38. XXXVIII.
TAKES A RETROSPECTIVE VIEW.
Church uv the Slawterd Innocents, }
(Lait St. Vallandigum,) December the 11th, 1863.
Yisterdy I heerd a Ablishnist remark: “The
world moves.” The observashen (wich I hev
heerd frequently uv lait) set me into a trane
uv refleckshen. My comprehensive mind sprang
back into the misty days uv the past, and I wuz a
boy agin. Twenty-six years ago I wuz a splittin
my symetrikle throte a hollerin for Van Booren.
Them wuz the pammy days uv Dimokrasy. Androo
Jaxn hed left us his naim ez capital for us
to do biznis on, wile he wuz out uv the way, and
coodent interfere with our steelin, wich wuz comfortable.
We wuz beeten, but wuz still strong and
viggerous, knowin that we cood manaje to live
doorin Harryson's reign on wat we hed stole
doorin Van Booren's, the fasilites havin been unlimitid.
O, them times! Ther wuz Cass, and
Davis, and Dickinson, and Calhoon, and Tooms,
and Bill Allen, and Duglis, (who wuz jest comin
in,) and Ritchy, and Benton, and Isaer Rynders,
and Wise, and Yankee Sullivan—a gelloreous
galaxy uv intellectooal and muskeler Dimokrasy,
sech ez the world never seed afore, and never
will agin. Wuz Abolishnism tolratid in them
happy daze? Not enny. O, with what arder
Luvjoy wuz shot at Alton! How wiggerusly the
Dimokrasy laberd to throw his press in2 the turbid
waters uv the Missisipi! Wood, O wood that
we cood hev sunk his doctrins with his press!
Did we allow Abolishn talk? Nary. These stalwart
arm hev hurled baskitfuls uv unsavry eggs
at the pedlers uv polittikle heresy, and my skill
in eggin Abolishn lecterers wunst made me justis
uv the peese in my native township.
In the South, every hill-side wuz dottid with the
carcasses uv Noo Ingland skoolmarms, who, hevin
bin suspected uv teechin niggers to rede, wuz
justly hung; and the pleasent crack uv the whip
wuz heerd all over the land. O, them Arcadian
days, wen it only took 20 minits to arrest, try,
sentence, hang, and divide the close uv a Yankee
skool-teecher!
But, alas! heresies crep in2 our ranks, and ther
wuz confooshun. Van Booren bolted and bete
Cass; and, notwithstandin he repentid afterward,
the Abolishon pizon he interdoost in2 the Dimekratik
body pollytik, remaned. It broke out in
ugly sores in Ohio, in 1848, in the shaip uv the
feendish Free-sile party. Then Chaise and Brinkerhoof
sluffed orf, and jind with our ainshent enemies.
Jest afterward the Anti-Nebrasky excitement,
cuppled with No-nothinism, whaled us, and
it wuz only by sooperhooman eggsershens that
we electid Bookannon. Since, it hez bin nothin
but disaster. Bookannon and Duglis got by the
ears; Duglis refoosed to cave to his Suthrin brethrin;
Linkin wuz electid; war ensood; and now
wat do these old eyes behold? Cass, and Ben Butler,
and Logan, and Dix, and Dickison, and Dave
Tod, strikin hands with Josh Giddins and Horris
Greely! It is a singeler fact that every leader
we used to trust is now agin us. And wuss. Abolishn
papers is bein publisht in South Karliny,
in Tennisee, Kentucky, and Loozeaner, and a
millyun uv men, led by the ghosts and ghostesses
uv them hung skoolmasters and skoolmarms
aforesaid, assisted by John Brown's soul, wich is
littrally a marchin on, is enforcin a proclamashen
freein all the niggers at wun stroak, and the Dimokrasy,
bein sum hundreds uv thowsends in the
minority, is powerless to prevent it.
Trooly, the world moves. It hez moved the
Dimokrasy from the pedestal uv power it wunst
okepide, and laid it prostrait. It hez elevatid
men we despised, and adoptid idees we scoft at.
Yunger men may shift and git in2 the tide agin,
but ez for me, I can't. I shel maik wun moar
effort, and if we fail—why, then, I shel withdraw
frum public life, and start a grocery, and in that
umble callin will flote peecefully down the streem
uv time, until my wether-beten bark strikes on
the rox of deth, gittin my likker in the menetime
(uv wich I consume menny) at wholesail prices.
Petroleum V. Nasby,
Paster uv sed Church, in charge.
