16. XVI.
AT HOME.
Wingert's Corners, February the 27th, 1863.
A man who duz things frum principple kin
stand a good deal. I kin. Sustaned and soothed
by an unfaltrin trust in the rychusnis uv the
Suthrin coz, I stuck to my beluvd rejyment, the
Loozeaner Pelikins, with a tenassity wich I did
not dreme I possest. But ther is a pint beyond
wich human nacher can not go. I endoord hunger
and cold—I saw the rags drop off my muskeler
limbs, wun by wun—I murmered not. But,
wen the pantaloons wuz awl gone, wen my costoom
wuz a blanket and wun shoe, I applide fer new
pants, and the quarter-master onfeelinly remarkt
that my dress wuz all rite—that hereafter my costoom
wuz to be adoptid ez the uniform uv the
rejyment—I felt that desershun wuz no longer a
crime, and I deserted. It is entirely onnessary
to rekount awl I endoored in makin my eskaip.
Suffice it to say, that at Columbus I stript the
klose off uv an innebryatid solger, and maid my
way to Amandy Township. My old Dimekratik
friends did not kno me, and ez I expected to borry
money uv them, I deemed it best not to make myself
known.
They were suspishus uv my bloo kote at fust,
until wun uv them remarkt how I likd the
serviss?
To wich I anserd, “Dam the serviss!”
“Do n't admire fitin fer the nigger, eh?”
“Not any,” sez I.
“Why not desert?” sez he.
“I hev deserted,” sez I.
In a instant the aspeck uv things wuz changd.
A jug wuz prodoost, and they awl shook hands.
Wun, more richer nor the rest, handed me a treasury
note uv $10, sayin, “You may need it.”
I replide that, as a general thing, I wood hev
nothin to do with any paper that bore the babboon
likeness uv the usurper and tyrent Linkin;
but, under the sirkumstances, I wood endoor it
until I cood get it changd into Injeany munny.
They took up a kollekshun to wunst, fer my benefit,
which amounted to $43.
Jest at this pint wun uv em asked me to what
rejyment I belonged. I replide, “The Loozeaner
Pelikins.”
“Loozeaner!” sed another, “why, that's a Confedracy
rejyment, aint it?”
“To be sure,” sez I.
“And air yoo a deserter from a Suthrin rejyment?”
sez the benevolent old butternut who hed
invested $10 in the deserter biznis.
“Sartin,” sez I.
Seezin me by the throte, he ejackelated, “Give
me my money, you swindler!” And with a unanimity
trooly surprisin, they awl yelled, “Give me
my money, you swindler—you got it under false
pretences.” Hevin the munny safe in my pokkit,
I took these compliments with ekanimity, sidlin
out and gettin away ez soon ez possible.
I am disappointed in Amandy. Frum wat I
hed heard, I hed supposed they were kind to deserters.
I found that it makes much differense
wich side you desert from.
