed but one child and a smashin
farm. This child wuz a girl, who wuz ez pretty
ez a Wenus, and who knew it, and who also knew
that when that old hard-hitter, Death, shood send
her parents to grass, she wood cum in for
“A very large forchune in silver and gold,”
ez the poet hez it. Consequently she wuz ez
skittish ez a yeerlin colt with a chestnut-burr
under its tail, and made no more akkount uv
the hearts and affections uv the young men than
ez tho they wuz so many apple-dumplins. She
flirted with all uv em, and played her keerds so
skillfully that every one uv em, within a circuit
uv five miles, honestly expected to marry her.
Two uv em were speshelly infatooatid, myself
and Eb Brown, for she hed promised to marry
us both. She told us, (separately, uv coarse,) that
the only obstikle wuz that we were too poor to git
the old man's consent, and insistid on our waitin
till we hed made our pile. To a hungry man a
hour is a long time to wait for dinner—to two
fools, ded in love, the time wasted to git the pile
nessary to matrimony, is a age.
There wuz at that time oceans uv money
bein made a cuttin live-oak, in Floridy, and one
mornin Eb cum to me and asked me how I wood
like to go with him and make our forchunes in
that biznis. I spozd he wuz actooated by a mere
desire to make money. I, filled full uv love, jumpd
at the proposition, and in a week we were on the
way.
In doo time we arrived, and without loss uv
time we set to work. Inspired by love, wich is a
considerably stronger motive-power than a 500
horse-power engine, we waded in. Night and day
we toiled, and instid uv the fine, free, open-harted
fellers we wuz at hum, we bekum two uv the
closest-fisted cusses in Floridy. There wuz no
whisky—no terbacker—no poker—none uv the
comforts uv life for us.
One Sunday, after hevin washt up our red
shirts, and sowed on all the buttons, etc., I happened
to enquire uv Eb why he cum to sich a
God-forsaken country. To wunst he replied—that
he might make money, go back, and marry the
objek uv his adorashen.
“Them 's my fix,” shoutid I, and we immejitly
shook hands and vowed eternal friendship.
“Yes,” sez Eb, “how pleasant 't will be! In
one short year we 'll hev made our spondoolix and
we 'll go back. Yoo 'll marry yoor gal; I 'll marry
Looizer, and”—
“Looizer!” shreekt I, seezin him by the throte,
“Looizer who?”
“Why, Looizer Bevins; who else?”
“Good Lord!” gasped I, my face the color
uv unbleeched muslin; “she 's the Looizer I 'm
workin for.”
We understood each other. Risin to our feet,
we looked at each other eggsackly ez eminent
young Amerikin tragedians do when they wish to
express hate, rage, skorn, contempt, loathing, et
settry.
A ijee struck me. Cood I only git home fust!
Hastily gatherin my valyooables, I sprung onto
the mule we owned in company, and afore Eb
knew what I wuz about, wuz a mile on my way
to the neerest seaport. It finelly okkurrin to him
wat my stratejy wuz, he promptly stole another
mule and follered. A vessel wuz on the pint uv
sailin; we embarked together, and together landed
in Noo York. Twict, on the passage, I attempted
to fling him overboard, but wuz each time frustrated
by his sooperior strength, and wuz only
saved myself from findin a watry grave, by the
interference uv the crew. At Noo York we took
the river, and at Albany the canal, and finelly
cum to the neerest town to our respective place
uv abode. Without waitin to look after baggage,
we rusht to a livery stable, and in a few minits
two teams mite hev bin seen tearin over the pike
toards Looizer's.
We drawd near the house. It wuz at 9 P. M.
With strange forebodins we saw the venerable
mansion brilliantly illoominatid—there wuz indikashens
uv suthin. Flingin ourselves from the
vehicles, we rusht to the door, opened it, and—
On the floor stood a beautiful maiden in white;
by her side a young man in black; in front a clergyman,
who wuz pronouncin these words:
“Whom God hez jined together, let no man put
asunder,” er suthin to that effeck.
Need I say that the maiden in white arrayed
wuz Looizer? Need I relate how we went back
together, and together in the glades uv Floridy
strove to pour ile into each other's lasseratid
harts? Not enny.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo Dispensashun.
