University of Virginia Library

36. XXXVI.
PROPOSES TO RESTORE THE UNION.

Ther is but jest wun way by wich this wunst
happy, but now distractid, govement kin be reyoonitid,
and that way I hev diskoverd, and shel
apply for a pattent thereon. It is, breefly, this:

The holdin uv a jint nashnel convenshun, in
wich each Dimekratik delegait shel hev 12 voats,
to a Ablishnist's one, for the purpus uv preservin
a ekillibrum, wich is nessary.

The restorashen uv the Unyun ez 't was, to
akomplish wich feet, the convenshen shel nomminait
them pure patriots and hi-minded staitsmen,
Jeems Bookannon and Jon C. Brekinrij, for President
and Vice, who shel be electid by the Northrin
staits, ez a slite token uv remorse for wat
they hev dun.

The eleckshen to be held next spring, and the
inoggerashen, and consekent distribbushen uv orfisis
to foller immejitly, that the fatheful may be
consiliatid, and the whisky intrest releeved, ez
soon ez possible.

Bookannon shel git together sich uv his old

Cabbynit ez hevent died er turnd Ablishnist, (ther
plasis to be filld with sich men ez Fernandywood
and Vallandigum.) The present war wood, uv
coarse, stop, becoz our inflaimd Suthrin brethrin
wood hev nothin watever to fite for, hevin considdably
more than they ever askt for, wich is hily
Dimekratik.

Then the armies wood be jined under the command
uv that emmynent cheeftain, General Lee,
with that uther overpowrin stratejist, McClellen,
(hoo resembles him in every thing ceptin his ability,)
ez his sekond, the Confedrit offisers bein all
promoted to briggadeers. That the amount uv
steelin nessary to soothe the Suthrin mind may be
hed, I sejest a war with the French, lookin to the
conquest uv Mexiko. This wood be a killin uv 2
birds with wun stun, to-wit:

1. Affordin the Suthrin brethrin a opportoonity
uv makin good ther lossis in this war, by takin
fat contrax in the next; and,

2. We wood hev Mexiko to divide up into
slaive staits, killin Noo Ingland completely.

Wich wood soothe the Suthrin mind, and
squench the Suthrin hart.

Congris shood immejitly pass a act makin it
treezn, punishable with deth, to refooze Confedrit
skrip ez payment for prodoose uv awl kinds, and

also to pay off the Confedrit war debt befoar eny
thing else is did.

I maik no doubt that a large number uv fanattix
in the north will obgekt to this consillatory
polisy, but I care not. Our gelloreous Constooshn
wuz a compermise, and ef it is preserved to us, it
will be by compermise. No troo Dimekrat, who
hez the good uv his party at hart, will say nay to
enny uv these proposishens.

Ablishnists and week-need Dimekrats may
obgect on the ground uv the perpetuation uv the
slaivry feecher uv the skeem. To me this hes
nary terer; on the contrary, I like it much.

Slaivry is a huje Juggernaut. Jest so long ez
we Northren Dimekrats lade flat in the mud afore
its wheels, we wuz not injoord, but merely shovd
further in2 the mire, puttin us, however, in the
eggsact posishun to ketch the ile that dript frum
the axels. But wen we tride to stand afore it, we
wuz smashed. Duglis wuz a eminent wictim. O,
let us not only restore the Yoonyun ez it wuz and
the Constooshn ez it is, but let us resoom our old
posishn ez soon ez possible.