University of Virginia Library

44. XLIV.
PREACHES—SUBJECT: “THE PRODIGAL SON.”

My Brethren and Sisteren: I shall make
sum remarks this mornin based upon the bootiful
Parable of the Proddygal Son. I wood reed 2 yoo
the passij, but the Bible I hev is the only wun in
the township, and I lent it yisterday 2 Square
Gavitt, who sed swarin witnesses on almanacs
woodent do in hoss cases, and he hasent brung it
back. The skripter sez, in substance:

Ther was a certin man who hed 2 sons. The
yungist hed a taist for that branch uv agricultooral
persoots known ez sowin wild oats; so he askt
the old man for his sheer uv the estait. He got
it, turnd it into greenbax, and went off. He
commenst livin high—bording at big hotels, and
keepin trottin hosses, and playin bilyards, and
sich. In about a year he run thro his pile, and
wuz ded broak. Then his credit playd out, and he
wuz in a tight place for his daily bred. The idee
struck him that he hed better put for hum, wich
he did. The old man saw him a cumin, and he

run out and met him, and giv him a new cote,
and a order for a pare uv shoes, and kild a fat
caff, and hed flour doins. The oldest boy obgected
2 these, sayin, “Lo, I hev servd thee these
menny yeres, and thou never madest no splurge
over me, but when this thy son, who hez fooled
away his pile, returns, you kill calves and sich.”
Then the old man retorts, sayin, “My son who
wuz lost is found; the sheep who went astray is
cum back; let us be merry.”

My brethren, this parable applize ez well to
the present time ez though it wuz made for it.
Uncle Samyuel is the old man, the Suthern wing
uv the Dimekratik party is the proddygal, and
the Abolishnists is the oldest son. The South
got tired, and went off on its own hook. It hez,
I make no doubt, spent the heft uv its substance,
and will shortly conclude to cum home. Now, the
grate question uv the hour is—How shel he be
reseeved? My frends, the Dimekratik rool is to
foller the scripter wen yoo can make a pint by so
doin. In this pertikeler case, godlinis is gane.
Halleloogy! therefour, let us be godly. Let Uncle
Samyuel see the repentant proddygal afar orf—
let him go out to seek him, er send Fernandywood,
and when he hez found him, let him fall,
not upon his neck, but at his feet—let him put on

to him the purple robe, wich is royalty, and upon
his hand a ring, wich is dominion, wich is a improvement
upon Scripter.

But the Abolishnist, who is the elder son, steps
up and sez: “Nary. He wuz a doin well, and he
wented out frum us, takin awl that wuz his own,
and sech ez he cood steel, all uv wich he hez
spent upon such harlots as Afrikin Slaivry, Stait
Rites, and Suthern Independence, wich last two
menshund is whited sepulkers. I sent my sons,
Grant, and Rosycrance, and Benbutler after him;
but, lo! wen he wuz strong and wiggerrus, he did
despitefully use them. Now that he is week from
hunger, let him brindle. Ef we take him to our
buzems, let him cum on his knees; let him cast
off the harlots that hev sedoost him, that ther
may be no moar trubble in all the land.”

My brethren, we must taik him back ez the old
man did in the Bible. Why? do you ask. Becoz
he wuz alluz the old man's pet, and had
things his own way. We wuz his frends, and
shared with him the steelins, but sence he went
out, the Abolishn brother and his frends hev controld
things, and whare air we? Eko ansers, Nowhair!
We okepy low plasis in the sinagog, and
the doggery-keepers go mournin about the streets,
and refuse to be comforted, becoz ther cash is not,

and ef we taik back the proddygal, shorn of his
strength, uv what avail is he to us? He must
cum back ez strong as ever; he must bring his
harlots with him—he must ROOL! Then shel
we hev the post-orifises, and then shel we agin
live on the fat uv the land, dodgin the cuss uv
labor. Brethrin, let us be dillygent in this grate
work, instant in seeson and out of seeson.

A collecshun wuz takin up for the purpus uv
sending a mishunary 2 Massychusits, wich yeelded
7 dolars. Ez the amount woodent pay the rale-rode
fair, it wuz voted to apply it on repairs on
the church, wich I did by havin my boots haff-sold,
and buyin a new hankercher.