University of Virginia Library

95. XCV.
ISSUES AN ADDRESS TO THE SOUTHERN DEMOCRACY.

To the Dimokrasy uv the Suthern Staits:

Deerly beloved, I saloot yoo!

The evence uv the past 4 yeers hev bin momenchus.
The war hez ended—to a sooperfishel
observer it wood seem disastrusly to yoo and us,
but to him whose eagle eye kin pierce the misty
fucher, gellorusly.

Troo, we lost the orfises, and hev bin for 4 long
and weery yeers on steril ground, whose froots
wuz wormy and whose water wuz bitter. So the
children uv Izrel wandered forty yeers in the wildernis,
but they finelly found a Canan, full uv fatnis,
runnin with milk and honey, and sich, so shel
we emerge into our Canan ere long.

The war hez hed its uses. We hev diskivered
that the Suthern Dimekrat cood be dependid on
to fite; yoo hev diskivered that the Northern
Dimekrat cood be depended on to do yoor dirty
work, thro thick or thin, and we hev both diskivered
that the Ablishnist is no coward, and will

reely make sacrifices for principle. Knowin all
this, we kin work intelligently in the fucher.

It is the dooty now uv every Suthern Dimekrat
to take the oath, to wunst, and be metamorphozd
in2 loyalty. Then we 've got em. Demand, ez
only a Sutherner kin demand, that the military
be withdrawd, and that yoor representatives be
admitted. Then, ef we kin carry enuff deestriks
North, yoo hev the game in yoor own hand. But
to accomplish this last feet, yoo must aid us.

We hev bin unforchnit in our politikle venchers,
and at leest wun uv our prophecies must
cum troo, utherwise how kin we go afore the people?
The nigger is all we 've left, and the variety
we hev up here is uv no yoose to us, for they
are all earnin their own livin, and ain't crowdin
white folks out uv poor-houses, at all. It 's my
candid convickshun that the grovelin cusses work
and earn munny, jest 2 spite us. In sum localities,
our sagashus managers hev indoost sum uv
em to drink with em, and in a few months got em
into delirium tremens, and their families in2 poor-houses.
To their untuterd bowels our likker is
litenin. But this can't be dun ginrally, becoz it 's
all our leeders kin do to keep their own skins full.
To yoo we look for aid.

A enterprisin Yankee (cusses on the race!) wuz

wunst askt wat biznis he followd to make so much
munny. He replide that he hed the itch, and he
traveld ahed, givin it to people, his brother comin
immejitly after, sellin a cure. Let us imitait
their wisdom. Promptly ship to eech Northern
stait 200,000 old wuns who can't work, and to
make asshoorence doubly shoor, starve em awhile,
and run the measles and small-pox thro em. Mix
with em a few thousand black wimmen with mulatter
children, to show the horrors uv amalgamashun.
Then we 'd hev suthin to go on! Ez
we carted em in2 poor-houses, and levid taxis to
support em, how our speekers wood gush! how
our papers wood howl! After 4 yeers uv failyoor
in the prophecy biznis, the ijee uv hevin
wun cum troo, sets me into a delirium tremens uv
goy.

Then, immejitly, yoor legislachers must pass
stringent laws agin a nigger leavin his respective
county, and then pass another law not allowin
any man to give able-bodied wuns to exceed $5 a
month. This dun, I hev faith to bleeve thousands
uv em will beg to be agin enslaved, about mid
winter. Ef they will persist in dyin in freedom,
we kin, at least, pint 2 ther bodis, and say in a
sepulkrel tone: “Wen niggers wuz wuth $1500,
they wuz not allowd to die thus—behold the froots

uv Ablishn philanthropy!” Either way, it 's cappitle
for us.

Yoo must inkulkate the doctrin uv State Rites,
zeluser than ever, and while yoo air gittin yoor
peeple tuned up on that, we 'll hammer away at
debt and corupshun, and sich deliteful themes,
and wunst more we 'll git the Ablishnist under
our feet.

I hev indikatid breefly the ginral outlines uv
the polisy we must pursoo ef we wood succeed.
Uther ijees will sejest themselves to yoo—let us
hev em, and we 'll act on em.

In conclooshun. Be wary and untirin. Remember,
on yoo depends the politikle forchoons
uv the thousands who wunst held offis, but who
hev bin to grass for 4 long weery yeers. We
must succeed now or never.