University of Virginia Library

10. X.
IN CANADA.

After more advenchers than wood fill a book,
I am here in Kanada, safe under the protectin
tail uv the British Lion, where no draftin orfiser
kin molest nor make me afraid. Halleloogy!

I never shood hev taken this step—or, ruther,
the succeshun uv steps that brot me here—hed
a good, sound, constooshnel doctor bin appinted
Medical Eggsaminer; fer I hev twict ez menny
diseases ez wood hev eggsemptid me, but I wuz
afeerd the Eggsaminer woodent see em, ez he
aint much uv a physician anyhow; besides, he
votes the Union tickit, and hez, uv coarse, prejudisis.
The Commissioner is a bluddy Ablishnist;
and, besides, I owe him a store bill wich hez
stood about 8 years. I protest agin all sich appintments.

I left, in company with 5 other invalids, wun
nite, a little after the “witchin hour uv 12 M.,”
ez Shakspeer hez it, and any wun beholdin our
faces wood hev bin satisfide that sum “church-yard
yawned” jest previously. We traveld all nite,
“sustaned and soothed by an unfaltrin trust” in

a bottle wich I, with my usual 4site, took along,
together with 2 and 1-third yards uv bolony
sassige, wich I alluz use ez a thirst-provoker.
We met no interrupshen till we got within 5
miles uv Toledo, (wich we did by 5 P. M. uv
the next day—wich, permit me to remark, wus
good travelin fer sich debillytatid cusses,) when
we wuz stopt by a pickit-gard uv the “Anti-draftin
Invalid League,” who remarkt: “Who
goes there?” “A invalid,” sez I. “A Peece
invalid?” sez he. “Ther aint no other kind,” sez
I; whereupon, sez he, “Yoor a man uv sence;” a
fact uv wich I hed been long aware. I presentid
my liqwid consiliater, when he informd me that
Toledo wuz closely watcht, that escape by steemer
was impossible, and that a small bote was our
only chance. He took us to the lake shore, furnisht
us a bote, and, jest as the golden sun wuz
a sinkin behind the golden horizon, I bid my
nativ land adoo.

I need not dwell upon the perils uv that terrible
passage. Suffice it 2 say, that, fer invalids,
we rowed well, and finally landed at the little
village uv Brest, wher we now air.

200 Peece men are here, and I must acknowledge
that we are not treeted with that distinguished
consideration usually accordid political

eggsiles. Fer instance, at the tavern where I
board, the parler is partikelerly plesent, and I
wuz a settin into it. In trips a girl, purty enuff
fer a man whose taste wuz not vishiated 2 eat.
“Shel I shet down this window, sir?” sez she.
“Why shet it down, gentle maid?” retorts I,
lookin sweet onto her. “Because,” replide she,
“I thot, perhaps, the DRAFT was too much fer
ye.” A few slavish Kanajens, who set there,
laft. The landlord required a month's pay in
advance, and a further deposit uv 25 cents per
eggsile, as sekoority fer the pewter spoons wich
we hev at table. To cap the climacks, last nite
a big nigger was put into eech uv our rooms, and
we were forced to sleep with em, or okkepy the
floor, wich I did. The cussid nigger laft all nite,
in a manner trooly aggravatin to hear.