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XII. DESERTS—HIS EXPERIENCE IN CLOTHES.
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60

Page 60

12. XII.
DESERTS—HIS EXPERIENCE IN CLOTHES.

I hev deserted, and am now a soljer uv the
Confederacy. Jest ez soon ez our regiment struck
Suthrin sile, I made up my mind that my bond-age
wuz drawin to a close—that I wood seeze the
fust oppertoonity uv escapin to my nateral frends,
the soljers uv the sunny South. Nite before last
I run the gard, wuz shot at twice, (reseevin two
buck-shot jest below the hind buttons uv my coat,)
but by eggstrordinary luck I escaped. Had infantry
bin sent after me I shood hev bin taken,
for I am not a fast runner; but the commandent
uv the post wuz new at the biznis, and innosently
sent cavalry. Between the hossis they rode, and
the stoppin to pick up them ez coodent stick onto
ther flyin steeds, I hed no difficulty in outrunnin
em.

At last I encounterd the pickits uv the Looisiana
Pelicans, and givin myself up ez a deserter
from the hordes uv the tyrant Linkin, wuz to
wunst taken afore the kernel. I must say, in this
conneckshun, that I wuz surprised at the style uv
uniform worn by the Pelicans. It consists uv a


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Page 61
hole in the seet uv the pants, with the tale uv the
shirt a wavin gracefully thereform. The follerin
colloquy ensood:

“To what regiment did yoo belong?”

“776th Ohio.”

“Volunteer or draftid?”

“Draftid.”

“Yoor name?”

“Nasby, Petroleum V.”

I notist all this time the kernel wuz eyein my
clothes wistfully. I had jest drawd em, and they
wuz bran-new. Sez the kernel:

“Mr. Nasby, I reseeve you gladly ez a recroot
in the Grand Army uv Freedom. Ez yoo divest
yoorself uv the clothes uv the tyrant, divest yerself
uv watever lingrin affecshuns yoo may hev fer
the land uv yer nativity, and ez yoo array yerself
in the garb uv a Suthrin soljer, try to fill yer
sole with that Suthrin feelin that anymates us
all. Jones,” sed he, addressin his orderly, “is
Thompson dead yit?”

“Not quite,” sez the orderly.

“Never mind,” sez the kernel, “he cant git well
uv that fever; strip off his uniform and give it to
Nasby, and berry him.”

I judgd, frum the style uv the uniforms I saw
on the men around me, that I wood rather keep


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Page 62
my own, but I sed nothin. When the orderly returned
with the deceest Thompson's uniform, I
groaned innardly. There wuz a pair uv pants
with the seat entirely torn away, and wun leg
gone below the knee, a shoe with the sole off, and
the straw he had wrapped around the other foot,
and a gray woolen shirt. Sez the kernel:

“Do n't be afeerd uv me, Nasby. Put on yer
uniform rite here.”

Reluctantly, I pulled off my new dubble-soled
boots, and I wuz petrified to see the kernel kick
off the slippers he wore, and pull em on. I pulld
off my pants—he put em on, and so on with every
article uv dress I possest, even to my warm overkote
and blankit. Sez the kernel:

“These articles, Nasby, belongs to the Guvment,
to which I shel akount fer them. Report
yoorself to wunst to Captain Smith.”

Ez I passed out, the lootenant-kernel, majer,
and ajitent pulled me to wun side, and askt me
“ef I coodent git three more to desert.” Wun
glance at their habillyments showd why they wuz
so anxious fer deserters.

I candidly confess that Linkin takes better care
uv his soljers than Davis does. The clothin I hev
described. Instid uv reglar rashens, we are allowed
to eat jest whatever we can steal uv the



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[ILLUSTRATION]

NASBY DESERTS — HIS EXPERIENCE IN CLOTHES. — PAGE 63.

[Description: 631EAF. Illustration page. Illustration of four men, one at a desk, two are dressing or undressing, the last is helping.]

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planters, and, ez mite be expectid, we hev becum
wonderfully expert at pervidin; but, ez the Pelicans
hev bin campt here three months, the livin
is gittin thin. Yet a man kin endoor almost any
thing fer principle.

Petroleum V. Nasby.