13. XIII.
CAPTURES A TURKEY.
Camp uv the Looisiana Pelicans, }
November the 15th, 1862.
Nasby still lives, tho I must say its rayther
tite nippin. The servis uv the Suthrin Confedracy
wood be ez pleasant ez any military life
cood be, were it not for three things, to-wit:
1. We hev nothin to eat.
2. Our clothes is designed more for ornament
than use, consistin cheefly uv holes with rags
around em—an appropriate summer costoom, but
rayther airy for this season.
3. Our pay is irreglar, and not jest ez good
in quality ez cood be wished.
Fer instance. Our regiment hazzent reseevd
a cent fer 8 months, and ther wuz much grumblin,
wich cum to the ears uv the kernel.
“The men murmur, do they?” sed he to his
ajitent. “Their complaints is just, and they
shel be paid their just dooze. Is ther a printin
offis in the town?”
“Ther is,” retorts the ajitent.
“Go take possession uv it in the name uv the
Confedrit States, and seeze whatever paper he
may hev on hand. The faithful Pelicans must
be paid.”
The next day every wun uv the men hed his
haversack stufft with money, each wun takin ez
much ez he judgd he cood use. It does very
well, except that it gives the grocery-keepers
much trouble, as they take it by weight—a $1
bein wuth ez much ez a $20, ceptin that the
$20 is a trifle the largest, and weighs more.
A incident. I wuz out on pikkit dooty, in
the immejit visinnity uv a planter's barn, who
hed bin suspectid uv Unionism. I saw a turkey,
capchered it, and indulged all the way into
camp into the pleasant idee that, fer the fust
time in 2 months, I wood hev a stumic-distendin
dinner. Ez I entered camp I met the kernel,
who, ez his eagle eye caught the proud bird I
held, spoke, sayin:
“Ha! a turkey! Wher gottist thow him?”
“I capcherd him at Johnson's,” replied I.
“Fat and young,” mused he, feelin uv him;
and then, lookin up, thus he did say: “My venerable
patriot, (he allooded to my gray hairs,)
this bird belonged to a Union man, and all sich
property taken by the army belongs, uv coarse,
2 the goverment. Yoo will 4thwith take it to
my quarters.”
Not hevin eaten any thing for 18 hours, I
determined to make wun effort for my turkey.
Sez I: “Admittin the bird belongs to the goverment,”
sez I, “I may retane him, I suppose,
by payin his valyoo,” and I tendered him a
handful uv the money we hed reseevd that
mornin.
“Not so fast, my aged hero,” sed he. “The
goverment needs turkeys more than it does
money. Money we kin make, but yoo must be
aware that, without a material alterashen in
our anatomikle structure, the makin uv a turkey
by us is a impossibility. Leave the property
at my quarters.” * * * * *
That nite I passed the kernel's quarters.
Ther wuz a sound uv revelry within, and the
odor uv a Thanksgivin dinner assaild my nostrils.
The next mornin I saw the kernel's dorg
a chawin the bones uv that goverment turkey.
